Dad keeps falling and hitting his head at care home

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Ladywriter1968, Aug 27, 2014.

  1. Ladywriter1968

    Ladywriter1968 Registered User

    Oct 2, 2009
    437
    London UK
    Hi there

    My Dad forgets he cant walk and gets up and then falls and hits his head, this has happened a few times, he nursing floor now later stages of dementia, nurse is trying to put forward for more help but like everything it takes time, obviously they cant stand next to him 24-7 and cant strap him in and this would be restraining some one. he has a bed with guards around it for safety, but when he sits in a chair he seems to get up and falls. he got bruised lip, bandage thing on head and his eyes are red, he cant speak anymore. This has happened a few times. I dont know what else can be done really. I guess they cant leave him in bed all the time either as thats not good for him. they have 60 people there to look after. Each time he goes to hospital with a keyworker to check him over. I have a trapped nerve in my back and cant walk far and live quite a way from where he is. My friend took me to see him other day because my family wont help me, dont want to know, I am only child.

    Even when I have been there I have seen him try to get up out of the chair in dining room. He later stages of dementia,

    I dont know what else can be done really. See I get no support from family or anyone or back up.
     
  2. halojones

    halojones Registered User

    May 7, 2014
    438
    Hello Lady writer, I am sorry to read about your difficult circumstances. I can't really offer any advice about your dads falls except that if he is in the home then he is with the professional carers who will be doing their best for him. It must be awful to see how vulnerable he is. For you to be unwell yourself and have no support is really sad. All I can say is that I don't have any support either and feel very alone with caring for my mum. Try and find support were you can, I go to the carers coffee mornings and it does help. I am still quite new to all this, so I hope you get a lot more advice. I wish you the best in such difficult circumstances... xxx
     
  3. mrjelly

    mrjelly Registered User

    Jul 23, 2012
    315
    West Sussex
    In hospital I have seen alarms that tell the person to "Sit down Fred!" or similar if they try to rise from their chair. It seems to work with some people.

    If you can talk to an occupational therapist, they may have some advice and be able to provide the equipment.
     
  4. Ladywriter1968

    Ladywriter1968 Registered User

    Oct 2, 2009
    437
    London UK
    thanks for replies

    They told me they refer to a special falls clinic. as they cant keep him in bed all time, and they cant restraint him in chair either. he was bruised face and head, he looks awful, he cant speak anymore, just muddled words, and does not know me or anyone. Looks dazed. I am sorry for others here going through same things.

    It is horrible. As I have uncle and cousin they dont want to know, my friend took me to hospital as I have a trapped nerve in my back and cant travel far on pub transport and its over hour journey on buses and trains to get to where dad is from where I live. half hour drive by car, but his family dont want to know. I feel like telling them where to go now but I dont for dads sake, but they are more a bind on me then any help.

    I saw my mum sick for years when I was a child and now dad, its like I have lived with illness for years, and now ill myself. Life gives some no breaks. I try to be positive still, even though despite my back pain I exercise. waiting for physio myself.

    I am only child and I simply cant do it all, I just cant, I am one person not several. And have to think of my own health as well.

    thanks for reading. Just saying out loud how I feel really.
     
  5. Teanosugar

    Teanosugar Registered User

    Apr 28, 2012
    107
    Stockport
    Empathising with you

    I know just how you feel as my dad is in a CH with advanced dementia and within the last few weeks his falls have increased. Last week 4 falls, resulting in fractured shoulder, cuts to head (2 stitched), one cut to hand (dressed he pulls it off and showing signs of infection now), bruising is worst ever seen, his face on one side is totally swollen, black and blue and the cuts, his eye almost closed and his front neck area is totally black. He has been to hospital each time, the GP has changed some medication and added another, he is back at care home and being monitored best they can with staffing. I feel so down, I cant care for him but as his only child I feel I am letting him down by not being able to stop the falls, but everything that can be done is being done. He is to be seen at hospital falls clinic next week, has been this week for shoulder but refused any treatment and got agitated and a little violent hitting out at staff. He asks to die, often asks me to shoot him, one of the few legible things he does say. His weight is low, not wanting to eat much (always ate well until few weeks ago) and is now refusing many drinks. Like you I try to be positive, I accept his staff do all they can, but the state of him at the moment I have to keep going out of his sight as I break down. It is so hard, I understand how you feel, nobody else to help as only children and our loved ones need us, even if they dont know who we are. I take great comfort from my memories of a fantastic dad, so my advice is to try to go with the flow, there is nothing more we can do, and to accept the inevitable will come and that we must look back and remember we did our best, we are only human. You keep saying what you feel, a problem shared is a problem off our chests. Your dad of old would be horrified at you blaming and doubting yourself, as would mine. We have lost the dads we knew, but we still have the dads they are now. Just do your best, give him a cuddle, if he thinks you are just some woman cuddling him remember you know better. Good luck, we will need it eh? Jean
     

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