1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

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Dad recently diagnosed

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by jaydon, Oct 7, 2005.

  1. jaydon

    jaydon Registered User

    Aug 13, 2005
    3
    Hello everyone,

    This is the first time that I have posted, though I have been reading for a few weeks. My Dad was diagnosed about a month ago - he's 65 and they think he may have had it for five years already. My sister (age 31) and I (age 35) are devastated.

    Our Mum and Dad divorced some time ago and Dad is remarried. We have a close relationship with our step-mum, but feel a bit nervous at the moment, as she immediately started talking about Power of Attorney. We are not sure what implications this might have for the future.

    Dad has been told that he is in the early stages of Alheimer's - he has short-term memory loss, find it's difficult to think through the stages of completing any DIY tasks and hates being alone, as he's lost all of his self-confidence. Apart from these problems, and forgetting words, he seems to have all his faculties. He repeats himself, not because he has forgotten that he has said something, but because he seems to need to say everything several times before he moves on. However, we can still have a good discussion with him about past events or politics or any topic that takes our fancy, and he seems to have all his reasoning powers and an awful lot of general knowledge.

    Could any one give us any information/advice about the implications of our step-mum having Power of Attorney? Also, what would happen if our step-mum died before Dad and he had deteriorated to the stage where he couldn't make decisions for himself? Who would have Power of Attorney then?

    We would be very grateful for any help.

    Jaydon
     
  2. rummy

    rummy Registered User

    Jul 15, 2005
    700
    Oklahoma,USA
    Hi Jaydon and welcome to TP. My situation is somewhat similar but it is my Mom with AD and I have a step Dad. He has POA to make all decisions for my Mom for health and finances and I have POA in the event something happens to him. I'm in the US so laws may differ but I bet there is something similar where you live.
    It sounds like your Dad is in very early stages but it is a good idea to take care of these thing while he can participate and state his wishes.
    Is he on any medication to slow the progress down like Aricept?
    I would just tell you to read everything you can on AD, on being a caretaker and lean on your support system which includes TP.
    Take care of yourself too, this can get stressful and it is easy to get overwhelmed.
    We are all in this together as everyone here has insight, knowledge and most of all, alot of heart to share themselves.

    Debbie
     
  3. Sandy

    Sandy Registered User

    Mar 23, 2005
    6,847
    Hi Jaydon,

    Welcome to Talking Point (TP).

    Sorry to hear about your dad - your story has many familar elements. At least you know that TP can be another resource to support you and your family.

    The Alzheimer's Society has a fact sheet on Enduring Power of Attorney which you can find here:

    http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/After_diagnosis/Sorting_out_your_money/info_epa.htm

    It does say that more than one person can be appointed as attorney and that the powers can be exercised together or together and separately .

    Take care,

    Sandy
     
  4. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    639
    West Sussex
    Hello Jaydon

    I am really sorry to hear about your Dad.

    My Mum has Alzheimers and Dad gave enduring power of attorney jointly to my husband and Mums brother.

    Since Dads sudden death,they have made decisions jointly on her behalf to make sure she has the best possible care.

    This works well as they both have her best interests at heart and want her to have the best possible care she needs now she is so vulnerable.

    Kathleen
    xxx
     
  5. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Your step-Mum is correct in suggesting an EPA sooner rather than when it is too late.

    I recommend setting up a joint one where both attorneys require to agree on whatever action is taken.

    As has already been said, do check the AS fact sheet.
     

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