My Dad, who is 81 and has Lewy Bodies Dementia, went into a Care Home last week initially for a 2 week respite period whilst my Mum, who cares for him on her own (I live in Ireland) had a week at home on her own followed by a week's holiday visiting a friend in Devon. She is at the end of her tether caring for him on her own (apart from a few hours off every week when a carer comes in to be with Dad) and was hoping that if Dad seemed to settle at the Care Home then she could leave him in there and it would become permanent. She discussed it with the Care Home before she went away and they said they would see how things went.
I rang Dad yesterday for a chat and he seemed reasonably happy but still as confused as he used to be at home so most of the conversation didn't make much sense. He told me he'd had a fall and was going to see the doctor today, so after I'd finished talking to him I rang back and spoke to one of the nurses. She said that he hadn't fallen but was very agitated sometimes and a few days ago had got so frustrated that he had torn his food chart into shreds!! This is not my Dad's normal behaviour at all, he has been a quiet and courteous gentleman all his life until now! However the nurse did say that his behaviour was probably
caused by him wanting immediate attention and not liking having to wait whilst the nurses looked after the other residents before him - he is used to having my Mum giving him one-to-one attention and always was a bit impatient!
I brought up the subject of him staying on after his 2 week respite period but she said they would have to monitor his behaviour and see how he was for the rest of his stay as they didn't want a new resident coming into the Care Home who would upset the others. This I can understand to a point but this is a specialist Dementia Care Home where Mum is paying £1000 per week for respite care (hopefully a bit less for permanent care if they take him) and if they say they can't cope with him, what is she supposed to do? We have looked at so many other homes but this seemed by far the best as the staff are trained in dementia care and we got a really good feeling from the place when we went to visit.
So I thought I'd post this to see if any other members have had a similar problem and if they could suggest a solution? I might be jumping the gun a bit as they haven't said no yet but just want to be prepared otherwise all the good of my Mum's 2 week break will have been in vain!
I rang Dad yesterday for a chat and he seemed reasonably happy but still as confused as he used to be at home so most of the conversation didn't make much sense. He told me he'd had a fall and was going to see the doctor today, so after I'd finished talking to him I rang back and spoke to one of the nurses. She said that he hadn't fallen but was very agitated sometimes and a few days ago had got so frustrated that he had torn his food chart into shreds!! This is not my Dad's normal behaviour at all, he has been a quiet and courteous gentleman all his life until now! However the nurse did say that his behaviour was probably
caused by him wanting immediate attention and not liking having to wait whilst the nurses looked after the other residents before him - he is used to having my Mum giving him one-to-one attention and always was a bit impatient!
I brought up the subject of him staying on after his 2 week respite period but she said they would have to monitor his behaviour and see how he was for the rest of his stay as they didn't want a new resident coming into the Care Home who would upset the others. This I can understand to a point but this is a specialist Dementia Care Home where Mum is paying £1000 per week for respite care (hopefully a bit less for permanent care if they take him) and if they say they can't cope with him, what is she supposed to do? We have looked at so many other homes but this seemed by far the best as the staff are trained in dementia care and we got a really good feeling from the place when we went to visit.
So I thought I'd post this to see if any other members have had a similar problem and if they could suggest a solution? I might be jumping the gun a bit as they haven't said no yet but just want to be prepared otherwise all the good of my Mum's 2 week break will have been in vain!