Sorry, this is a bit complicated. I will try to be as brief as possible: Mum with advanced dementia in a lovely nursing home (although dilapidated building) with 24/7 one-to-one care. This is deemed necessary by psychiatrist in the hospital from which she was discharged last month because she is in constant motion - and doesn't sleep - but is very unstable). Nursing home is 40mins drive from dad's house; about equidistant for myself and three siblings (two of whom live close to dad) but in a different county. Three siblings (including me) very happy with current set-up and can and will fund one-to-one while we pursue State funding - which may or may not be available - or even indefinitely if needed. One sibling wants mum moved to a hospital with a long stay unit in same county as mum & dad's home. Unit does not provide one-to-one and have said that they would look for family permission for restraint (lap belt) as an alternative. Mum was in this unit for three months last year and we have several concerns, including over medication, unkindness of staff and one occasion when several staff were off campus when we arrived to visit. The sibling in favour of this option is finding it difficult to articulate her reasons, but it seems to be partly about money (her financial circumstances are different and she could not afford to contribute to the cost of mum's care but there is no need for her to do so, the other siblings can cover it), partly about having mum closer to her (the unit is the same distance as the nursing home from her house, but very close to her business), and partly because she thinks mum might be better off being sedated more and made to sit rather than walking all the time. THE PROBLEM IS: Dad has (earlier stage) dementia too (MMSE 20ish but he is unaware of the diagnosis). He is still functioning reasonably independently but changes his mind about what he wants for mum depending on whom he has last spoken to. Plus he goes for dinner most days to the sibling who wants mum moved. Whenever any other sibling speaks to him, he easily understands that the move would not be in mum's interests (although he worries that mum does not currently have an en-suite room and about the cost, even though he understands that he doesn't need to). Then, the next day, he has changed his mind again. The poor man is going round in circles. The sibling in question will not engage in family discussions and has not stuck to any agreements that we have reached. A few weeks ago, we all five sat down and agreed that we would only consider a move if one-to-one care could be provided, but she has since gone back on this; she is also trying to keep dad away from the rest of us, or make sure to see him immediately after he sees any of us. How do we ensure that mum is not moved by dad under the influence of this sibling (he is next of kin and there is no power of attorney for her)? Is he even competent to make such a decision? I have thought about having her made a Ward of Court but am concerned that the court might take cost into consideration. Also we don't have much hard evidence to back up our concerns about this unit, and the doctor who oversees it does not seem to think restraint is a bad idea (which I cannot understand but the court may not favour the opinion of other doctors over this one). Any advice would be appreciated.