• We're currently experiencing technical issues with our newsletter software, so our Dementia Talking Point monthly updates have been put on hold for now. We hope to restart the newsletter soon.

    Find out more >here<.

Dad has Dimentia

Help!

Registered User
Sep 23, 2019
51
My dad who has just been diagnosed but we had an idea before this as he has become worse these past 6 months or so. He has now started calling out for his mum for help during the night ,which is me ,his daughter. Now I know reading here that this is what happens but I am sorry I cannot act out being his mum ,he calls out in a child's voice .I just feel uncomfortable if I have to pretend to be his mum. Before this I was having inuendos and talking me like I was more his wife. It's upsetting and at the time frustrating for me. I cannot make him happy by acting out as his mum.
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
7,049
Bristol
Hullo and welcome to DTP @Help!
That is awkward for you, and you should never allow yourself to be vulnerable if your dad starts treating you like his wife. Have you spoken to Social Services and explained the problems of caring. They can provide professional carers for personal care if he needs it and that can take some of the pressure off. Tell them your dad is vulnerable and that you are starting to feel a little vulnerable too. They have a duty of care to offer support to your dad, but you don't.
Others who care for parents, I care for my partner who also misses her mum, will be around to give you better advice.
 

Help!

Registered User
Sep 23, 2019
51
My dad who has just been diagnosed but we had an idea before this as he has become worse these past 6 months or so. He has now started calling out for his mum for help during the night ,which is me ,his daughter. Now I know reading here that this is what happens but I am sorry I cannot act out being his mum ,he calls out in a child's voice .I just feel uncomfortable if I have to pretend to be his mum. Before this I was having inuendos and talking me like I was more his wife. It's upsetting and at the time frustrating for me. I cannot make him happy by acting out as his mum.
Hullo and welcome to DTP @Help!
That is awkward for you, and you should never allow yourself to be vulnerable if your dad starts treating you like his wife. Have you spoken to Social Services and explained the problems of caring. They can provide professional carers for personal care if he needs it and that can take some of the pressure off. Tell them your dad is vulnerable and that you are starting to feel a little vulnerable too. They have a duty of care to offer support to your dad, but you don't.
Others who care for parents, I care for my partner who also misses her mum, will be around to give you better advice.
Thankyou. We have an appointment for memory clinic next week I will have to mention this to him. I feel also as though I want to just pretend it doesn't happen at times because it's facing the truth and what the outcome will be for him. Most of the time he is very grateful but other times difficult.