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Dad seems so much happier at new place

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Elise, Sep 10, 2005.

  1. Elise

    Elise Registered User

    May 12, 2005
    23
    Hi all
    Dad has been in the new home for just over 2 weeks now, after feeling so anxious as to if he would settle, and so far i have to say after every visit i am happy as he seems happy. He seems to be brighter and i can communicate much better with him, he is laughing and joking more as in some way he used to. Today i asked if he had seen the occupational therapist, he saw her yesterday apparently she was pleased with him and he had done a drawing on his own with lost of colours and in general a bright picture. I don't want to sound too optimistic to soon but maybe he will settle and reach a stage that everyone is comfortable with especially him. I know that this feeling i have at the moment may not last and he will have his bad days but for such a long time now i have felt so helpless and sad because he seemed so sad. i just want to hold onto it as long as possible. Silly as it may sound i keep thinking that i will get him back even though i know never to how he used to be but anything is better than nothing for the moment. I said to him today how well he looked and his eyes seemed to have the blue colour back in them, he responded with a big smile as if to say he knows. This home is NHS run and is nice but they are still understaffed and need so much support with funding and it angers me to think that the government will not put more money into such a good cause as this illness. There is a lot more to be put into these homes to help patients but the money is just not there. It makes me want to scream!

    Thanks for listening,
    Elise
     
  2. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    639
    West Sussex
    I am so pleased for you that your dad has settled.

    I know first hand that it is a tough decision to take to hand a precious loved one over to relative strangers and it does make you feel guilty at the time, but with hindsight it is sometimes the only option we have, and when it works it gives us lovely times with them with none of the exhaustion and anxiety we had before so both the AD sufferer and ourselves benefit hugely.

    I still dream of winning the lottery and being able to have a home for us to live in with mum and a team of happy carers.

    Back in the real world I,too, am digusted sometimes with the funding for our so vulnerable AD sufferers, and the elderly in general.

    I suppose being older and ill is not seen as a vote winner so the powers that be throw money at other "fashionable" illnesses.

    I hope you dad has many happy times with you and so pleased you can at last relax a bit, knowing he is safe with people who care about as well as for him. That is the key to good residential care in my experience.

    Kathleen
    xx
     
  3. daughter

    daughter Registered User

    Mar 16, 2005
    824
    Hi Elise,

    So pleased to hear your news about your Dad settling well into his new Home. The worry is always there, that it won't last, but that's what makes each moment they're happy seem special. Sometimes Dad acts just the way he used to, before AD, and, even after 10 months, Mum still thinks about bringing him back home. Then he'll start some of the AD behaviours and Mum knows it just wouldn't be a sensible or practial idea.

    Regarding the funding side, I agree about the understaffing etc. but this does not just apply to NHS homes. Dad is in a BUPA Care Home and it's the same story. I guess everyone's trying to cut costs... :mad: but I'll stop now with the politics!

    Enjoy your visits with your Dad and long may he continue to be happy in his new surroundings. It's certainly a relief when they're relatively happy, isn't it?
     

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