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Dad is taking the house apart

Glenn66

New member
Jul 16, 2020
3
Had a disturbing report from my mum who looks after my Dad 24*7. He is medium to late stage. He has started to get up in the night and take disturb things. My mum found the TV upside down on the floor with the cables out. Ornaments were disturbed and all over the floor , the coffee table top was off and in one room a light bulb had been taken out and left on the floor. This was all while my mum was catching an hours sleep.
Is this part of the normal progression that people go through?
My concern for both of them is that this is now a safeguarding issue and we need at the minimum overnight care for him. We were already in the process of filling out a needs assessment and are trying to speed that up. Should we get overnight care for him privately if its affordable?
Appreciate any guidance.
 

Louise7

Registered User
Mar 25, 2016
2,377
If this is a sudden change in behaviour then it's worth checking if your dad has some sort of infection such as urine, chest etc as these can cause havoc in people with dementia. If your dad will be a self-funder - has more than £23,250 savings (England) - then you can organise carers yourself. Overnight care is likely to be quite expensive, and is also not something that the local authority will provide if you dad is not a self-funder and they will be paying for his care. I'd suggest that your first port of call is to the GP to have your dad checked over as there may be medication available that will help. Also flag up your concerns with social services but there may be some delays in getting a care needs assessment in the current climate.
 
Last edited:

Spanielgirl

New member
Jan 10, 2019
9
Dear @Glenn66,

I was going to suggest what @Louise7 has just suggested.

MaNaAk
UOTE="Glenn66, post: 1737262, member: 87758"]
Had a disturbing report from my mum who looks after my Dad 24*7. He is medium to late stage. He has started to get up in the night and I agretake disturb things. My mum found the TV upside down on the floor with the cables out. Ornaments were disturbed and all over the floor , the coffee table top was off and in one room a light bulb had been taken out and left on the floor. This was all while my mum was catching an hours sleep.
Is this part of the normal progression that people go through?
My concern for both of them is that this is now a safeguarding issue and we need at the minimum overnight care for him. We were already in the process of filling out a needs assessment and are trying to speed that up. Should we get overnight care for him privately if its affordable?
Appreciate any guidance.
[/QUOTE]
If this is a sudden change in behaviour then it's worth checking if your dad has some sort of infection such as urine, chest etc as these can cause havoc in people with dementia. If your dad will be a self-funder - has more than £23,250 savings (England) - then you can organise carers yourself. Overnight care is likely to be quite expensive, and is also not something that the local authority will provide if you dad is not a self-funder and they will be paying for his care. I'd suggest that your first port of call is to the GP to have your dad checked over as there may be medication available that will help. Also flag up your concerns with social services but there may be some delays in getting a care needs assessment in the current climate.
If this is a sudden change in behaviour then it's worth checking if your dad has some sort of infection such as urine, chest etc as these can cause havoc in people with dementia. If your dad will be a self-funder - has more than £23,250 savings (England) - then you can organise carers yourself. Overnight care is likely to be quite expensive, and is also not something that the local authority will provide if you dad is not a self-funder and they will be paying for his care. I'd suggest that your first port of call is to the GP to have your dad checked over as there may be medication available that will help. Also flag up your concerns with social services but there may be some delays in getting a care needs assessment in the current climate.
If this is a sudden change in behaviour then it's worth checking if your dad has some sort of infection such as urine, chest etc as these can cause havoc in people with dementia. If your dad will be a self-funder - has more than £23,250 savings (England) - then you can organise carers yourself. Overnight care is likely to be quite expensive, and is also not something that the local authority will provide if you dad is not a self-funder and they will be paying for his care. I'd suggest that your first port of call is to the GP to have your dad checked over as there may be medication available that will help. Also flag up your concerns with social services but there may be some delays in getting a care needs assessment in the current climate.
I totally agree with the other replies, first port of call has to be the doctor, however as we know everything takes time. What immediate course of action can you take yourself to help your poor Mum, ? she must be at breaking point. Some people may not agree, but when it comes to ones own sanity certain things have to be done. My suggestion, which is what I’ve done is that your Dad has his own room, with a gate across it and only comes into other areas of the house when your Mum is awake and supervising him. If it’s a UTI or constipation/impaction / delirium ( which we’ve just had,) they will both be climbing the walls. Remove all items from the room which will cause risk of injury and get a mattress or floor alarm/ pager to alert your Mum when he gets out of bed . She will never manage this situation on her own or without sleep. As with a new born, she has to try & sleep when he’s asleep. Can you drop everything and go and help her , talk to her and assess the situation as it sounds you will have a crisis on your hands. I’m sorry not to be the bearer of good news, but it sounds like hands on practicalities, support and tons of strength and common sense. Keep us updated, we know where you’re coming from. Thinking of you.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
2,543
Essex
I think it would be a good idea for you to start getting carers in now to help your poor mum if anything.

MaNaAk