Hi I am new to the forum although have been reading and soaking up all the valuable advice on here for a while. I am aged 52, work full time as a PA, have four children and one grandson. My brother and I are also now managing our parents businesses as they are now not in a position to do so themselves. My Dad is aged 80 and was officially diagnosed with Mixed dementia (Vasc/Alz) in 2012 although had been displaying symptoms for probably 4/5 years previous. My brilliant mum has been caring for him at home all this time but things have gradually deteriorated and were brought to a head by mum being taken quite ill at the beginning of the year. As she had been dealing with all his care and medication it was time something had to be done. Dad refused to allow carers into their home and After lots of research and heart searching we took the view that he needed to be in a care home and found a lovely one just 10 mins away from home. Mum is now under investigation by a consultant and her relief now that Dad is safe and being cared for and she can finally sleep at night in her own bed is so good to see. Dad was admitted to the care home two weeks ago yesterday and initially seemed to settle well, however for the past three days has become more agitated and is constantly packing suitcase and wanting to go home, is now refusing to eat and take medication, physically he is still very mobile and is now being verbally aggressive to the staff. Mum visited today with my brother and he was vile to her, accusing her of dumping him here, he was going to drive home, no car and no licence, ok so he was going to walk home etc etc I know that this is the illness but it is so hard – my logical side says that this is totally the correct thing to do and there is no way that he can go home but I just feel so guilty. The care home staff have been lovely, they have spoken to his GP who has requested a urine test in case he has a UTI although how they will manage that I have no idea as he won’t let anybody near him, they have also requested a Mental Health Nurse to come and see him. Is this a common reaction – I am so worried that they will want us to take him out of the care home. He also had a stroke in 2007 and is on medication for his heart so it is a little worrying that he is refusing that as well. I know there aren’t really any answers just wanted to get it all out don’t want to worry Mum as being strong for her and nobody else really seems to understand and just says it is the right thing to do. Just feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all at the moment. Currently waiting for update from Care Home.