Dad is getting weary.........

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by alysia, Jan 6, 2007.

  1. alysia

    alysia Registered User

    Jun 27, 2006
    Hello everyone
    This is the first time I have posted but have been getting support from reading about everyone elses experiences.
    My father-in-law who is 86 has AD and has great support from the services out there as well as his wife who is herself frail. We were worried about the eating aspects but have read the threads about this which explains a lot.
    He takes Aracept daily but recently has been 'weary' in the mornings and goes back to bed for a snooze.
    Is this a normal progression of the illness? or should we be concerned?

    Must just say what a fantastic help this forum is ..........thankyou so much.
  2. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    During her last years (before any sort of diagnosis) my mother was spending more and more time in bed, having naps or daydreaming.

    I tried to persuade her to exercise and to go for little walks, to prevent atrophy. During her last months nurses told us we shouldn't let her spend so much time in bed, because of bedsores, chest infections etc. but there wasn't really anything we could do about it. But in the end, could hardly force her to stay up.

    As for what's normal, everyone's different.

  3. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    Hi Alysia

    Just wanted to say welcome,...........sorry, can't really help on this one............but i'm sure a mountain of help and support will follow from other members who have experience of this situation.

    Best wishes
    Love Alex x
  4. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    Hiya Alysia,
    Welcome to TP. It is good to hear that you are getting great support from the services - so often people have difficulty finding the appropriate help - so well done you, getting that organised.
    Are there any other changes in your FIL? Is he more restless during the night, so that he is tired once he gets up? Is he settling down to sleep at night as he used to?
    I think that as the dementia develops, the brain has work harder and harder to try and make sense of the world, and so becomes more tired. If there are no other changes that you are concerned about, I wouldn't worry too much -but if you are really concerned, just call in the GP. One thought I have just had is that a UTI can make you more sleepy - might be worth getting a urine test done.
    Love Helen
  5. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    My mother (89, post stroke) is very keen on her bed. She's in hospital at the moment, and even they've noticed it (which when you think about it is a little odd). Now in her case there's an element of escape, but I do think that as people get older even quite small things tire them out. After getting her up, getting her breakfast, ahowering and dressing her, she is often really tired again, and I can't say I blame her. What I'm trying to say is I think there's a wide range of "normal" in the elderly. If this is noticeably abnormal for your FIL, the other thing that I would think about apart from a UTI is anaemia.

    Welcome to TP

  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Hi Alysia, Welcome to Talking Point.

    I`m sorry your FIL is causing you so much concern by his constant weariness.

    At his age, I`m not surprised he`s tired, especially as he is on a powerful drug too.

    I understand about bed sores and chest infections, but apart from trying to stimulate his interest, what more can you do. Poor man is just tired.

    I endorse the comment Jennifer made. When my husband, who`s 74, has got up, washed, shaved, had a bath and got dressed, he`s exhausted and often falls asleep with the morning paper, especial;ly in this weather.

    Try not to worry to much. Just make the most of the time he`s active.

    Love Sylvia x
  7. Lynne

    Lynne Registered User

    Jun 3, 2005
    Hi Alysia

    A thought occurred - what time of day does your F-i-Law take his Aricept?

    This may be something I am imagining, but when Mum was first put on it I used to make sure she had taken it after breakfast. I was still working full-time then, and this seemed to make sense to me as I could always be there at that time of day. However, during the first 3 months she often complained of feeling "muzzy-headed" and dozey during the day, so we've now changed it to after her evening meal.
    It seems as if that's better; if there is a sedative effect, it's more naturally dealt with at bedtime.

    As she doesn't eat very much (and never has) I supplement her diet with a multi-vitamin pill, a selenium tablet (supposed to boost immune system) and a tablet of cranberry extract to ward off UTIs. No, I don't know if any of them actually do any good, (any opinions anyone?)
    but they don't do any harm. She takes these after breakfast.

    As has been said, 'normal' is a fuzzy concept, AD symtoms tend to be as individual as the people who get it.
    I think any advice or comment made by any of us is only based on the limited experience each of us has been forced to acquire.

    Watch out for the Guilt Monster trying to sit on your shoulder at any opportunity - Just because something is (or isn't) happening, don't assume it's because you are doing (or not doing) anything wrong. You feel that way because you want desperately to help him.

    Best wishes
  8. Michael E

    Michael E Registered User

    Apr 14, 2005
    Ronda Spain
    Lynne hi,

    I think, in fact I am sure that I am supposed to give the Aricept at night.... Is that why its not working???

  9. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    Lynne, I am sure we had a thread about "cranberry" tablets some 2 years ago.

    I think the feeling then was that they really helped. Sheila (who was one of the mods then) used to give them to her mum, and someone else used to take them into the care home for their mum.
  10. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    Birmingham Hades
    Hi Lynne
    Peg has always taken her Aricept at Night.
    There are posts on here about Cranberry tablets and juice,do a search and you may find them.
    Cranberry is widely recomended for helping with UTI problems.
  11. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    NW England
    Hi Alysia

    Welcome. My mum has just started Aricept and was advised by the Consultant prior to prescription to take it daily with breakfast ... although having read the 'blurb' in the packaging ... night-time was advised..... ???? Could just be in mum's individual case she seems to be managing fairly independently to keep to a routine of the other regular medication she takes daily with breakfast (with my phone prompt) and this was simpler for her to remember? ...

    Just a thought but 'weariness' is different from 'tiredness' - and I've learnt to recognise that if mum is 'down in the dumps' (her words, bless) it has a significant effect on her .....

    Mum (at *only* 74 but some six stones lighter than she has been in recent years ) tires quickly, dozes .. probably allsorts of reasons.. (including boredom I hate to admit) ... you're right to be concerned (why we're all here) .... , but the way I see it, if medically all is well as can be then I see 'snoozing' as one luxury and independent choice mum can be afforded to do when she wants to and on her own terms......

    Hope that makes some sense....

    Love, Karen, x

    (Lynne, IMHO, I can't see what harm is done in trying anything (unless medically advised otherwise) that MIGHT help .... even if it's only a placebo effect ......)
  12. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    #12 Margarita, Jan 7, 2007
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2007
    My mother not on Aracept , but in the morning she has her breakfast and medication and has a snooze afterwards would have a snooze all day if I let her , that’s why its so good that she go to Daycentre 3 times a week .

    I find that the snoozing has worsen over time, but besides the snoozing she healthy. What do you find worrying about your FIL eating ( just wondering )
  13. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    I found some people actually thought the snoozing caused the dementia instead of the other way round. You should make her do this, you should stop her doing that ... whatever you do is wrong ... did they expect me to put a cage over the bed all day? She had a right to choose.

  14. DeborahBlythe

    DeborahBlythe Registered User

    Dec 1, 2006
    To snooze or not to snooze..

    Hello Lila, how dare anyone criticise the care you gave your relative! That's dreadful. I think, apart from anything else, we all have to consider what is the kindest option, and I think your care sounds very kind. Love Deborah
  15. alysia

    alysia Registered User

    Jun 27, 2006
    Advice about Dad....

    Thanks to everyone for all the replies.

    Hi Lynne.
    FIL takes his Aracept with breakfast ,the idea being to calm him down during the day as he was getting agitated about a variety of things. He had stopped taking them unbeknown to us as we thought his wife was organising the tabs so maybe its because he has only been back on them for about a month and it takes its time to level out?
    It would make sense to take it at night in many ways especially as he goes to bed late and also gets up at the crack of dawn ie. 4am to have a shower some days!

    We will certainly check the UTI aspect as he does trot in and out of the loo a lot.

    We are waiting for a daycentre placement at the moment so that he and his wife can get out together as I'm sure he gets bored.

    we'll keep soldiering on but it just gets harder which is why the help from all of you lovely people on this forum is so valuable and uplifting.

    thanks a lot
  16. alysia

    alysia Registered User

    Jun 27, 2006
    Dad's appetite

    Hi Margarita

    Dad always had a fantastic appetite but lately when we were having a meal, even if its his choice in a restaurant he struggles to finish it and keeps saying he is not hungry.............

    got lots of advice so we have sorted this one now thanks.

    best wishes
  17. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    Yes, there were plenty of people (professionals and amateurs) dishing out contradictory advice! I wanted to say, just stay 24 hours in her house with her and then tell me what to do.

    Needless to say the advice never came from anyone who'd spent more than 1 hour with her.



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