Hi I am a new member to the forum and looking for any help/advice concerning my dad of 83.
I have for the past 3 years had to deal with my mum who has dementia and lives in a care home. Back in January my dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Dad's condition has deteriorated quite rapidly. His memory is terrible, not eating properly and unfortunately drinking alcohol every day. He has extremely poor cognition and in the past 15 months has had a number of falls which have seen him hospitalized on several occasions with multiple injuries. Each fall sadly has been as a result of his excessive drinking. He does not accept that his drinking is a danger. We have asked the club where he drinks to only serve him 2 drinks but this isn't working. He is not eating properly which is adding to the problem. He is spending large sums of money each week and again refuses to accept the dangers of his actions. I am concerned for his safety as he frequently withdrawers large sums of money from cash machines. We have spoken to our local dementia support team, who have spoken about the dangers to my dad but unfortunately he chooses to ignore their advice. We are desperately trying to allow him to continue to live independently. We have a carer going in twice a day, we do our upmost to try and get him to eat but this is a constant battle. Sadly the alcohol isn't a new problem. Mum and dad's social life always revolved around their local social club. As the Alzheimer's progresses trying to explain the consequences to my dad become more challenging. In an attempt to try and manage the situation I took my dad's bank cards off him. I hoped that I could try and get him to agree to me getting money out for him and basically giving him just enough money to buy a couple of drinks each evening. My dad became extremely angry and aggressive. I have given him the cards back. Sadly I feel that I am now waiting for the next crisis. We have discussed care homes with him, having a live-in carer both of which he has refused. At this moment in time dad is deemed to still have some mental capacity so I therefore know from experience with my mum that even if we got him into a care home they would struggle to deal with the fact that he would still want to drink each day. I just seem to have run out of ideas as to how to cope with him. If anyone has any ideas I would gladly welcome them. Thanks
I have for the past 3 years had to deal with my mum who has dementia and lives in a care home. Back in January my dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Dad's condition has deteriorated quite rapidly. His memory is terrible, not eating properly and unfortunately drinking alcohol every day. He has extremely poor cognition and in the past 15 months has had a number of falls which have seen him hospitalized on several occasions with multiple injuries. Each fall sadly has been as a result of his excessive drinking. He does not accept that his drinking is a danger. We have asked the club where he drinks to only serve him 2 drinks but this isn't working. He is not eating properly which is adding to the problem. He is spending large sums of money each week and again refuses to accept the dangers of his actions. I am concerned for his safety as he frequently withdrawers large sums of money from cash machines. We have spoken to our local dementia support team, who have spoken about the dangers to my dad but unfortunately he chooses to ignore their advice. We are desperately trying to allow him to continue to live independently. We have a carer going in twice a day, we do our upmost to try and get him to eat but this is a constant battle. Sadly the alcohol isn't a new problem. Mum and dad's social life always revolved around their local social club. As the Alzheimer's progresses trying to explain the consequences to my dad become more challenging. In an attempt to try and manage the situation I took my dad's bank cards off him. I hoped that I could try and get him to agree to me getting money out for him and basically giving him just enough money to buy a couple of drinks each evening. My dad became extremely angry and aggressive. I have given him the cards back. Sadly I feel that I am now waiting for the next crisis. We have discussed care homes with him, having a live-in carer both of which he has refused. At this moment in time dad is deemed to still have some mental capacity so I therefore know from experience with my mum that even if we got him into a care home they would struggle to deal with the fact that he would still want to drink each day. I just seem to have run out of ideas as to how to cope with him. If anyone has any ideas I would gladly welcome them. Thanks