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Dad won't stop worrying

jelba

Registered User
Aug 1, 2012
227
Huddersfield
Dad condition is starting to get worse we got a nhs social worker coming Monday she going to notice how much he has ditarated over the last 3 months he losing weight he don't want to go nowhere not even for hospital appointments he ask the same question all the time he worries 24/7 about stuff which is sorted he keeps saying he is dying and he wants his mum he got cancer spots on his head which he got a appointment for which he wanted to do for months but refuses to go he got to have another endoscopy as first one did not work but he can't remember even going to the hospital he keeps asking for help and keeps getting tremors now and then gp thinks it's due to his stroke last year don't know what to do as keeps getting angry then forgets he angry I seen same symptoms with my mum and don't think I can care for him without help
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,420
South coast
Im sorry to hear about your dads deterioration.
I dont think Id be able to care for him without help either.
When the SW comes on Monday grab whatever is offered with both hands
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
580
I agree with @canary. It sounds as though you need help - and your Dad needs something to control his anxiety. Good luck on Monday. I hope you are given all the help that you and your Dad need.
 

jelba

Registered User
Aug 1, 2012
227
Huddersfield
Dad very tired seems weak going to let him rest and ring 111 in the morning if he still the same as he worried that he is thinks he is dying as his dad was 74 when he died he can't even make a cup of tea no more I have to quit my job and look after him myself if the social don't do nothing to help us
 

Bella6

Registered User
Jul 25, 2020
20
Hi @jelba - this may sound awful, but if you quit your job then the social worker may not help your Dad. In my experience, they only get involved when they have to because there's no one else helping.
 

Veritas

Registered User
Jun 15, 2020
62
@jelba Whatever you do, do NOT quit your job. You need it - both now and in the future.

It sounds to me like he really needs a proper assessment by health and social care people, and you should insist on this.
 

jelba

Registered User
Aug 1, 2012
227
Huddersfield
Dad woke up 1am made him a cup of tea he having trouble getting undressed he says he scared mum was the same he needs help fast can't leave him on his own
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,798
Kent
Hello @jelba Make sure the Social Worker knows how difficult life is. Tell them you cannot continue providing this level of care.
 

jelba

Registered User
Aug 1, 2012
227
Huddersfield
Had to get a ambulance as been shaking during the night seems very confused might had a tick going to hospital to get it checked out
 

Bella6

Registered User
Jul 25, 2020
20
@jelba I hope your Dad does get the help he needs now. I'm thinking of you and wishing you all the very best. Please stay strong and don't let the hospital send him home too quickly.
 

Louise7

Registered User
Mar 25, 2016
2,385
I hope your dad's OK but this may be an opportunity for you to make sure that he gets the care that he needs. You mentioned in an earlier thread that an ambulance had been called out 4 times last month, and a paramedic said that your dad needed 24hr nursing care. Before they discharge him make sure that they properly assess him, and let the hospital know that you are working and can't provide your dad with 24hr nursing care. As others have said, if you mention that you are thinking of leaving your job to look after him then help is unlikely to be offered.
 

jelba

Registered User
Aug 1, 2012
227
Huddersfield
Dad got cancer in the groin it's his 74 birthday today and got to spend it in hospital he been reffered to a dmt team which deals with cancer. Been told he in there for least a week but could be longer as might be treated as an impaintent. He will need 24 care including medical as he possible might have vascular dementia so don't know if he can come home yet they are concerned about his mobility and not eating if it was not for the coronavirus it could have been sorted much earlier I'm keeping myself busy working and taking to other people in my family checking on my mum down care home making sure she OK I knew months ago as it was possible cancer even told the doctor who brushed it off. Dad not worried as he wants to go before he loses all his memory still not aloud to visit him going to work is helping me as I'm around others just don't want to get depressed at home. Waiting for a dmt meeting to discuss all of dad options
 

jelba

Registered User
Aug 1, 2012
227
Huddersfield
It's been a nightmare getting though to the hospital doctor was going to ring me yesterday but didn't dad can't sleep eat or walk just sitting in chair in hospital no news on if his cancer been confirmed yet
 

PMM1485

Registered User
Dec 16, 2018
40
I'm so sorry. It must be so hard not being with him at such a dreadful time. Does the hospital have a tablet so you can at least have video calls? No substitute for the hugs and reassurance of the family but it might help a little bit. X
 

jelba

Registered User
Aug 1, 2012
227
Huddersfield
Having major issues with the hospital they won't tell me what going on but dad been told its cancer but they tell my dad who can't remember what they said he says he comming home tomorrow but got to look at it we're he going I think they are describing a hospice but no one tells me what's going on went up there but no one to ask and Dr are doing induction today and are very busy he going he very unstable surely he is going I think it's a hospice as an outpatient and not come home he very weak and with terminal cancer he thinks still not been confirmed as very worried rang social she going to find out what he happening
 

PMM1485

Registered User
Dec 16, 2018
40
Do you have a health Power of Attorney? If so they have to tell you. If not, you should get one, although appreciate that will be very difficult in your current situation. The Alzheimer's helpline might be able to assist on how you go about it.