1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. bluejag69

    bluejag69 Registered User

    Oct 3, 2014
    Dad deteriorated so so fast over the last 2 weeks since goin into care home. It was scary, he walked into that home and was talking and he lost everything in those 2 weeks. It started with bowel problems , then not eating or drinking and spitting out meds. Started being sleepy and got peripheral disease, and couldn't really open his eyes properly, but still managed to tell us to ****** off and leave him alone! Last thing he said to me was goodbye, and not in a good way. 2 days later we get called in, theres just a skeleton of a man that used to be my dad lying still, half an eye open, with laboured breathing , dr says he's got 24 hrs. What's that about?

    I mean we knew it was goin to happen but not so fast, but then on the other hand it was like he knew cos he had a clearout big time , then it was like he sat down and gave up. Only godsend was although it was awful sitting from 10am til 5am watching his every breath and waiting for his last, it didnt drag in for him, and he was calm and comfortable as far we know. I can't believe how cruel this thing is that takes our loved ones away.
    Night night Dad, I know you loved me really even though you told me to ****** off!!!

    Love u, jackie xxx
  2. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    I'm so sorry to read your news. Sending my condolences.
  3. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    Brixham Devon
    I'm also sorry Jackie. Please accept my condolences at this very sad time.


    Lyn T xx
  4. jaymor

    jaymor Volunteer Moderator

    Jul 14, 2006
    So sorry to hear your sad news, condolances to you and your family.
  5. Mother goose

    Mother goose Registered User

    Jul 5, 2012
    Co.Sligo, Ireland
    I'm so sorry, Jackie, to hear about your Dad. You were the kind person giving me advice about my Mum & at the same time, you were trying to deal with your Dad's situation. I really feel for you, as you said, it all happened so quickly. At least he is not suffering anymore & he obviously did love you, it was the horrible disease that took over & changed him.

    I'll be thinking of you. You were always there for him & did everything you could possibly do, to help him. You now need to look after yourself & get your strength back, I'm sure that is what your Dad would want you to do. Take care & thank you so much for all your advice.
  6. Benrese

    Benrese Registered User

    Apr 12, 2014
    So sorry Jackie! No, this disease is not fair and never kind. Thank goodness your Dad had you to watch out for him. I hope you all can, in time, go back to remembering those happy times. Take good care of you.

  7. nellbelles

    nellbelles Volunteer Host

    Nov 6, 2008
    I am sorry to read your sad news, please accept my condolences to you and your family.
  8. jeany123

    jeany123 Registered User

    Mar 24, 2012
    So sorry, please accept my sympathy,
  9. lizzybean

    lizzybean Registered User

    Feb 3, 2014
    I'm so sorry to hear your news. He is at peace. Look after yourself.
  10. love.dad.but..

    love.dad.but.. Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    So sorry that your Dad has succumbed to this dreadful illness. I adjusted my thoughts a long time ago to when my Dad shouted at me in a horrible way his illness was talking to me and I reconciled that....when Dad spoke kindly softly and with the tiniest degree of clarity it was my dear old Dad even for a few brief minutes that I could feel his warmth to me again before it disappeared once more. I still have my Dad albeit declining in a nursing home so can only imagine your pain, although Mum died suddenly so have experienced grief in his raw state fairly recently. It was the illness that said goodbye to you in that horrible way....in your Dad's calm last moments it was his warmth and kindness to you that he would want you to remember. You have done such a great job as a caring daughter if your Dad could have done and stepped outside the grip of his dementia he would have told you how proud he is of you. Take care of yourself, look back on the pre dementia dear old Dad and the good times you both enjoyed in each other's company.
  11. Pickles53

    Pickles53 Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    Radcliffe on Trent
    My condolences and sympathy to you and your family, such a sad start to the new year.
  12. brambles

    brambles Registered User

    Sep 22, 2014
    NW England
    So very sorry Jackie

    brambles x
  13. angecmc

    angecmc Registered User

    Dec 25, 2012
    Sorry for your loss xx
  14. matchstick

    matchstick Registered User

    Dec 22, 2010
    Condolences to you and your family.your Dad is at peace now,Jackie.
  15. Anongirl

    Anongirl Registered User

    Aug 8, 2012
    I'm so sorry for your loss Bluejag69. I'm glad he is now in a better place but I know how hard it is to deal with loss.

    Thinking of you xxx
  16. Gigglemore

    Gigglemore Registered User

    Oct 18, 2013
    British Isles
    So sorry for your loss. Wishing you strength for the difficult time ahead, especially caring for your Mum.
  17. bluejag69

    bluejag69 Registered User

    Oct 3, 2014

    Thanks everyone, I know I havent been in here long but you've all been lovely , I will stay as Ive got to go through it all again with mum.

    Much live to you lovely kind people.

    Jackie xxx

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