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Dad seeing mum since she died.

garfield3

Registered User
Jun 30, 2018
200
Dear good people,

Hope you’re all surviving these strange days and your own journeys at the moment are not too trying.

I have a question. Some background first. Mum died, last year 9 Months ago, dad was with her at the end . (His only brother, who was left ,died in February last year too, 94yrs) She was 94, they’d been married 54yrs. He’s 88yrs and mum was 94 yrs and in a nursing home with dementia. Dad’s on his own I’m his only family. The Covid situation is not helping and he’s not meeting people or going out. He’s got OCD now over Covid.

Finally, the question!, Dad’s said he’s been see mum at the kitchen table , but not clear detail of her face. He’s got macular degeneration , too.I think he feels he’s forgetting her. Is this normal and I feel very worried.

Thanks. Stay safe. Xx
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,689
South coast
Hallucinations are actually quite common with macular degeneration - its called Charles Bonnet Syndrome - and if you add the grief of losing his wife, plus the lockdown situation, Im not really surprised that he thinks that hes seen her.

Im not sure what to suggest. Would he find it helpful to start going again somewhere - maybe a cafe where you and he could sit outside? Ive done this with OH today and it felt quite safe as the tables were socially distanced.
 

garfield3

Registered User
Jun 30, 2018
200
Hallucinations are actually quite common with macular degeneration - its called Charles Bonnet Syndrome - and if you add the grief of losing his wife, plus the lockdown situation, Im not really surprised that he thinks that hes seen her.

Im not sure what to suggest. Would he find it helpful to start going again somewhere - maybe a cafe where you and he could sit outside? Ive done this with OH today and it felt quite safe as the tables were socially distanced.
Thanks ever so much for reply. I could handle mum with dementia, the good , the bad and the ugly, but this??!! He won’t really go anywhere. He goes to visit mum at the cemetery. I live in Spain and planned to get home in April. That didn’t happen!!

The bottom line is I think dad’s not coping. Hubby has said he has seen ghosts from an old French woman to his friend and granddad. I just don’t know.

I’ll look up the syndrome you mentioned.

Thanks.x