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Dad staying in bed.

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
2,626
0
cornwall
It's my first day at dad's today.He has declined to get up.This is the 5 th day.He has lost more weight and the pillows are beginning to look bigger than him. He is not drinking a lot but I have no idea of overnight output as again it is not written down. He also has been coughing up phlegm. This started last week. He is still having the carers in the am and to do a continence care at about 7pm.He is a lot quieter these days but looks ill now. It will be interesting if he gets up tomorrow.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
18,833
0
South coast
You knew this day would come, didnt you @TNJJ ?

Do you think he is at End of Life now?
Perhaps have a word with the GP as if they think he is at EOL they could prescribe the "Just in Case" box (painkillers and other medication to keep him pain-free and comfortable) and can organise District Nurses etc to visit.
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
2,626
0
cornwall
You knew this day would come, didnt you @TNJJ ?

Do you think he is at End of Life now?
Perhaps have a word with the GP as if they think he is at EOL they could prescribe the "Just in Case" box (painkillers and other medication to keep him pain-free and comfortable) and can organise District Nurses etc to visit.
Hi. Yes I did. He can get out but has declined 5 days in a row.The District Nurses have been and changed his catheter today. I doubt he will be here next year but not EOL at the moment. He is still holding his head up and feeding himself. Just doesn't want to eat or drink much. Today he has drunk 600 MLS. His clothes are hanging off him.
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
2,626
0
cornwall
Well another day in bed. I don't think he will be getting out again. He apparently finds his recliner uncomfortable now. He is still holding his head up but he has got weaker. Today I could see it more. He has only drunk 200 MLS.He only ate porridge and yoghurt for breakfast but only half a main meal.A small one.Only a few nibbles of cake throughout the day. He is quite with it mentally today. Not so confused as yesterday. His urine is dark amber.He is also moaning about being moved. He is leaning a lot to the right today. He is also quite breathless. He doesn't appear to be in pain .He did make me laugh though . I wasn't quite sure what to make of it. When I told him he was leaning, he said" Going towards the light"! I found that odd.He is staying in bed he says as it is less hassle.He is not so keen on the carers moving him.At least they are only with him x2 a day now.He has been watching dvds of Open All Hours all day.. Bless him.
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
2,626
0
cornwall
@TNJJ
I really think you should do as @canary suggest re the just in case box.
I wish you strength to get through this.
I'm emailing the doctor on Monday about things so I will include all the things happening.No doctor comes out so it will be the surgeries paramedic.Thank you.
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
3,346
0
So sorry @TNJJ I think you have been an absolute wonder through all of this but now your poor dad has probably had enough. It's all very sad but I hope this does not go on too long for both your sakes.
 

Quite contrary

Registered User
Jan 5, 2020
323
0
Ilford, Essex
@TNJJ
My immediate thought on reading "leaning towards the light" was of houseplants! You have to keep turning them because they grow towards the light. Reminded me of the sorts of things my Dad used to say. If asked if he was alright, he would say "down one side"! I guess it was his way of being lighthearted, so maybe it was same with your Dad.
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
2,626
0
cornwall
@TNJJ
My immediate thought on reading "leaning towards the light" was of houseplants! You have to keep turning them because they grow towards the light. Reminded me of the sorts of things my Dad used to say. If asked if he was alright, he would say "down one side"! I guess it was his way of being lighthearted, so maybe it was same with your Dad.
It might have been. Dad has never had much of a sense of humour. But now he's not being pulled around so much it could be. He was good with me though . He let me move him and wash him without too much moaning.
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
2,626
0
cornwall
So sorry @TNJJ I think you have been an absolute wonder through all of this but now your poor dad has probably had enough. It's all very sad but I hope this does not go on too long for both your sakes.
I hate to say this but me too. I encourage dad to eat and drink but if he doesn't want to so be it. The carers are nagging him to drink but it very rarely happens tbh.
 

Quite contrary

Registered User
Jan 5, 2020
323
0
Ilford, Essex
It might have been. Dad has never had much of a sense of humour. But now he's not being pulled around so much it could be. He was good with me though . He let me move him and wash him without too much moaning.
We always thought the same about my Dad but he did in his own way. So pleased he was good with you today. Treasure every little thing you can x
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
2,626
0
cornwall
This is just an add on. Mainly for me. Dad has not eaten or drunk anything given by the carers this am.He is again lying on top of the bed fully dressed. That winds me up. We used to do it in the care home for people getting up so I know why they do it. Dad is on day 7 of not getting out of bed and getting weaker by the day. I have asked him but he has declined. I only worry when he is on the bed that if he has a poonamea that it will go through the duvet. So I will change him and put him under myself.He has drunk a coffee that I made with thickner in .Only 160 MLS. I have left him with an ensure. Yet another day of Open all hours. I'm staying over tonight and tomorrow.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
12,561
0
Southampton
This is just an add on. Mainly for me. Dad has not eaten or drunk anything given by the carers this am.He is again lying on top of the bed fully dressed. That winds me up. We used to do it in the care home for people getting up so I know why they do it. Dad is on day 7 of not getting out of bed and getting weaker by the day. I have asked him but he has declined. I only worry when he is on the bed that if he has a poonamea that it will go through the duvet. So I will change him and put him under myself.He has drunk a coffee that I made with thickner in .Only 160 MLS. I have left him with an ensure. Yet another day of Open all hours. I'm staying over tonight and tomorrow.
good old arkwright. wouldnt he be more comfortable in pjs or shorts and t-shirt. you are doing a brilliant job. better than the carers i expect.
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
2,626
0
cornwall
good old arkwright. wouldnt he be more comfortable in pjs or shorts and t-shirt. you are doing a brilliant job. better than the carers i expect.
He would yes. I will tackle him later. He is hating to be moved. I'm also going to take his BP
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
18,833
0
South coast
Dos he have an air mattress?
If not, perhaps contact the District Nurses about this. You do not want pressure sores.
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
2,626
0
cornwall
i dont think any of them like being disturbed and changed etc.
No. That's true.
i dont think any of them like being disturbed and changed etc.

Thats good. It does sound like its the best place for him
I did ask him again if he wanted. He said he ought to but I could tell he didn't. He now says he is staying in bed. Bed is the best place tbh. He wants some peace so I said I'd give him an hour before intake his trousers off and do personal care. He is very slow at everything today.