Dad

Laura1985

New member
Dec 5, 2017
5
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Hey all. I came across this forum just now and have decided to sign up to gain a better knowledge and understanding of Demetia/Alzheimer’s and to hopefully talk to people in similar situations. So... here goes the story. My dad is 70 and was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s about 8 weeks ago after numerous blood tests, MRI’s, memory specialists etc. My dad has been forgetful for as long as I can remember, but over the past 3-4 years, he’s gradually gotten worse. Repeating himself, forgetting he’s done or said certain things, getting aggressive for no apparent reason. The fact he has a severe stammer doesn’t help matters. I pushed and pushed my mom to arrange for him to be observed and eventually, she did and here we are now. Anyway, he was prescribed 5mg of Donepezil to start with as he has a hiatus hernia and it could upset it.... well it did but he’s lied and said it didn’t... now he’s on 10mg It seems since his diagnosis, he’s faded. He’s MORE forgetful, MORE agitated and everything seems so much worse. He’s been talking about suicide. He’s depressed because he can’t drink, he’s too scared to drive so my mom is selling his car.... is just love to hear from people with experience and how I can help him. It’s such a devastating illness thank you for letting me witter on xxxx
 

Louise7

Volunteer Host
Mar 25, 2016
4,693
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Welcome to TP. If you haven't already done so I think you need to speak to your Dad's GP. It could be that the medication has caused the increased forgetfulness and agitation but if he's talking about suicide you really need to let his GP know urgently.
 

Laura1985

New member
Dec 5, 2017
5
0
Welcome to TP. If you haven't already done so I think you need to speak to your Dad's GP. It could be that the medication has caused the increased forgetfulness and agitation but if he's talking about suicide you really need to let his GP know urgently.

Can the medication do that?
I’m at a loss because my mom didn’t speak up when they asked if the medication had affected his hernia at all. I don’t know what to do in that respect.

How Can I help in other ways in general?
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
12,179
0
London

Louise7

Volunteer Host
Mar 25, 2016
4,693
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Mood changes and agitation can be side effects of donepezil so best to get the doctor to check. In terms of helping, do you live near to your Mum and Dad? Being supportive to both of them and helping your Mum out will I'm sure be a great comfort to them both. It isn't easy being a carer and your Mum would probably benefit from some extra help, plus your Dad must be feeling scared/upset about the diagnosis. Are you in the UK? If so your Mum and Dad will be entitled to an assessment of their care needs by social services. Maybe give the dementia help line a call and they'll be able to point you in the direction of other support resources such as local clubs, carers groups etc - 0300 222 1122. Your parents may also be entitled to benefits such as attendance allowance too.

This site is also a great resource so any questions, just ask. If your Mum has internet access maybe point her in the direction of this forum too as it might help to read through the various posts where people are posting all sorts of useful advice.
 

Laura1985

New member
Dec 5, 2017
5
0
Thank you for the advice and links.
I shall be having a good read over the next few days.

I do live very near my parents and am usually around there when I can. I’m not taking my daughter with me as much at the moment as it’s quite distressing for her to see her grandad so forgetful and not understanding (she’s only 7).

My mom works part time so I’m not sure what financial support they can get... is there a salary cut off? I think she needs the space though to be honest sometimes.

Thank you so much again, this does really help x
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
12,179
0
London
There is Attendance Allowance for your Dad which is needs-based and not means-tested. If your mother is earning more than £116 a week after tax she won't be able to claim Carers Allowance unfortunately, but your Dad will be eligible for the Severally Mentally Incapacitated (SMI) council tax disregard, which means your mother would be treated as living on her own in the property thus triggering a single person 25% discount.

You should also look into obtaining power of attorney for his affairs, both financial and health & welfare. This can be filled in online quite easily.

If your Mum needs more help, she has to contact Adult Social Services for a needs assessment for him and a carers assessment for herself. They could provide day care, sitters, carers, respite, telecare gadgets or at the very least send an OT round to check whether there is any need for grabrails or the like.
 

Laura1985

New member
Dec 5, 2017
5
0
There is Attendance Allowance for your Dad which is needs-based and not means-tested. If your mother is earning more than £116 a week after tax she won't be able to claim Carers Allowance unfortunately, but your Dad will be eligible for the Severally Mentally Incapacitated (SMI) council tax disregard, which means your mother would be treated as living on her own in the property thus triggering a single person 25% discount.

You should also look into obtaining power of attorney for his affairs, both financial and health & welfare. This can be filled in online quite easily.

If your Mum needs more help, she has to contact Adult Social Services for a needs assessment for him and a carers assessment for herself. They could provide day care, sitters, carers, respite, telecare gadgets or at the very least send an OT round to check whether there is any need for grabrails or the like.

Power of attorney is already in process, that was one of the first things we did. I’m not sure they are entitled to much because they’re both over 65. It’s so confusing isn’t it xx
 

Laura1985

New member
Dec 5, 2017
5
0
Power of attorney is already in process, that was one of the first things we did. I’m not sure they are entitled to much because they’re both over 65. It’s so confusing isn’t it xx
There is Attendance Allowance for your Dad which is needs-based and not means-tested. If your mother is earning more than £116 a week after tax she won't be able to claim Carers Allowance unfortunately, but your Dad will be eligible for the Severally Mentally Incapacitated (SMI) council tax disregard, which means your mother would be treated as living on her own in the property thus triggering a single person 25% discount.

You should also look into obtaining power of attorney for his affairs, both financial and health & welfare. This can be filled in online quite easily.

If your Mum needs more help, she has to contact Adult Social Services for a needs assessment for him and a carers assessment for herself. They could provide day care, sitters, carers, respite, telecare gadgets or at the very least send an OT round to check whether there is any need for grabrails or the like.

We have the forms for attendance allowance too xx
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
7,342
0
Nottinghamshire
Can the medication do that?
I’m at a loss because my mom didn’t speak up when they asked if the medication had affected his hernia at all. I don’t know what to do in that respect.

Hello Laura 1985,

Yes medication can make ALL the difference. Donepezil didn't agree with my dad either. It made his behaviour unmanageable when he went up to 10mg, although he is ok on 5mg. Definitely talk to his doctor asap.
 

emmags

Registered User
Nov 25, 2017
19
0
Hampshire
Can't really offer any advice as I am going through very similar stuff with my dad and today it has been agreed he doesn't go home from hospital where he is but into care. Just wanted to give you a big virtual hug and say thoughts are with you xx