1. alfjess

    alfjess Registered User

    Jul 10, 2006
    1,213
    south lanarkshire
    Hi All

    This morning the carers came and told us Dad's face was covered in blood, of course we went to sort it out.

    Dad had a bursted nose, we don't know how it happened. Did he fall, did he bump into something, did Mum throw or hit him with something? We don't know, we have looked for blood where he might have fallen walked into something and can't find anything.

    However, that isn't the problem. We thought he needed a stitch in the gash on his nose, so took him to A & E. After various tests they said his heart was slow 39but older people had a slower heart beat than normal, so have kept him in the emergency care ward for monitoring. The gash on his nose was not priority and other than glue, it was OK

    Meanwhile I have Mum terrified because Dad isn't here. She is refusing to take her jacket or boots of. She is going to that place to get Dad

    After having been in A & E for 6 + hours trying to pacify Mum and stop her plaguing the receptionists, then stop her pulling all of the monitoring wires from Dad, I am exhausted.

    It was a waste of energy stopping Mum from pulling the wires, because apparently when my Daughter visited to-night, Dad had removed all wires 4 times, so the only one they were persevering with was the heart one.

    From a weary
    Alfjess
     
  2. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,438
    Oh dear Alfjess, what a horrible day you've had, and I guess tonight won't be much better. I suppose all one can say is try to get some rest, and hopefully things will be a bit better in the morning.

    Love

    Jennifer
     
  3. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    1,170
    Australia
    Dear Alfjess,
    My heart goes out to you. I realise how old I'm getting when I start on about the "good old days" but . . . . .
    years ago, the hospitals would let a husband or wife in your parents' situation stay in the hospital with the actual patient - as a "social admission". Whether this would help with your Mum or not is really not relevant because there is no way hospitals can do that sort of thing these days.

    I can only hope your Dad's stay is brief and that you can cope with your Mum until they are together again - then have some real rest. Any chance of that??? Nell
     
  4. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Dear Alfjess

    So sorry this has happened. You must have had such a stressful day yesterday, and coming on top of everything else, I'm not surprised you're exhausted.

    I do hope your dad will be OK today -- and that you can keep your mum calm. Might this make your decision re 24 hour care easier?

    Let us know how it goes.

    Love,
     
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,885
    Kent
    Oh Alfjess, I`m so sorry. You must all be frantic with worry. No wonder you`re exhausted.

    I hope things stabilise today and there will be help for you.
     
  6. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    639
    West Sussex
    Alfjess

    I hope things are better today, perhaps this will be the start of better support for you all.

    The slow heart rate may well have caused your Dad to fall, at least now he will be under a consultant..........maybe they will be able to help you, be honest and tell them of your fears and how awful your Dad's home situation is.

    There is no shame in being open with the hospital staff, they have probably, sadly, heard the same things many times before.

    Use this horrible day as a stepping stone to get on a better road for all of you.

    Kathleen
     
  7. alfjess

    alfjess Registered User

    Jul 10, 2006
    1,213
    south lanarkshire
    Hi

    The Doctors at the hospital has stopped dad's medication, Aricept and Quinine (for leg cramps) because known side effects of both drugs, is slow heart beat. It is only on a trial basis, but I don't know how they will monitor it, they are trying hard, but Dad is unattaching all the connections, even though they found a smaller monitor which fits in his pyjama jacket pocket, immediately after the Doctor setting everything up, Dad had removed all pads and wires.
    He was being given oxygen via a nose tube, but that was also removed. There is talk of a pacemaker, but I don't think the medics think it is a viable option, mainly because of his age (84) and mental condition. There is talk of him being discharged tomorrow, as an out patient, with a home monitor:eek: How the H--- do I get him to keep the monitor in place at home, when they can't do it in hospital. I am not blaming the staff, they are doing their best.

    I took Mum to visit this afternoon, but I don't think I will be taking her back again, even if Dad isn't discharged tomorrow. She causes havoc trying, to be kind to Dad. He has a needle in the back of his hand and on in his forearm, just incase, sorry don't know the technical term for them. Mum is touching and jiggling them around, poking his sore nose, touching everything, "SHE CAN WORK ALL THESE MACHINES:eek:" When my back was turned, she was off plaguing nurses and Doctors, trying as she would have in the past, to get info, BUT THIS IS EVERY 2 MINS.

    Again to-night, we have had the trauma of Dad not being here, she is frightened, she didn't sleep hardly at all last night.

    I phoned the emergency duty social worker, to-day and left a message and am still waiting for a reply. Phoned the elderly mental health team emergency number, same result

    Never mind tomorrow is Monday, maybe I can speak to a real person

    Thanks everyone for your support and replies

    Alfjess
     
  8. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Alfjess, you can't cope with all this. And you certainly couldn't manage your father at home, particularly with your mum 'helping'.

    I hope you manage to talk to your social worker today and get a nursing home sorted out.

    Those of us caring for one person with AD know how hard it is. Coping with two, at the stage they're at, is impossible. You've done a grand job up to now, but we all have limits.

    Thinking of you today, let us know how it goes.

    Love,
     
  9. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Just thinking about you and what a terrible time you have had. Hope today is a bit better. Just hoping for your sake this is the crisis needed to get things sorted for you. TRY to look after yourself whilst all this is going on.
    Best wishes Beckyjan
     
  10. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,885
    Kent
    Alfjess, I`m sending you a PM re the leg cramps and quinine.

    I hope things are better today.
     
  11. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    What a nightmare, don’t know how your coping with it all, how is it all going ? wish I could offer more words of help xx
     
  12. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    639
    West Sussex
    Alfjess

    I understand you not wanting to blame the staff for wanting to send your Dad home early..............but try really hard not to agree to it, could you cope???

    Your Dad needs specialist medical care at the moment and he deserves the best available to him, his age and mental state are no excuse for him not receiving the best care possible.

    Your Mum too, although missing him, can not be expected to understand all his needs or to give him the care he deserves.

    I loathe "old age" constantly being given as an excuse to treat people badly, a persons age should never exclude anyone from proper care or treatment when it is needed.

    We are all human beings, no matter what number of years we have survived for.
     
  13. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    Hi Alfjess
    I really hope you have managed to get some sleep last night and that you have managed to get some help today.......
    It brings back memories of my dad being in hospital and ,as your mum does, my mum used to cause havoc when visiting to the point where dad would plead with me to take her home.......
    i just hope things have improved a bit for you today
    Love Wendy x
     
  14. jan.

    jan. Registered User

    Apr 19, 2006
    405
    Cheshire, UK.
    Dear Alfjess,

    How i feel for you. Please take care of yourself, stress can do so much damage. I hope something is sorted ASAP, you shouldn`t be expected to shoulder all the responsibility......it`s too much for anyone. Just wanted you to know that your being thought of.

    Sending [[[[[[[[[BIG HUGS]]]]]]]]]
    Love Jan. X
     
  15. chip

    chip Registered User

    Jul 19, 2005
    400
    Scotland
    I think he will need 24hr monitoring. I know what its like when my husband took the seizure he was pulling the wires of monitoring his heart, taking the oxygen of, wouldnt let them take blood etc. He is still in but he will be home this week when care is arranged.
     
  16. hawaii50

    hawaii50 Registered User

    Hi Alfjess
    You know of course that you have been in my thoughts today and hope that you manage to get this sorted. I am sure you are going through an unbelievable time trying to explain to your mum what is going on because she wont retain the information or remember it from one minute to the next - all she will see is that her husband isn't there! I hope your dad stabilizes soon and that he is not sent home prematurely.
    My heart goes out to you.
    Elspeth
     
  17. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    1,170
    Australia
    Dear Alfjess,
    I hope that Scarlett O'hara's famous saying:
    "Tomorrow is another day!"
    is true for you, in that you are able to get some of the support and help you so desperately need and deserve. In the meantime,
    {{{HUGS}}}
     
  18. alfjess

    alfjess Registered User

    Jul 10, 2006
    1,213
    south lanarkshire
    Update

    Hi
    The hospital phoned this morning to say Dad's heart rate was near normal and he was being discharged. They have stopped the medication, Aricept and Quinine permanently, although they did say they would be happier if someone was available 24/7 because it might just be fribrosis (sp) age related and if he had another turn then some one would be on hand immediately

    I got on to the CPN and social worker and fast forwarded the date for respite (with a review for permanent care) they agreed and organised it. Thankfully the care home was taking admissions again after the tummy bug outbreak

    Steve (husband) and I went to collect Dad from hospital and take him to the care home, he seems more frail than he was last week, he had a dizzy spell just as we arrived at the care home. Meanwhile my cousin collected Mum from daycare, which surprisingly she attended to-day and brought her to the care home. I've since phoned and been told they have settled fine.

    Now my problem is, as usual my brother, he has raised an objection, to Social Services about Mum and Dad being in care, so instead of things working out quite well:( and calmly I now have to have a meeting on Wednesday with Social Services to tell me about procedures for the Adults with incapacity Act and I suppose where we go from here.

    Never mind, at least Mum and Dad are together tonight. Hopefully, Dad won't be agitated and Mum won't be frightened

    Will keep you posted and thank you all very much for your advice and support

    Alfjess
     
  19. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,438
    Oh dear. He really is a pill isn't he? Just hang tough, and I'm glad you managed to get them both into the care home. Perhaps you can get a decent nights sleep tonight.

    Jennifer
     
  20. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Glad you've managed to get them both into a care home. Your mum will be so much happier now they're together.

    Just the brother to sort out now, then!!!!:eek:

    Good luck, love,
     

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