Dad given days to live. Not coping!
- Thread starter LostOne
- Start date
Thinking of you and wishing you strength. Having lost my lovely mum a few weeks ago I know that it's a horrible stage, as you don't want to lose them but you also don't want them to carry on suffering. Somehow you will find the strength to cope and hopefully take comfort in being able to be with your Dad on his journey, Xx
So sorry that you and all of us have to go through this heartache but if we have to then a peaceful and comfortable end of life is what we wish for loved one and you have achieved that. Thinking of you and your family over the coming days and weeks
Bless you all. I am glad you found this forum to support you at this difficult time...remember that we will all be here for you, if you need us in the next few days, weeks or months. Many of us have been where you are now. May your lovely dad rest in peace.
I felt exactly this way when my Dad died last year. He had gone downhill quickly after a serious fall and we had been told 3 weeks before that it would only be minutes but he hung in there. I decided to stay at the hospital on the Friday night as I lived 50 mile away so I was with him on my own. I am so thankful for that night we had. I talked and just when I thought he couldn't hear me he'd squeeze my hand. Around 5am I had his hand in mine leant over the cot side when he put his other hand on my head and my head went on his chest, he patted my back and smiled. I was able to say everything I wanted to knowing he understood and he attempted a smile. He died later and I was/am devastated still a year later but when things are really bad I remember that night and it gives me strength.
My only advice to you is to make the most of this last bit of time with your Dad, the inevitable will happen and it will be no lest devastating but it will help in the days to come. God Bless
My dad was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s in 2013. He was doing well, just a few forgetful bits here and there, he was still managing to live by himself with a few checks a day from care workers. He was like that right up until November 2017 when he was sectioned and has been in hospital since. He was starting to show signs of being able to be released and after an assessment this was granted however, before we found somewhere suitable for him he declined quite rapidly. Over the last 2 months he has become bed bound, he can no longer swallow food and is only taking around 30ml of fluid per 24hours. He hasn’t opened his eyes for 36hours. On Monday he was so chatty and awake, making jokes (although we struggle to understand him as his mouth is so dry) I stupidly thought the drs were wrong and he had so much more time than they said now he’s gone again. An assessment by his dr this morning was that he might not make it until Monday unless he picks up over the weekend. My dad is only 61, I feel like I’m 18 and not coping with this at all. How do I do this? How do I leave when he passes and just go home?
I don’t have the strength to do this
My name is Andy and my wife's illness is a mirror image of yours nearly, diagnosed in March 2013 then in December I had to have her sectioned to go into Hospital and thats were she is now and every week she goes down hill! Shes had two seizures and not eating well and gone from a size 16 to a 12 in three months and still loosing weight with not eating properly. The consultant said two weeks ago things will change like incontinence and sleeping more. Ive just come back after two weeks away and thats happened! After being marred for nearly 40 years this coming August and been together this month for 45 years this is really **** to see my lovely wife of 60 go down hill like this.
Thinking of both of you and every member on here. My dad passed away in February very suddenly after his Alzheimers declined really rapidly. I am often overwhelmed with grief as I was there all the time helping mum and miss him so. Then I tell myself I need to think about what he would want. He was a big strong builder and hated being so weak. There was no real medical cause for his death, it says "Frailty of life " on the death certificate. I like to think he chose to go, and that he is now at peace. It is just so hard for us without him but we are starting to laugh again which is something we thought would never happen xx
