Registered User
May 6, 2006
Sorry if my message was written too quickly.Wondered if anyone ina similar situation? My dad has severe dementia as well as other complex medical problems. He will not attend day care, respite, mental health care or nursing home care. He was aggressive to staff in hospital and pulled out all medication and spat out tablets, refused to eat and drink and was diagnosed by the consultant as having only 2 weeks to live. We were told he would have to go to a nursing home for 24 hour care but when there he fell out of bed constantly, broke his nose, and had a black eye in the first week.We decided to bring him home and after coming home with my sisiter's help we gradually nursed him back to health. He is now able to walk around but needs someone with him at all times.

I am caring for him at home on my own now ( but with social services coming in 4 times a day) and trying to get continuing care funding for care in the daytime for me to work. Wondered if there was anyone who was in a similar situation??

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Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
Just like to say Hi welcome to TP .

I can only say that I remember when my mother would not take medication, but never spat it out, how you are coping alone I don’t know if you don’t mind me saying .

I have read on TP that other people spit medication out and they try to give medication crash in a drink if that’s of any help have you tried that ?

when you say 2 weeks to live is your father at the end of the stages
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Registered User
Feb 22, 2006
sort of north east ish
Hello Trish. Welcome to TP. I'm afraid I don't know about continuing care funding. I'm sure someone will.

What an amazingly courageous thing to do, to take dad home and care for him in such difficult circumstances. I hope you're not trying to do this entirely alone, it must be exhausting emotionally as well as physically.

Do keep posting. I'm sure someone will be able to give some more practical advice soon.

best wishes



Registered User
Aug 20, 2006
Be wary of crushing tablets and putting them in drinks.

Many tablets are designed to dissolve slowly when swallowed, to release the drug they contain in a controlled way over a period of time.

Crushing tablets and dissolving them in drinks can change this.

You should always ask your doctor if it is safe to do this.

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Hi Trish, It is extremely unselfish of you to take your father home to nurse him yourself. Is he in pain and does he only have 2 weeks to live because he is refusing medication? Has he had enough? Is this why he`s refusing medication? These are questions I would ask his GP, together with the rights and wrongs of administering medication, contrary to the directions.
The GP may also be able to point you in the right direction re continuing care funding.
I hope you get some answers. Sylvia

Tender Face

Account Closed
Mar 14, 2006
NW England
Dear Trish

Hugest admiration goes without saying ... I wonder if you and your dad would achieve more help just now from sources not associated with his dementia but with his other 'complex needs'? (Nurse Specialists etc) .....

GP seems to be the starting point ... remember duty doctors (and Emergency Social Services) are available 24/7 - don't be on your own.....

Sorry, can't be much more help ... just sending very best wishes... please keep posting and let us know how things are....

Love, Karen, x


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Hi Trish

Welcome to TP. I hope you manage to get some help with caring for your dad. You've taken on a huge task.

My mum also refused food and medication, she pulled out her nasal tubes every time they fitted them. She just didn't want to love any longer in her condition. There isn't really a lot you can do in that situation, apart from keep talking to them and trying to persuade them that they are valued.

Good luck,


Registered User
Sep 26, 2005
east sussex

Trish have you thought about finding a hospice for your Dad? It could be for the best for both of you.

regards Cynron x x


Registered User
Aug 2, 2006

One of the previous responses is correct that tabs dissolved in liquid especially apparently tea with milk is not a good idea. I had the same problem and phoned around the relevant pharmaceutical companys to check. The dispenser was useless.
Found in the end that if you can get the med in syrup form it goes well with fruit juice and nobody is any the wiser.



Registered User
Nov 22, 2006
Trish this sounds as if you need to consult with your dad's GP and ask for the District Nurse or Community matron to visit( it varies from area to area). The GP will hopefully be able to explain which tablets are important now your dad is so poorly .. he may be able to stop some altogether. Then you can concentrate on trying to get him taking the ones that help the most. The nurse will be able to help you with practical things and can support you even if you want to do all the caring yourself ( or your Dad won't let anyone else help).
I note you are in Wales and I can only say what would happen in England where I believe the system is a bit different. Continuing care funding is from Social Services and if your Dad qualified, any care he received from Care Agencies or Social Services would be paid for. Any care provided by District Nurse for his nursing needs is free. Usually in England it is a Social Worker who starts the process for continuing care funding. You can phone Social Services Customer advice and self refer as a matter of urgency if you feel you need help with caring or the District Nurse could put you in touch.

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