Dad went AWOL today

elaineo2

Registered User
Jul 6, 2007
945
leigh lancashire
Hi everyone,after a post last week whereby a members dad went missing for a few hours,i thought this won't happen to us yet.Today i bumped into Mum at the post office after i had picked Lew up from school.We had a general chat and then she told me that whilst shopping with dad,she stopped at a stall on the market to buy something,turned round and he was gone.Luckily dad is well known in our town and on the market.She frantically searched and asked the traders if they had seen him.To no avail.She then decided to search the town and found him stood outside the market.He said he wanted some air!mum said i need bloody oxygen never mind air!all was well at the end of the day but a close eye is needed in future.love elainex
 

jenniferpa

Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
39,448
The trouble is, it's difficult to judge when this is an issue in that he wouldn't remember where he was and why he was there, or if it's simply the sort of thing that happens to everyone. I mean to say, I'm sure we have all at some time got separated from a shopping partner, and provided it's not a child, it's irritating but not worrisome. When you're dealing with someone with dementia, however, you have to assume that at some level they have forgotten the purpose of trip (or even that they were with someone) at least momentarily.
 

elaineo2

Registered User
Jul 6, 2007
945
leigh lancashire
DEar Jennifer,i am not sure wether dad made the excuse of "needing some air" as a decoy of forgetting where he was.albeit to say that it is something he hasn't done before,but something we will be aware of in the future.love elainex
 

sue38

Registered User
Mar 6, 2007
10,854
51
Wigan, Lancs
Hi Elaine,

Sorry to hear about the panic you had yesterday. As you know my Dad went missing on Saturday and I had to complete a missing persons report with the Police.

Even though I can give a full description e.g. hair colour, build, height, colour of eyes the problem was that there was nothing I could say that would make my Dad stand out. He is very fit and by all accounts was walking with some purpose so that if anyone saw him there would be nothing unusual that might warrant a call to the Police.

The Police wanted some information that would immediately identify him. They asked about jewellery - just a watch; piercings?...er no...well none that I know of:eek: ; hairstyle? he doesn't have a mohican or anything? :D Scars? No. Dentures? No, oh but he does have a big gap between his front teeth. This only came to me by chance, so maybe it is worth compiling this sort of description now and not trying to do it when you are going out of your mind.

I have now ordered the ID card which gives his name, his condition and all our phone numbers. I also looked at the AS factsheet on wandering and there is some good advice on there, including making sure you carry a photo of them that you can give to the police. When I got the message he was missing I just jumped in the car and never thought to take a photo of him.
 

elaineo2

Registered User
Jul 6, 2007
945
leigh lancashire
Thanks Sue,after what happened to your dad last week,i have taken on board the I.D issue.I spoke to mum about it today and she agrees.He has always carried his driving licence with him,but it doesn't have a photo on it like they do these days.This is my next job.I will do anything to keep him safe,I even thought i might get him chipped.LOL.Joking apart this is an issue that i would imagine most carers are afraid of and the I.D card is a good idea.love elainex
 

mocha

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
176
85
Lancs, England
Lost

This reminds me of when Ron first started showing symptoms which you try to not to accept at first.
He had offered to take some shopping back to the car whilst I chose some Birthday cards and just disappeared for quite a while. When I did see him up the street he looked so lost and bewildered, he had forgotten where I was.
Such a lot happens in the early stages that you just ignore because dementia is the last thing on your mind.
In some ways I think it is good not to know what the future holds and now I believe they can predict at what age you are going to die :eek: :eek: . NO THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I would rather stay ignorant.

Love Aileen
 

CHESS

Registered User
May 14, 2006
136
LANCS.
Some time ago, I subscribed to one of the "Medic Alert" schemes for Mum and myself. I just got the plain disc on a chain for me, but paid extra for a smart-looking silver disc for my Mum. My Mum was not at all pleased when she received hers, but fine once I showed her mine, and explained that I thought everyone should wear one, in case of an accident. My Mum's just says something about her having a poor memory, but gives a number to ring for further details. I would be immediately contacted. My details include the fact that I am sole carer for my Mum, so my sister/uncle would then be contacted, if necessary. Thankfully, my Mum has never removed it (yet!) and, on the rare occasions we are not out together, it does ease a little of the worry. I think I pay about £25 each per year.

I hope this may be of some help.
 

mocha

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
176
85
Lancs, England
re.Talisman

I bought Ron an SOS Talisman. He was never one to wear jewellery but I found out they did one on a leather strap which resembles a watch.
It has a screw opening and a strip of paper which you fill in with all your details, as it happens we never needed it but it was reassuring that Ron had identity on him.
You can find them on the web.

Aileen
 

Taffy

Registered User
Apr 15, 2007
1,314
CHESS said:
I subscribed to one of the "Medic Alert" schemes for Mum
I also subscribe to this scheme for mum and I choose the bracelet, it had dementia engraved on the disc, when mum noticed one day the "DEMENTIA" she was convinced it belonged to someone else because that wasn't her name and she wanted it given back. These Id's are very helpful in case of a emergency or someone been lost and confused.

Hi Elaine, your poor mum I am glad that your dad was found safe and well. Regards Taffy.
 

tassie devil

Registered User
Aug 15, 2006
15
That's really good advice about getting the id card which also states to condition. I may sound ignorant but where do you get these?

Mum was diagnosed just over a year ago and at the moment is very up and down. She is forgetting to take her tablets - has daily visits now from Social Services to make sure she's taking them. They can also check and make sure she is still safe enough to live on her own. They popped round late yesterday afternoon to have a chat but there was no answer! When you get a call to say that your mind just goes into panic mode, luckily she was fine - she'd been to Tesco with the shopping trolley and was picking dandelions on the way home!!!! We haven't said anything as this would upset her too much.

It's a difficult thing to deal with, you want her to have a normal a life as possible, but the time you spend with her you feel like your checking to make sure she's coping ok.
 

CHESS

Registered User
May 14, 2006
136
LANCS.
Hi, tassie devil,

If you send me a private message, I shall gladly give you contact details for the scheme I use.