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Dad is now going onto End Of Life Care

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
2,288
0
Southampton
if you use a mask and gloves, i would think you would be ok but its a dilemma i wouldnt want. i think that as my son wore a mask was protection for his dad while he was in the house.
what a situation. i am sorry to hear that and that your visits are limited. with your husband being ill as well its a big juggling act. im thinking of you at this difficult time
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
14,631
0
South coast
Oh @Wildflowerlady I am so sorry to hear that your dad has covid on top of everything else. What a dilemma! My own personal feeling is that it is important for your husband to have the jab and if you wore a mask and gloves and stayed in the car I think that would be OK.
 

Wildflowerlady

Registered User
Sep 30, 2019
409
0
if you use a mask and gloves, i would think you would be ok but its a dilemma i wouldnt want. i think that as my son wore a mask was protection for his dad while he was in the house.
Hi @jennifer1967 I will unfortunately have to make the decision not to hold dads hand over or under blanket or touch him in any way now but at least would have some hope he knew I came to visit if only for that brief moment.
 

Wildflowerlady

Registered User
Sep 30, 2019
409
0
Oh @Wildflowerlady I am so sorry to hear that your dad has covid on top of everything else. What a dilemma! My own personal feeling is that it is important for your husband to have the jab and if you wore a mask and gloves and stayed in the car I think that would be OK.
Thank you @canary that is my overriding feeling as partner is almost 78 years only wish I could have it too but am only 61 years so will have to show patience and be as careful as I can.
 

Jessbow

Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
3,358
0
West Hertfordshire
If you are self isolating, you really shouldn't take your husband. Honestly, you shouldnt.

When he gets there , they will ask ''have you been in contact with anyone with covid in the last 7 days''

Please PLEASE , its hard, but get his appt postponed for a couple of weeks.
 

Hazara8

Registered User
Apr 6, 2015
608
0
Dear @Wildflowerlady,

Thinking of you all.

MaNaAk
Self isolation is a legal requirement. Appointments can often be met by appropriate transport for such a situation or perhaps a friend. I think it prudent to seek advice on this as the last thing you need now is to be subjected to retribution owing to a breach of the self isolation ruling. Like everyone else sharing your ongoing diary of events, l have immense respect for your fortitude and devotional " care" for your father. This virus is an utter wretch and on top of all else, something neither you nor he should be victim to.
Be cautiously aware. With warmest wishes.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,633
0
Essex
Dear @Wildflowerlady,

Please consider what @Jessbow and the others have said and keep yourself and your husband safe. You are doing a wonderful and tremendous job for your dear dad and he would have been proud of you.

Hugs

MaNaAk
 

Wildflowerlady

Registered User
Sep 30, 2019
409
0
My brave and strong dad passed away this afternoon I received a call at 4.33pm to say that my dad had now passed, nurse said dad had been checked and when they checked again 5 minutes later he had gone so sadly it sounds like dad was actually alone. I said to her seeing dad yesterday had been really shocking so it was a relief he had now passed which she understood as she said she could see how hard I was finding it when she saw me. I was absolutely distraught yesterday on getting home and really not wanting to go back to see dad again. I was trying to be brave for dad and wouldn't have not gone to see him but it was becoming so hard and not sure how much more I could cope with. I saw dad this morning for a very short visit only because of Covid test result and when they called to say he had passed and that I could go back for the last time before the doctor arrived to do dads certification I wanted to. I went back to CH and spent around 10 minutes with dad but didn't touch him and kept my distance, I just said a few things and told him his suffering was now over and he could now be with mum. It was strange because I felt I could almost hear him breathing and started to look to see if his chest was moving but of course he couldn't be they wouldn't make a mistake like that.
Thank you everyone for the support shown to me it has helped me to know that there are so many kind people out there that have been understanding of my own personnel situation, dad his dementia and awful struggles with sister. I am sad that my dad never got a chance to settle in what I think was a lovely CH and my dreams of visiting him there and him being safe and settled in normal times did not happen. I am grateful that my mum never saw dad get like this and that it was a journey sister and I took with him until the end.
I will still be popping in now and then and will continue to follow your many posts and if I can be of any help will try my best to give my honest advice and offer my support as so many of you have to me. Sadly I know there will be many newcomers and their journeys will just be beginning just as mine did. Sending many hugs to all of you and thank you so very much. 🫂 🫂 🫂 🫂 🫂 🫂 🫂 🫂 🫂
 

Hayley JS

Registered User
Feb 20, 2020
301
0
I am so sorry for your loss, I hope you can take a little time out to be kind to yourself now xx
 

Banjomansmate

Registered User
Jan 13, 2019
2,555
0
Dorset
It will take time to get your head around this but now you can devote time to your partner.
Once all the legalities are finished with you won’t need to have contact with your sister any longer!
Thinking of you at this time.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
14,631
0
South coast
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) @Wildflowerlady

I understand that feeling of sadness and relief. My mum was alone when she passed away too. I had stayed with her night and and day for three days, but had to go and check on OH. She passed away within 10 mins of me leaving. One of the carers told me that she had seen this many times and she thought they did not want to pass away while they were with someone, so waited until they were alone, so do not feel badly about it.
 

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