Dad given days to live. Not coping!

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by LostOne, Mar 9, 2018.

  1. LostOne

    LostOne Registered User

    Mar 9, 2018
    17
    My head is just so confused. I’m so proud of him for fighting against this horrible disease but I don’t want him to have to live like this but then I’m terrified of losing him even though I know it’s coming :/
     
  2. worried2

    worried2 Registered User

    Aug 1, 2010
    27
    Thinking of you and wishing you strength. Having lost my lovely mum a few weeks ago I know that it's a horrible stage, as you don't want to lose them but you also don't want them to carry on suffering. Somehow you will find the strength to cope and hopefully take comfort in being able to be with your Dad on his journey, Xx
     
  3. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    6,713
    Female
    South coast
    Yes, of course you feel like that @LostOne
    You want it to be over, but dread it happening.
    It is not easy
    xx
     
  4. PJ

    PJ Registered User

    Jan 26, 2017
    247
    Female
    Bristol
    So sorry to read of the heartache you & your sister are going through with your dad. I do hope he’s comfortable now & you can all enjoy this precious time you have left together. Sending lots of strength your way x
     
  5. LostOne

    LostOne Registered User

    Mar 9, 2018
    17
    My dad passed away this evening very peacefully with his daughters beside him at 9pm.
    Thank you all for everything <3
     
  6. LostOne

    LostOne Registered User

    Mar 9, 2018
    17
    I wish you all the strength and courage you need to get through the tough and unimaginable times xx
     
  7. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    6,713
    Female
    South coast
    (((((hugs))))))
    He is free now
     
  8. worried2

    worried2 Registered User

    Aug 1, 2010
    27
    So sorry for your loss; glad that it was peaceful. Wishing you strength to cope with the difficult times ahead. One day at a time Xx
     
  9. DollyBird16

    DollyBird16 Registered User

    Sep 5, 2017
    1,174
    Female
    Greater London
    God bless.
    Big hugs for you and your sister. XX
     
  10. myss

    myss Registered User

    Jan 14, 2018
    152
    Oh LostOne, all the best hugs to you and your sister {{LostOne}}
     
  11. love.dad.but..

    love.dad.but.. Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    3,275
    Kent
    So sorry that you and all of us have to go through this heartache but if we have to then a peaceful and comfortable end of life is what we wish for loved one and you have achieved that. Thinking of you and your family over the coming days and weeks
     
  12. campervan21

    campervan21 Registered User

    May 4, 2017
    122
    Derbyshire
  13. Scouts girl

    Scouts girl Registered User

    Jan 18, 2017
    305
    So sorry xxx
     
  14. Amethyst59

    Amethyst59 Volunteer Host

    Jul 3, 2017
    5,548
    Female
    Kent
    Bless you all. I am glad you found this forum to support you at this difficult time...remember that we will all be here for you, if you need us in the next few days, weeks or months. Many of us have been where you are now. May your lovely dad rest in peace.
     
  15. Dazmum

    Dazmum Registered User

    I’m so sorry @LostOne, but I am glad that you were able to be with your dad. Thinking of you xxx
     
  16. Soobee

    Soobee Registered User

    Aug 22, 2009
    2,737
    South
    my condolences to you, LostOne
     
  17. Rainey

    Rainey Registered User

    Jul 15, 2016
    4
    Spalding
    I felt exactly this way when my Dad died last year. He had gone downhill quickly after a serious fall and we had been told 3 weeks before that it would only be minutes but he hung in there. I decided to stay at the hospital on the Friday night as I lived 50 mile away so I was with him on my own. I am so thankful for that night we had. I talked and just when I thought he couldn't hear me he'd squeeze my hand. Around 5am I had his hand in mine leant over the cot side when he put his other hand on my head and my head went on his chest, he patted my back and smiled. I was able to say everything I wanted to knowing he understood and he attempted a smile. He died later and I was/am devastated still a year later but when things are really bad I remember that night and it gives me strength.
    My only advice to you is to make the most of this last bit of time with your Dad, the inevitable will happen and it will be no lest devastating but it will help in the days to come. God Bless
     
  18. Jumballs

    Jumballs Registered User

    Dec 4, 2013
    4
    My name is Andy and my wife's illness is a mirror image of yours nearly, diagnosed in March 2013 then in December I had to have her sectioned to go into Hospital and thats were she is now and every week she goes down hill! Shes had two seizures and not eating well and gone from a size 16 to a 12 in three months and still loosing weight with not eating properly. The consultant said two weeks ago things will change like incontinence and sleeping more. Ive just come back after two weeks away and thats happened! After being marred for nearly 40 years this coming August and been together this month for 45 years this is really **** to see my lovely wife of 60 go down hill like this.
     
  19. kayc136

    kayc136 Registered User

    Nov 19, 2016
    3
    Thinking of both of you and every member on here. My dad passed away in February very suddenly after his Alzheimers declined really rapidly. I am often overwhelmed with grief as I was there all the time helping mum and miss him so. Then I tell myself I need to think about what he would want. He was a big strong builder and hated being so weak. There was no real medical cause for his death, it says "Frailty of life " on the death certificate. I like to think he chose to go, and that he is now at peace. It is just so hard for us without him but we are starting to laugh again which is something we thought would never happen xx
     

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