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New member
Oct 16, 2021
My dad has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, I was expecting this really. But I can’t believe how hard it has hit me!
I have worked with the elderly for 35 years so have an excellent understanding of this horrible disease. But having a family member diagnosed with Alzheimer’s is breaking my heart and I’m really struggling to get my head round it.
I visit dad frequently through the week and do lots for him, I think it’s probably due to the fact I know what’s coming in his progression that I’m finding really difficult.
It’s one think working with dementia patients at work, but you go home at the end of the shift, it’s totally different with it being my dad
Did other people feel like this? I’ve spent the past 6 weeks crying


Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
Hi @Audreyvera and welcome to Dementia Talking Point. Sorry that you're dad's diagnosis has bought you here, but you'll find lots of support here.
First of all everyone with dementia is different, so I don't think you can second guess what might happen. If you can, enjoy the time you have with him now. Secondly have things such as power of attorney been sorted out. I don't know how much care your dad needs at the moment, but maybe now is the time to start getting some care in.
I'm sure others will be along shortly with their suggestions, but in the meantime have a look round the site, and know you're somewhere where people will understand what you are going through.


Registered User
Sep 22, 2014
NW England
Hello @Audreyvera , Yes I remember feeling exactly the same when my mum was daignosed. I worked in a hospital and saw many distressing situations involvoving patients with dementia and could not bear to think my mum would end up like this.
However, as @Sarasa says, every case is different. Five years down the line, my mum is still content and living a comfortable life. Yes she has deteriorated and is in a carehome now, but she likes it there. Her memory is shot at, but she still knows me, still enjoys my visits and enjoys getting out for a sit on the promnade or a coffee.
It is always a shock, getting a dementia diagnosis, even when you've seen it coming for a long time.
Don't expect the worst, just make the most of your time together and get all the help you can.


Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
i worked for 9 years in a care home which the majority had dementia. i know whats coming too but it really doesnt help. its a whole lot difference to care for them and then go home at the end of the shift to put your feet up and relax knowing theyare the next shifts responsibility. my husband has vascular dementia and i dont get to go home and let another shift pick up the job. also you are emotionally invested in a family member/husband so theres no professional distance.
but not everything that you have experience in your working life will necessarily happen in your personal life and relationships.