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Dad has dementia but trying to care for mum too


New member
Jul 1, 2020
I am finding this very hard, I’ve moved in with my mum and dad as dad has LBD they have been married 50 years it’s so so hard as dad often doesn’t recognise my mum my mum is often in tears, I feel in between trying to support them both I don’t know what to do .....


Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
High Peak
Why on earth should you know what to do? This is a new and extremely difficult situation for you, you have no training in dealing with mental health or counselling so please don't beat yourself up like this. It's incredibly hard and must be very distressing for all of you. Please get some help.

Phone the Alzheimer's careline - it's a good starting point.


Registered User
May 21, 2018
Hello @Loopyloo40 . That is a lot to deal with and you can't expect to be able to cope alone. Do you have any support?From social services, any other family, or private carers? Tell us a bit more about your situation and I'm sure you will find lots of advice and support from the members here. No need to feel lonely. We're listening.


Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
Hi @Loopyloo40, welcome to the forum. It must be incredibly difficult for you, it's an extremely selfless thing that you have done, and wonderful for your Mum and Dad. I'm sure your Mum appreciates your support, and of course you are supporting them both. It must be very painful for your Mum to witness your Dad's decline, but I'm sure it's painful for you too. As others have said are you getting any support? Let us know a bit more and if there is any specific issues you would like advice on. All the best.


Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
Hi @Loopyloo40, and welcome to Dementia Talking Point. As @Jaded'n'faded mentioned phoning the Dementia helpline is a good place to start. Details here.

Dementia Connect support line: 0333 150 3456 and dementia.connect@alzheimers.org.uk

Do you have any help coming in or are you trying to do it all? It might be worth contacting your local Social Services for a needs assessment. I know people with dementia often say they don't need help, but you can't do it all on your own.

This is a really supportive and helpful community, so keep on asking away. I'm sure more people will be along in a minute with more suggestions.