Last Saturday my lovely OH & I visited my father to help with lighbulbs & odd other DIY issues. Dad was forgetful (repeating the same stories) a bit bumbling and clearly has lost track of time. I understand this is due to his recently diagnosed dementia as well as probably partly because he lives alone and doesn't do much. But he knew where he was and who we were and had a clear grip on reality.
On Tuesday he called to say that the day before he had sat on a chair in the garden which had collapsed & he had called an ambulance and was in hospital with a fractured hip. He said they hadn't decided what to do yet and no - he didn't want me to make the trip to visit till things were clearer.
In an example of ultimate sods-law social services rang later that day to ask about planning a home assessment (I called a few weeks ago when I first posted here). I pointed out he'd fallen twice since I'd called & was now in hospital so they were a bit late! The OA (Occupational something?) lady was lovely though and explained he would be passed to the hospital OA if he was in for more than 48hrs but that she would call and discuss with the hospital. We had a long chat where I explained Dad hates being in hospital and will tell tales that appear terribly plausible to escape - including lying and saying I will be at home with him!
Wednesday I spoke to the nurse at the hospital (another lovely lady) who said the docs wanted to act conservatively and not operate but have him not weight bearing for 6 weeks. Later she rang to say the physio reported that was going to be difficult as Dad forgot the minute she stopped telling him not to put his foot down. The nurse told me the docs have changed their minds and he can bear weight as much as the pain allows and Dad had already been wandering around. She reported he was a bit confused but basically OK, compliant with taking meds, although he did ask whether I knew where he was (a bit worrying as we had spoken earlier).
So yesterday evening I went to see him at about 6 and he is utterly confused. He was convinced we were on holiday and he was being kept waiting to get on a plane or something. Complaining about the surly staff. Wanting to know when we were going to 'our house' (I don't live with him). Wanting to know why we were waiting.
Off I went to see a nurse and find out what the heck was going on. They wanted to put it all down to the dementia but I told them this was most certainly NOT what he'd been like less than a week ago. Dad had told me he had refused pain meds after the first one but he is actually taking Oxysomething (an opiate) 10mg twice a day. He ordinarily refuses to take anything but paracetamol so I explained he'd not be at all happy if he actually realised what they were giving him! (he's obsessed with his bowels and whether things will give him constipation). I then asked about the possibility of a bladder infection as that is what happened when he had the replacement hip 2 years ago when he really didn't have much (if any) sign of dementia normally but was totally out of it in the hospital and they agreed to do a test. When I then asked Dad about it and giving a urine sample he became really agitated and started saying they'd not let him in (when I asked where he said the country - so we were back to the plane) if he was 'contaminated'.
Throughout the hour and a half I stayed (I couldn't cope with any more and snuck off before the end of visiting) he kept returning to the 'contaminated' subject; whether we had booked into the hotel and endlessly going on about wanting a drink -gin or wine or whisky. He was sure he could find a bar one and would put some clothes on and go and look. He thought the man opposite had a glass of wine and kept rummaging through the bags of clothes and bits I'd brought convinced he'd find a miniature. I had to explain, about every 3 minutes, that he was in the hospital, not a hotel; that the bed next to him was his hospital bed; that the people were nurses not hotel staff. He also started asking about the fact that the curtains were moving up and there were posters that kept moving and the table was turning around. It seemed like he was hallucinating.
Before I left they had a nurse changeover and did agree that they'd get the docs to come review his meds and consider reducing or changing them, and would test for a urine infection.
So my question now is can dementia cause hallucinations? Can it get so much worse so much faster? Or is it more likely its the drugs and/or a urine infection?
Also how on earth do you deal with it when someone has so lost their grip on reality? I tried to play along but it was just impossible to go along with him thinking we were on holiday as he wanted to get up and walk to a bar, and was convinced he was coming with me. I was really worried he'd try and follow me out and had to make him understand he had to stay there and I had to leave.
I'm at Dad's house now, having stayed overnight, and OH has just turned up to help me sort some things & we will be going to visit later and I just don't know what to do. I want to just run away to be honest. Seeing my father like that is heartbreaking.
Sorry for rambling on again. I don't seem to be able to stop once I start
On Tuesday he called to say that the day before he had sat on a chair in the garden which had collapsed & he had called an ambulance and was in hospital with a fractured hip. He said they hadn't decided what to do yet and no - he didn't want me to make the trip to visit till things were clearer.
In an example of ultimate sods-law social services rang later that day to ask about planning a home assessment (I called a few weeks ago when I first posted here). I pointed out he'd fallen twice since I'd called & was now in hospital so they were a bit late! The OA (Occupational something?) lady was lovely though and explained he would be passed to the hospital OA if he was in for more than 48hrs but that she would call and discuss with the hospital. We had a long chat where I explained Dad hates being in hospital and will tell tales that appear terribly plausible to escape - including lying and saying I will be at home with him!
Wednesday I spoke to the nurse at the hospital (another lovely lady) who said the docs wanted to act conservatively and not operate but have him not weight bearing for 6 weeks. Later she rang to say the physio reported that was going to be difficult as Dad forgot the minute she stopped telling him not to put his foot down. The nurse told me the docs have changed their minds and he can bear weight as much as the pain allows and Dad had already been wandering around. She reported he was a bit confused but basically OK, compliant with taking meds, although he did ask whether I knew where he was (a bit worrying as we had spoken earlier).
So yesterday evening I went to see him at about 6 and he is utterly confused. He was convinced we were on holiday and he was being kept waiting to get on a plane or something. Complaining about the surly staff. Wanting to know when we were going to 'our house' (I don't live with him). Wanting to know why we were waiting.
Off I went to see a nurse and find out what the heck was going on. They wanted to put it all down to the dementia but I told them this was most certainly NOT what he'd been like less than a week ago. Dad had told me he had refused pain meds after the first one but he is actually taking Oxysomething (an opiate) 10mg twice a day. He ordinarily refuses to take anything but paracetamol so I explained he'd not be at all happy if he actually realised what they were giving him! (he's obsessed with his bowels and whether things will give him constipation). I then asked about the possibility of a bladder infection as that is what happened when he had the replacement hip 2 years ago when he really didn't have much (if any) sign of dementia normally but was totally out of it in the hospital and they agreed to do a test. When I then asked Dad about it and giving a urine sample he became really agitated and started saying they'd not let him in (when I asked where he said the country - so we were back to the plane) if he was 'contaminated'.
Throughout the hour and a half I stayed (I couldn't cope with any more and snuck off before the end of visiting) he kept returning to the 'contaminated' subject; whether we had booked into the hotel and endlessly going on about wanting a drink -gin or wine or whisky. He was sure he could find a bar one and would put some clothes on and go and look. He thought the man opposite had a glass of wine and kept rummaging through the bags of clothes and bits I'd brought convinced he'd find a miniature. I had to explain, about every 3 minutes, that he was in the hospital, not a hotel; that the bed next to him was his hospital bed; that the people were nurses not hotel staff. He also started asking about the fact that the curtains were moving up and there were posters that kept moving and the table was turning around. It seemed like he was hallucinating.
Before I left they had a nurse changeover and did agree that they'd get the docs to come review his meds and consider reducing or changing them, and would test for a urine infection.
So my question now is can dementia cause hallucinations? Can it get so much worse so much faster? Or is it more likely its the drugs and/or a urine infection?
Also how on earth do you deal with it when someone has so lost their grip on reality? I tried to play along but it was just impossible to go along with him thinking we were on holiday as he wanted to get up and walk to a bar, and was convinced he was coming with me. I was really worried he'd try and follow me out and had to make him understand he had to stay there and I had to leave.
I'm at Dad's house now, having stayed overnight, and OH has just turned up to help me sort some things & we will be going to visit later and I just don't know what to do. I want to just run away to be honest. Seeing my father like that is heartbreaking.
Sorry for rambling on again. I don't seem to be able to stop once I start
