@Linbrusco
Reading your story has helped me to realise that I am not the only one in this situation. Thank you so much.
My mum has moderate/severe dementia and is refusing to wash or even change her clothes (which she wears day in day out and also sleeps in). Often sleeps in coat too. Wears coat at home with gloves on even when summer. Heating on in the house too! All blood tests normal so no reason there for this other than the dementia.
My dad has always been an 'ostrich' about anything he can't cope with and although he says he knows mum has dementia he treats and speaks to her as though she hasn't. He is not a patient man and so I think mum is now fighting back for all the years he bullied her. All in all a nightmare.
The memory nurse also thinks my dad has mild dementia but he refuses to get tested as he doesn't think he has a problem and thinks he will be stopped from driving. Even though we have explained that this is not an automatic outcome. To be honest his driving does worry me....
Both have refused care until just before Xmas. Mum is urinary incontinent, won't wear pads (or even underwear) and she and the house smell terrible. It breaks my heart to see them like this as my mum was so house proud and was always smart and clean.
I get frustrated and cross with my dad that he has just given up trying to help her. I am hoping that when the carers start coming in that things will improve. All in all affecting my mental health too.