Hello,
I’ve just found this group and hoping for some advice as Dad has been in hospital for the last 5 weeks after another fall.
He’s very frail with no muscle and the doctor has confirmed he is likely to have vascular dementia as his short term memory has now gone almost completely. Ie can’t remember recital examination straight afterwards - sorry about the detail but for me this highlights the extent to which his short term memory has gone.
When he’s good he understands what he is being told and is very clear he wants to go home and to die at home
He’s capable of making good decisions in the moment but can’t remember them and has told us he is going to sleep in his room upstairs and not downstairs as he’s fed up of being told what to do.
The huge risk is that if he wakes and tries to go to the loo he either falls down an open staircase or falls over the railings along the landing. It’s a big old fashioned house with no way of reducing these risks.
How do I approach him and help him understand the risks are too great and persuade him to sleep in the living room which will be a constant reminder to him that things are not as they were and he is getting to the end of his life.
The second told him this and he understands but has always put off making decisions all his life and has a very fixed mindset.
This is a real emotional hurdle for me balancing his choices and free will with the reality of the situation where we need to keep him safe. He’s used to having his own way so can be quite unpleasant sometimes with my
Mum.
I’ve just found this group and hoping for some advice as Dad has been in hospital for the last 5 weeks after another fall.
He’s very frail with no muscle and the doctor has confirmed he is likely to have vascular dementia as his short term memory has now gone almost completely. Ie can’t remember recital examination straight afterwards - sorry about the detail but for me this highlights the extent to which his short term memory has gone.
When he’s good he understands what he is being told and is very clear he wants to go home and to die at home
He’s capable of making good decisions in the moment but can’t remember them and has told us he is going to sleep in his room upstairs and not downstairs as he’s fed up of being told what to do.
The huge risk is that if he wakes and tries to go to the loo he either falls down an open staircase or falls over the railings along the landing. It’s a big old fashioned house with no way of reducing these risks.
How do I approach him and help him understand the risks are too great and persuade him to sleep in the living room which will be a constant reminder to him that things are not as they were and he is getting to the end of his life.
The second told him this and he understands but has always put off making decisions all his life and has a very fixed mindset.
This is a real emotional hurdle for me balancing his choices and free will with the reality of the situation where we need to keep him safe. He’s used to having his own way so can be quite unpleasant sometimes with my
Mum.