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Dad Keeps Taking his Trousers off

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Long-Suffering, Aug 19, 2015.

  1. Long-Suffering

    Long-Suffering Registered User

    Jul 6, 2015
    426
    He's been doing this for a few weeks now. It started months ago with him getting stressed about not being able to get his trousers off in time when he wanted to go to the toilet. He stopped worrying about that, but now mum keeps finding him with no trousers on.

    Sometimes it's at night - he gets up in the early hours, gets dressed in everything except his trousers and sits in an armchair reading.

    During the day, he will undo his trousers and stand up so that they fall down round his ankles. This drives mum mad and they have arguments about it. She pulls them up and fastens them, he undoes them and the same thing happens again.

    Yesterday, he went to the toilet (by himself for once!) Mum fell asleep and then woke up and he wasn't back in the living room yet. She panicked and went to the toilet. She knocked on the door and he came out with his trousers rolled up under his arm, giggling madly. She asked him what he'd been doing in the toilet for so long, but he said he'd only been in there a minute or so and he wouldn't put his trousers back on. She checked them to see if they were soiled, but they were fine.

    It's all very mystifying. We don't know if there is some kind of recognised "dementia" reason behind this or if it is just the latest odd turning of his mind. Has anyone else had similar experiences?

    LS
     
  2. CAL28

    CAL28 Registered User

    Aug 25, 2014
    11
    Dorset
    Hi, don't have a lot of advice except that have you tried pull up trousers eg. Jogging bottoms. I work with people with dementia and a lot of the men find these so much easier to use.Hope this helps.
     
  3. Long-Suffering

    Long-Suffering Registered User

    Jul 6, 2015
    426
    Hi Cal,

    Thanks for the tip. I bought him some pull-up elasticated waisted trousers after another tip from folks on TP.

    The trouble is, dad no longer has his own opinions about most things, so instead he just parrots what mum says. So she opened the parcel when they arrived and said "Oh I think these trousers are a bit heavy", so without even looking at them or trying them on he immediately just repeated "They're too heavy! I don't like them!" and threw them on the ground.

    So the next couple of days she tries telling him he loves these new elasticated trousers, and one minute he will agree, then the next minute change his mind because she already told him they are too heavy and secondly the drawstring waist "looks like a bow for girls!" :rolleyes:

    The upshot is he loves/hates these bloody elasticated trousers, mum goes on and on about them, and I wish I had never bought them! He doesn't wear them - mum keeps them "safe " for him.

    LS
     
  4. CAL28

    CAL28 Registered User

    Aug 25, 2014
    11
    Dorset
    I'm so sorry they didn't work Its always hard trying to introduce new things. Would you be able to suggest them again or will not be possible?
     
  5. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,459
    Yorkshire
    I don't have a solution either - but from the behaviour in dad's care home, the undressing is not at all uncommon. And I remember when I was visiting care homes to find one for dad, one manager said that some residents did not want to keep their clothes on so they gave them the rooms with windows where no-one could look - I was pleased that the home could deal with those residents thoughtfully.
    Would the pull-up trousers stay up satisfactorily with the cord removed - if you manage to get your dad to wear them?
     
  6. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    If they are elasticated, pull the drawstring out, take them away and you introduce them, new, in a week or two. I've had the trousers up, down, off, intermittently with mum, sometimes she is just unhappy with the tights or knickers she is wearing at the time, but other times I know she has forgotten how to put them back on. Also when she goes to the toilet she seems to want to take all her clothes off always starting with her shoes, socks and then trousers. Its an ingrained loop now and I can't stop it, I'm just pleased she is not going outside half dressed.
     
  7. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    Have you seen the film

    Friends with Benefits

     
  8. Long-Suffering

    Long-Suffering Registered User

    Jul 6, 2015
    426
    Thanks for all the tips and replies. He's had a lot of issues with clothing over the past year. Thinking about it, they all seem to have been "phases", so hopefully this latest one will just turn out to be a phase too.

    I'll also suggest to mum that she stops talking to him about the trousers. She does tend to focus on things a bit much, and I think she sometimes makes the situation worse by constantly reminding dad of the strange things he's done even after he's forgotten doing them. In this case it has been "You were walking around with no trousers on this morning! Why were you doing that? Don't you remember that? I hope you're not going to do that again! You aren't going to do it again, are you? I've told you so many times not to do that? Why do you keep doing it? Just TRY to remember! The doctor said you had habits, and this is just another of your habits! " Etc., etc., :confused:

    Anyway, the good (?) news is that I haven't heard about any trouser problems for a couple of days now. Dad's new preoccupation seems to be peeing in wastepaper baskets.

    LS
     
  9. Bod

    Bod Registered User

    Aug 30, 2013
    1,111
    Get waste paper bins with no holes.

    Bod

    And a spout if poss.
     
  10. Long-Suffering

    Long-Suffering Registered User

    Jul 6, 2015
    426
    Hi Bod.

    We could go further than that! We could design a whole range of products using our collective experience to supply unique products to this niche market. What could we have in addition to the wastepaper pee bucket? How about adult versions of the infamous open-crotch pants worn by small Chinese children - make elasticated waisted trousers a thing of the past!

    http://online.thatsmags.com/post/explainer-chinese-split-crotch-pants-nsfw-baby-butts


    LS
     
  11. Bod

    Bod Registered User

    Aug 30, 2013
    1,111
    That's already been invented, by the Scots, they call it the Kilt.

    In all seriousness FiL, wore a nightshirt, because he didn't get on with pyjamas.
    I'm not suggesting that he should be put in a dress! but a kilt around the house, maybe?

    Bod
     
  12. Long-Suffering

    Long-Suffering Registered User

    Jul 6, 2015
    426
    That would solve the problem and he'd have a good laugh at that. I can just imagine mum's reaction, though! :rolleyes:

    LS
     
  13. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,990
    Cotswolds
    This thread has had me giggling, so thanks for that!

    Here my husband has been nipping behind bushes in the garden for some months, and no amount of subtle dissuasion works. Perhaps a cold winter will.

    The 'trousers off' thing has only started recently, and only at home so far, thank goodness. It started at night with PJ trousers.

    It's started me looking at the fastenings on men's trousers, and thinking how complicated they must be for a man with Dementia. Does anybody know of a range of smart looking trousers that are easier to cope with?
     
  14. Long-Suffering

    Long-Suffering Registered User

    Jul 6, 2015
    426
    Hi Anne,

    Yes, I'm having all sorts of Benny Hill type images running through my head!

    There's a thread I started about elasticated trousers. I'll just go look for it...

    LS
     
  15. Bod

    Bod Registered User

    Aug 30, 2013
    1,111

    Get her one too!
    Matching tartan of course.

    Bod
     
  16. Kjn

    Kjn Registered User

    Jul 27, 2013
    5,835
    What a load of images have been conjured up:eek:, afraid you gave me a laugh re the trousers situation :D
     
  17. irishmanc

    irishmanc Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    64
    Manchester
    Brilliant idea - with all of our combined expertise, we couldn't fail!!!
     

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