Hello everyone I am posting my first thread. Husband has vascular dementia 1 year at home with me and carers coming in 3times a day, now hubby in care home 1 year 6months. I go to see him every second day. Meanwhile I have lost most of friends as they don't want to be involved any more with the result I have severe anxiety and depression been to doctor and there is 10week waiting list for some councelling have lost confidence about going out myself .just feel like we don't exist anymore. Anyone else felt let down by friends and relations because of my unwell husband. Love to all...
dadooronron
- Thread starter dadoronron
- Start date
Hello D and welcome to TP.
I'm sorry you are having such abad time. I'm glad that you found this forum though. I know you will find lots of help and support here. If you want a bit of light relief visit the Tea Room where you will find people posting some non dementia related topics.
http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forumdisplay.php?44-Tea-room
If you want to browse through the experiences of others who have posted about a partner with dementia you will find these threads here -
http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forumdisplay.php?69-I-have-a-partner-with-dementia
Looking forward to seeing you around.
Izzy
I'm sorry you are having such abad time. I'm glad that you found this forum though. I know you will find lots of help and support here. If you want a bit of light relief visit the Tea Room where you will find people posting some non dementia related topics.
http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forumdisplay.php?44-Tea-room
If you want to browse through the experiences of others who have posted about a partner with dementia you will find these threads here -
http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forumdisplay.php?69-I-have-a-partner-with-dementia
Looking forward to seeing you around.
Izzy
That is very sad for you first losing your husband then friends too. I think it is because they don't understand but you definitely will find understanding here if you interact and comment.
Most people respond well to empathy, and feel comforted. Not everyone explains why they feel so bad or they do not want to burden others. I think it is good to get things out in the open though and I have shared some (not all) of my sadness's or causes of them here because it just feels safe.
Sorry you needed to find this forum but glad you did x
Welcome to Talking Point, Dadoronron (had to check how that was spelt, there - great name!)
Fear not. You will make new friends here, as I have, I am sure. They have helped me through some horrible times, and we cry (and it has to be said, often laugh) together.
10 weeks waiting for counselling seems a long time - I wonder if there is an online counselling service you could use? Just a thought, and I'm sure someone will know if there's anything like that out there.
In the meantime, talk to us. We're good at listening, and hopefully you won't feel so alone.
Big hugs x
Fear not. You will make new friends here, as I have, I am sure. They have helped me through some horrible times, and we cry (and it has to be said, often laugh) together.
10 weeks waiting for counselling seems a long time - I wonder if there is an online counselling service you could use? Just a thought, and I'm sure someone will know if there's anything like that out there.
In the meantime, talk to us. We're good at listening, and hopefully you won't feel so alone.
Big hugs x
Hi there and welcome to TP. I am sorry to hear about "things" and can recognise so much. I asked for counselling through my GP and waited ages; in the end I paid for my own and it helped me so much.
Friends are strange, sometimes. I don't think they realise how vulnerable and lonely we get. My husband is in a nursing home and has been for over 2 years, so I truly do understand. I also felt like shutting myself away at one point, but slowly have started to do things. try going for a short walk each day; I speak to the people I meet (just good morning!!).
This does get easier as you rebuild your confidence.
thinking of you.
Jan x
Friends are strange, sometimes. I don't think they realise how vulnerable and lonely we get. My husband is in a nursing home and has been for over 2 years, so I truly do understand. I also felt like shutting myself away at one point, but slowly have started to do things. try going for a short walk each day; I speak to the people I meet (just good morning!!).
This does get easier as you rebuild your confidence.
thinking of you.
Jan x
Hi, welcome to TP, though I am sorry of your need to find us.
Sorry to hear those friends have deserted you.
I know it is not the same but I hope you will soon feel as though you are among friends here.
It's a good place to have a bit of a rant when things are getting on top of you.
Soon you will find lots of understanding support.
I look forward to seeing you around
Sorry to hear those friends have deserted you.
I know it is not the same but I hope you will soon feel as though you are among friends here.
It's a good place to have a bit of a rant when things are getting on top of you.
Soon you will find lots of understanding support.
I look forward to seeing you around
Hello from me and welcome to TP - lifesaver, companion, supporter and friend, it is all of these things, or it can be.
I have found relations have been supportive - from a distance though. They all live some distance away but when any have visited me, only one, my sister, has suggested visiting my husband in the nursing home. They are my relations though not my husbands's so perhaps that makes a difference.
Friends - most disappeared off the radar but the few that remain are the true friends and neighbours well, the less said the better. I live in a small close and even since my husband died a month ago, only one couple have done more than pop a card through the door and this couple have always supported me.
The excuse that people don't know what to say doesn't wash with me I'm afraid - just say anything!
The other, that people don't like to intrude doesn't either - how can the 2 words "I'm sorry" be intrusive!
The neighbours who are supportive reflect the real meaning of the word 'neighbour'.
I hope I don't sound bitter because I don't feel it. After the experience of the past few years, I've ceased to wonder at the peculiarities of others' behaviour. I guess we are all different and handle things in different ways. I've discovered myself saying "Each to their own" so many times over the past four or so years!
Just come back here and you won't feel alone again, I promise. x
