Dad

[Nel]

Visited Dad today, he's been good for quite a few days now. However as soon as clapped eyes on him tonight I knew something wasn't right but I can't say what. He was slumped in his chair, barely on the same planet as the rest of us. I couldn't get him to sit up and he looked through me like I wasn't there. The staff said 'he's fine, eaten all his dinner' but if I can see that he is not 'normal' why cant they? I did manage to get him to eat his tea, puree mash & mince, mmmmm, nice! Paracetamol was the answer apparently, just in case he has a headache!! He may have, he can't talk coherently now, something is amiss, I just know.
He has been diagnosed for 7 years now and is approaching 87 years of age, I don't know what to expect any more. I'm told he is in the final stages of AD but what are the final stages and how long does it last? What happens next? He's sleeping 18 hours a day, is that a clue? It's a long haul and I really am struggling with holding it all together as there is only me. I hate to say it but is the end approaching? Not sure if this is a general pattern of AD, can anyone advise?

Thankyou for understanding and being there. xx

 

[May]

Nel

So sorry to hear that your Dad was not good today. It may just be the progress of the disease, it may be a difference in meds or maybe even a UTI.

He was slumped in his chair, barely on the same planet as the rest of us. I couldn't get him to sit up and he looked through me like I wasn't there.

My Mum is pretty advanced, she doesn't speak anymore, some days we can get a smile or a kiss,others she will totally look through us as though she is in her own little world, we may as well not be there. She also sleeps for many hours a day. I think that as the disease progresses it's almost like the body has to rest more to be able to function. I honestly don't think there is any pattern to this d**n disease, we may get lots of things that appear the same, but each person is different.

It's a long haul and I really am struggling with holding it all together as there is only me.

Hang on in there, come to TP when you need support, your not on your own but amongst friends here.

Take care.

 

[Taffy]

but if I can see that he is not 'normal' why cant they?

Dear Nel,

I use to ask that same question

The staff said 'he's fine, eaten all his dinner'

and got the same answer.

What caused mum to be like this was TIA's. She was 84years old and no history of high blood pressure your dad's symptoms described mum's.

This of coarse doesn't mean the same is happening to your dad I'm just sharing my experience because I know how frustrating knowing something isn't right is and being told that.... no every things fine. Could you speak with your dad's Dr and discuss your concerns?

With dementia there are only guidelines, nothing is set in stone there are no time frames.

I know this is distressing for you and understandably so, try just to take each day as it comes, little comfort I know but really there is little else you can do.

Caring Thoughts,

Keep posting for support

Love Taffy.

 

[jc141265]

Dear Nell,
Go with your instincts, I proved it time and time again with Dad, I would just feel it with Dad (he couldn't talk either)...you get to know them so well, it just becomes instinct. The carers at the home would never notice but I would, and sure enough every time I'd say to them...something isn't right and they would say he was fine, a few days later he would have a temperature or an infection of some kind. Eventually they began to listen to me.
One thing I'd be wary of, is that when Dad was sleeping and sleeping and sleeping always seeming out of it, it turned out that the home was giving him meds that were causing that. Problem is that they blatantly told us they weren't giving him such drugs...it wasn't until Mum took him out of the home and found a bill for drugs that she usually wasn't given, that proved that they had been. I'm not suggesting you panic about it, it may be that he just has an infection and his body is sleeping a lot to try and get over it, but if the sleepiness stays, I would be asking them to show you a list of medications he is given each day. (Not that that stops them from hiding the fact, but it may cause them to be more cautious if they are aware that you are not one to just let things slide)
Unfortunately I found that the best way to get the best care for Dad was to make it clear that he wasn't one of the forgotten ones and that I could show up any time and would want to know why he hadn't been fed, why he was still in wet pants, why he was not seeming right, etc.
Best wishes,

 

[suzanne]

paracetamol

Afternoon Nel,with my mother Paracetamol is akin to morphine in its effects so rarely give and constant use in itself wil cause what is called a rebound headache, perhaps you could diplomatically point out that medication just in case is not best practice especially with painkillers. I hope this is a help and your father gets back to his norm. Suzy