• Expert Q&A: Rare dementias - Tues 3 March, 3-4pm

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Dad has Dimentia

Help!

Registered User
Sep 23, 2019
39
Does the person your caring for become aggressive at times and when I use a threat to have to tell someone for my dad to back away he then stops and says oh no your alright ,in his normal tone ,you know I won't hurt you .or for instance when my sister has appeared during the night during a disagreement with me he then Changes his tone again and when she tells him exactly what I have been trying to tell him he listens. I mean what is that all about.?he knows what not to do or behave when other daughters are visiting .
 

Help!

Registered User
Sep 23, 2019
39
It is. And then on the other hand very grateful and thanking me ,upsetting when he looks bewildered as he has no idea of what time of day it is and when it gets dark and thinks it is bedtime .last night he was up about 6 times and thinks when he's awake it's time to get up and for me to be .but have to say last night was the ist time to be up so many times in a while and I hope it's not the new drug he's on unsettling him as the other one gave him nightmares and when I stopped them so did the nightmares and back to just waking normal a couple of times so I hope this new drug isn't the cause. Must be awful for him not knowing what time of day it is.
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,580
It is. And then on the other hand very grateful and thanking me ,upsetting when he looks bewildered as he has no idea of what time of day it is and when it gets dark and thinks it is bedtime .last night he was up about 6 times and thinks when he's awake it's time to get up and for me to be .but have to say last night was the ist time to be up so many times in a while and I hope it's not the new drug he's on unsettling him as the other one gave him nightmares and when I stopped them so did the nightmares and back to just waking normal a couple of times so I hope this new drug isn't the cause. Must be awful for him not knowing what time of day it is.
Oh my lovely, I can tell myMum things til I’m blue in the face but if my OH or daughter tell her then that’s accepted & not. Questioned!
Frustrating & annoying as it is that is the way it’s going to be!

by altering your acceptance of aggressive behaviour can be helpful, as can talking very softly & very calmly. Extremely difficult when you are emotional / upset.

The getting up in the middle of the night, oh my lovely I could get Dad back into another bed & tuck him in & give him a cuddle.
I found that he didn’t recognise where he was. Covering mirrors helps as does a strict routine at bedtime. Making sure a snack is had before bed each night, & a sealed pack of biscuits available in case of middle of the night munchies. A flip bottle of water incase of thirst - no spill variety.

A timed night light in the hall helps as well, night light on = bedtime. I also had classic fm on for Dad at bedtime & found the music soothed. The absolute quietness didn’t help Dads dementia.

Maybe have a flask of hot water by your bed each night then if he wakes & wanders a small cup of instant Horlicks might trigger night time bed routines.

hope this helps a bit.

sadly eventually dementia takes a course that we all struggle with

take care
Xx
 

Help!

Registered User
Sep 23, 2019
39
Oh my lovely, I can tell myMum things til I’m blue in the face but if my OH or daughter tell her then that’s accepted & not. Questioned!
Frustrating & annoying as it is that is the way it’s going to be!

by altering your acceptance of aggressive behaviour can be helpful, as can talking very softly & very calmly. Extremely difficult when you are emotional / upset.

The getting up in the middle of the night, oh my lovely I could get Dad back into another bed & tuck him in & give him a cuddle.
I found that he didn’t recognise where he was. Covering mirrors helps as does a strict routine at bedtime. Making sure a snack is had before bed each night, & a sealed pack of biscuits available in case of middle of the night munchies. A flip bottle of water incase of thirst - no spill variety.

A timed night light in the hall helps as well, night light on = bedtime. I also had classic fm on for Dad at bedtime & found the music soothed. The absolute quietness didn’t help Dads dementia.

Maybe have a flask of hot water by your bed each night then if he wakes & wanders a small cup of instant Horlicks might trigger night time bed routines.

hope this helps a bit.

sadly eventually dementia takes a course that we all struggle with

take care
Xx
Ah thankyou. I never have thought of putting music on but I will try that for him and buiscuits as he does love to nibble most of the day. I think aswell I just don't want to face the truth and everytime I see a little bit of my old dad back I keep thinking maybe cos he's tired he's more confused today but really I do know. And yes the Horlicks too ,I will try all these. And hopefully I will be more patient .it's hard aswell because he's lost a bit of hearing so when trying to talk calm of a night I have to end up shouting it which to him can also feel like I'm having a go at him. But I will try all these things and pray makes him calmer. Thankyou.
 

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