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Dads at peace now!!

bluejag69

Registered User
Oct 3, 2014
67
Dad deteriorated so so fast over the last 2 weeks since goin into care home. It was scary, he walked into that home and was talking and he lost everything in those 2 weeks. It started with bowel problems , then not eating or drinking and spitting out meds. Started being sleepy and got peripheral disease, and couldn't really open his eyes properly, but still managed to tell us to ****** off and leave him alone! Last thing he said to me was goodbye, and not in a good way. 2 days later we get called in, theres just a skeleton of a man that used to be my dad lying still, half an eye open, with laboured breathing , dr says he's got 24 hrs. What's that about?

I mean we knew it was goin to happen but not so fast, but then on the other hand it was like he knew cos he had a clearout big time , then it was like he sat down and gave up. Only godsend was although it was awful sitting from 10am til 5am watching his every breath and waiting for his last, it didnt drag in for him, and he was calm and comfortable as far we know. I can't believe how cruel this thing is that takes our loved ones away.
Night night Dad, I know you loved me really even though you told me to ****** off!!!

Love u, jackie xxx
 

Mother goose

Registered User
Jul 5, 2012
257
Co.Sligo, Ireland
I'm so sorry, Jackie, to hear about your Dad. You were the kind person giving me advice about my Mum & at the same time, you were trying to deal with your Dad's situation. I really feel for you, as you said, it all happened so quickly. At least he is not suffering anymore & he obviously did love you, it was the horrible disease that took over & changed him.

I'll be thinking of you. You were always there for him & did everything you could possibly do, to help him. You now need to look after yourself & get your strength back, I'm sure that is what your Dad would want you to do. Take care & thank you so much for all your advice.
 

Benrese

Registered User
Apr 12, 2014
185
Lancashire
So sorry Jackie! No, this disease is not fair and never kind. Thank goodness your Dad had you to watch out for him. I hope you all can, in time, go back to remembering those happy times. Take good care of you.

Benrese
 

love.dad.but..

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
4,498
Kent
So sorry that your Dad has succumbed to this dreadful illness. I adjusted my thoughts a long time ago to when my Dad shouted at me in a horrible way his illness was talking to me and I reconciled that....when Dad spoke kindly softly and with the tiniest degree of clarity it was my dear old Dad even for a few brief minutes that I could feel his warmth to me again before it disappeared once more. I still have my Dad albeit declining in a nursing home so can only imagine your pain, although Mum died suddenly so have experienced grief in his raw state fairly recently. It was the illness that said goodbye to you in that horrible way....in your Dad's calm last moments it was his warmth and kindness to you that he would want you to remember. You have done such a great job as a caring daughter if your Dad could have done and stepped outside the grip of his dementia he would have told you how proud he is of you. Take care of yourself, look back on the pre dementia dear old Dad and the good times you both enjoyed in each other's company.
 

Anongirl

Registered User
Aug 8, 2012
2,668
I'm so sorry for your loss Bluejag69. I'm glad he is now in a better place but I know how hard it is to deal with loss.

Thinking of you xxx
 

bluejag69

Registered User
Oct 3, 2014
67
thanks

Thanks everyone, I know I havent been in here long but you've all been lovely , I will stay as Ive got to go through it all again with mum.

Much live to you lovely kind people.

Jackie xxx