Dad getting very depressed

Discussion in 'Middle - later stages of dementia' started by Arley, Feb 14, 2016.

  1. Arley

    Arley Registered User

    Jan 7, 2016
    10
    Hi Folks,

    Dad has been in an assessment hospital for 6 weeks after being sectioned. He has got mixed dementia.

    Over the last week he has become very depressed. He has mentioned taking his own life and visiting is becoming a nightmare. He seems to have more lucid moments this week and he is constantly mentioning my mom. He thinks she doesn't love him any more and he has told her not to visit.
    When I visit with Mom he was very cold towards her and mentioned that she should find another husband. Obviously Mom became upset which Dad picked up on and then he seemed to come round and held her hand. He said he just wanted to come home and misses her. It was heart breaking to leave him.

    It seems to get worse visiting him, I know its a terrible thing to say but it was easier visiting when he was confused and even when he was on the edge of loosing his temper which he has done on a number of occasions.

    I can handle the aggression but seeing Dad so emotional is so upsetting. Obviously we will be there for each other as a family but this is very hard for all of us. Cannot stop thinking how scared Dad must be?

    Just needed to get this of my chest:(
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,735
    Kent
    Hello Arley

    We had this situation when my husband was in an assessment unit. The only reason he hadn`t been sectioned was because he agreed to go in voluntarily.

    At first he was very angry with me but eventually once the extreme confusion lifted he became more aware his surroundings. I think he was frightened he would have to stay there. He also threatened suicide if we didn`t get him out.

    We were able to get him home on a trail basis and , with medication, his behaviour once home was much less challenging.

    I do not know if this is possible for your dad or if your mum is well enough to have him home but it wouldn`t do any harm to ask for a meeting with his doctors to see if more can be done to help him.
     
  3. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    This is so sad for you and your Mum. It is heartbreaking to see your Dad so emotional and upset. Am sorry love but this is part of Dementia for some people. Sometimes a change of meds work and as part of his assessment I am sure all this will be checked out.

    I am replying honestly as I always do so maybe it might be a good idea not to visit for a day or two just to let your mind rest. Easier said than done. Talk to the professionals and tell them what he is saying. He might be telling them a different story.

    It is an awful disease and you are doing your best. I hope you have support from friends in your area. Keep on posting. We are all here for you.

    TP is my lifeline. Keeps me going.

    Aisling (Ireland)
     
  4. Arley

    Arley Registered User

    Jan 7, 2016
    10
    Dad is currently on a section3 due to his violent outbursts. The first 3 weeks he was in hospital he was violent too some of the nurses and the driver of the ambulance, he has been restrained on a number of occasions however the last week his behaviour has changed from aggression to emotional.
    We have already been told that Dad will probably never be well enough to come home due to the outbursts of aggression and he may remain on a section until he becomes to ill/weak not to hurt anyone.
    I haven't visited today, but Dad has just phoned me very upset as he believes that Mom is in hospital and they will not let him see her. He was begging me to come and get him.

    This is a dreadful disease, just as you think you are getting used to coping it smacks you in the face again.

    Thank you for your reply it does help sharing this
     
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,735
    Kent
    I'm so sorry you are experiencing this. There's nothing worse than wanting to help but being unable to when the person with dementia is so distressed.
     

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