• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can be found in our area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

Daddysgurl i new at this

daddysgurl

Registered User
Oct 13, 2013
26
0
Essex
Hi this is my first post.

My 89 yo dad was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia 2 weeks ago while in hospital after having lung drainage. He is currently in re-hab trying to get back on his feet. He uses a frame. He is very frail and doesn't like eating and drinking much, which obviously he needs to do to get the strength to be able to use his legs and come back to live with me. Told him this and he says 'I see what you mean' but does he? Been given a 9 in assessment which they said is poor. Is this the normal speed of VD progressing or is every case individual? When I visited him yesterday (Thurs) I mentioned his grand-daughter shaving him yesterday (Wed)and he said "To be honest I cant remember being shaved". One of the longest sentences he has said unprompted for a long while. Double whammy trying to get him to understand he needs to walk(frame) to get out of re-hab and the annoyance he shows when asked to drink and eat more which is so out of character for him.

Will he ever come home to me?
 

FifiMo

Registered User
Feb 10, 2010
4,705
0
Wiltshire
What was he like at yours before all this happened? It could be that there is still time for improvement as just being in hospital can cause confusion. My mother for example made more progress when she got home than she did in the hosp. Think it was relief at getting out of there.

If I was you, I would make a list of the minimum improvements that would be needed for him to come home. Then I would consider whether there are any adaptations that could be done to help him or if there is any equipment that would help him. Could he cme home if there was a stair lift for example. Is there a toilet downstairs? If not he could use a commode perhaps? That kind of thing. If you speak with an occupational therapist they could visit your home and make helpful suggestions.

Fiona
 

daddysgurl

Registered User
Oct 13, 2013
26
0
Essex
What was he like at yours before all this happened? It could be that there is still time for improvement as just being in hospital can cause confusion. My mother for example made more progress when she got home than she did in the hosp. Think it was relief at getting out of there.

If I was you, I would make a list of the minimum improvements that would be needed for him to come home. Then I would consider whether there are any adaptations that could be done to help him or if there is any equipment that would help him. Could he cme home if there was a stair lift for example. Is there a toilet downstairs? If not he could use a commode perhaps? That kind of thing. If you speak with an occupational therapist they could visit your home and make helpful suggestions.

Fiona

Dad moved in with me to a ground floor flat after he came out from breaking his hip in June this year. Since then he fell again twice and also had a stent put in an abdominal aeortic aneurysm. On the day he first fell (he was in his house doing wordsearch, watching telly, reading the paper and taking himself upstairs to bed, making himself meals/drinks, going to the toilet) Since then he has lost interest in doing anything. No conversation. I have all the necessary equipment for when/if he comes back, but he is now doubly incontinent as well and just wants to sleep. The scan showed he had no strokes or tumours. Tonight when visiting him I tried (as usual) to converse with him but its yes/no when it should be no yes. Hope I have explained. Very hard to put it down in black and white.
 

FifiMo

Registered User
Feb 10, 2010
4,705
0
Wiltshire
How about you talk to the hospital Social Worker and an occupational therapist about him coming home to yours with a care package? If you don't ask you don't get. They can try your dad on a home visit and it could be the thing that perks him up a little. My mother was doubly incontinent in hospital but my view is that it suited them because toileting people takes time especially if they are confused. When she got home the pads were the first to go and she was back to using the toilet again. Only by trying can you know for sure it will work.

The care home alternative is not so bad. They have staff to do all the physical work and so you can spend time with your dad without being worn out going to work and doing the caring bit too.

Whatever the outcome I hope you find a solution that works for your dad and you.

Fiona
 

daddysgurl

Registered User
Oct 13, 2013
26
0
Essex
How about you talk to the hospital Social Worker and an occupational therapist about him coming home to yours with a care package? If you don't ask you don't get. They can try your dad on a home visit and it could be the thing that perks him up a little. My mother was doubly incontinent in hospital but my view is that it suited them because toileting people takes time especially if they are confused. When she got home the pads were the first to go and she was back to using the toilet again. Only by trying can you know for sure it will work.

The care home alternative is not so bad. They have staff to do all the physical work and so you can spend time with your dad without being worn out going to work and doing the caring bit too.

Whatever the outcome I hope you find a solution that works for your dad and you.

Fiona

Thank you for your reply. He had a care package when he was home and they said they will review it when the time comes. I think he gets ratty with me about his incontinence because it must be embarrassing for him in front of his daughter. Still got some pride. Hopefully the situation will be resolved soon.