• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can be found in our area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

Dad with mixed dementia and terminal bladder cancer

Jlou

New member
Nov 2, 2020
2
0
Hi everyone, first time posting here. My dad has mixed dementia coupled with terminal bladder cancer. He needs to pee all the time but doesn’t know where the loo is mostly. He knows his loved ones still but barely knows himself and doesn’t recognise the house he lives in. My parents moved a year ago. My mum is his primary carer but she is disabled, unable to walk at all and uses a mobility scooter to get around. She’s also suffered two heart attacks and now heart function only 30%. God just writing that down sounds unbelievable. Add to that the corona virus. I know mum can’t look after dad . My brother and I are doing all we can, I’m working from there during the day but my mum is still exhausted. I can’t bear to lose them both. I know a care home is the right thing but it’s such a hard decision in these crazy times to say goodbye to someone who still knows you, to live with strangers and die alone. But if we wait, I might lose my mum too!! Any advice is much appreciated x
 

Louise7

Volunteer Host
Mar 25, 2016
3,001
0
Hello @Jlou welcome to the forum, you'll find this a friendly place with lots of support and advice available. Sorry to hear of your family situation and it sounds as though you are all under pressure and need some help and support at the moment. Does your mum have any outside help coming in to help out with caring for your dad? Social services can provide a care assessment for your dad and a carers assessment for your mum, and if there are any McMillan nurses in the area it's worth contacting them too as they may be able to offer help/support at home. I've posted below the number for the Dementia Connect support line, who are really helpful. They are open during the weekend and will be able to point you in the direction of support available in your local area. Please keep posting to let us know how you are doing.

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/dementia-connect-support-line
 

Just me

Registered User
Nov 17, 2013
502
0
Hi @Jlou, I’m sorry your having such a difficult time, I know how hard it is getting help
The Dementia Connect Support Line mentioned by Louise is a really good starting point and I’m sure they can help.
Good luck and let us know how you are doing.
 

Jlou

New member
Nov 2, 2020
2
0
Thanks everyone. We have a dementia nurse for dad and we have night sitters. I’m trying to be there in the day but it’s hard working from there and watching dad. I’ll check out the numbers you’ve given, thanks