Hi All, I am new to this and just wanted to bounce a few things around before my head explodes! We have been told that dad has moderate to severe dementia. He is currently in hospital after being found by my sister in a bad way and taken to hospital where they said he was dehydrated and malnourished and all in a very short space of time. He has been diagnosed with high blood pressure, high cholesterol and irregular heart beat for which he is scheduled for a pacemaker. So all the physical things taken care of. Before this we had realised that he was not welll and was having hallucinations all the time. He had a test at the hospital and a home visit with a psycho geriatrician and at that time wasn't too bad. He seemed however to go down hill fast. When my sister found him the gas was on and he had pulled out the freezer plug and broke the kettle. As dad lives alone the 5 children have reluctantly agreed that he will need to go into care. Nobody is in a situation to have dad living with them as they all have to work long days and would not be there to care for him. I am living in France so apart from phoning or doing research I feel like I am not doing my bit! Since my mum died we were there for dad and he loved visiting us and socialising with my husband and I am so glad we did as I know that it will be devestating to see him (am visiting next week) as he is now. My sister who is the main visitor and contact is bearing the brunt of all this at the moment. We have been told be a social worker that dad can go home but after he had a home visit from the hospital we were told that he couldn't even get into the front door, couldn't get into the bath, and was tripping up the steps. At the hospital he was asked to make a cup of tea and couldn't. How on earth can they say he could cope at home. Anyway, apparently it's our choice and if we want him to go into care we have to find somewhere! I rang the home that she said was available and they told me that residents are allowed to come and go as they pleased so long as they inform staff that they will off site overnight. So dad decides to go home.......you can see the senario. Also my sister noted that they were giving dad a drug called Quetiapine (antipsychotic) which on many of the sites I have researched is marked as not approved for elderly parients with dementia. Has anyone any knowledge of this drug. I feel I want to ring up everyone and do battle on dad's behalf and am frustrated with the 'officials' who are caring for him. I know if I was living in the UK I would be the one dealing with this, oldest daughter and all that. I don't however want to make it more difficult for my sister by rubbing people up the wrong way. Anyway, any help would be appreciated.