Hi everyone
I have been following the Forum for a couple of years but have never posted until now. Your comments and advice would be so helpful.
My Dad (74) was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about 3 years ago but was showing clear signs for a couple of years before that. My brother and I care for him in his own home (my brother lives with him - he has mental health issues and never moved out and I live 5 mins walk away). Carers come in each morning for Dad, to help bathe and dress. Once a week we get respite care in so my brother can go out for 4 hours. I spend around 8 hours a week with Dad and handle all household matters/legal/health/finance etc
Dad had pneumonia earlier this year and this sparked a sudden decline into incontinence, an increase in anxiety and him not being able to be left alone. He recovered well from the illness (he is physically strong) and we got into a routine with care coming into the home for the first time.
Recently, Dad has started getting very down, now usually about twice a week, saying he wants to "die" or "disappear" ...and then he takes to his bed. Sometimes this is accompanied by shouting but not violence. Often it is connected to an incident that may highlight his decline (problems with his pullup pants, or following the visit of a carer). Yesterday he said he was a "nuisance" and "wanted to go". This usually happens in the late afternoon.
Dad has always been a positive person, seeking the good in life and coping so well, despite everything he has had to deal with. We have always been very close and could always find something to laugh about. Now this is a struggle, he is very low and to be honest I completely understand why he feels the way he does. But I want him to feel contented and I don't know how.
As I say, my brother shares caring for Dad with me (around my job + kids) and the help we have in each day. They are both becoming increasingly anxious and down. I am very worried for both of them and am not sure what to do for the best.
We love Dad so much and want him to stay in his own home as long as possible (this is where he feels safest at the moment) and we want him to be happy.
Can anyone please share any experience they have of this behaviour/being very down/wanting to die - and any tips on how to handle it please? I have raised it with Dad's Dementia Nurse but no help forthcoming.
Thank you in advance for your help
I have been following the Forum for a couple of years but have never posted until now. Your comments and advice would be so helpful.
My Dad (74) was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about 3 years ago but was showing clear signs for a couple of years before that. My brother and I care for him in his own home (my brother lives with him - he has mental health issues and never moved out and I live 5 mins walk away). Carers come in each morning for Dad, to help bathe and dress. Once a week we get respite care in so my brother can go out for 4 hours. I spend around 8 hours a week with Dad and handle all household matters/legal/health/finance etc
Dad had pneumonia earlier this year and this sparked a sudden decline into incontinence, an increase in anxiety and him not being able to be left alone. He recovered well from the illness (he is physically strong) and we got into a routine with care coming into the home for the first time.
Recently, Dad has started getting very down, now usually about twice a week, saying he wants to "die" or "disappear" ...and then he takes to his bed. Sometimes this is accompanied by shouting but not violence. Often it is connected to an incident that may highlight his decline (problems with his pullup pants, or following the visit of a carer). Yesterday he said he was a "nuisance" and "wanted to go". This usually happens in the late afternoon.
Dad has always been a positive person, seeking the good in life and coping so well, despite everything he has had to deal with. We have always been very close and could always find something to laugh about. Now this is a struggle, he is very low and to be honest I completely understand why he feels the way he does. But I want him to feel contented and I don't know how.
As I say, my brother shares caring for Dad with me (around my job + kids) and the help we have in each day. They are both becoming increasingly anxious and down. I am very worried for both of them and am not sure what to do for the best.
We love Dad so much and want him to stay in his own home as long as possible (this is where he feels safest at the moment) and we want him to be happy.
Can anyone please share any experience they have of this behaviour/being very down/wanting to die - and any tips on how to handle it please? I have raised it with Dad's Dementia Nurse but no help forthcoming.
Thank you in advance for your help