Hello everyone, i have just joined this forum as yesterday my dad was diagnosed with early stage Alzheimers.
He is 86, and has been steadily declining over the last couple of years. I took him to the GP as i was concerned he seemed unable to make decisions, was confused outside of the home and appeared a bit withdrawn. He had a brain scan and has been assessed with the Memory Assessment people, yesterday they put all the tests he's had together and made the diagnosis.
I am at a loss as to what to do, my mum, who has a few health conditions of her own, doesnt seem in the slightest bit empathetic towards my dad. She constantly shouts at him all the time, tells him he is lazy and there is nothing wrong with him, threatens to throw herself into the sea, talks about nothing but how much he gets on her nerves and how she has to do everything!! i tell her he cannot help it, but she doesnt appear to have the tiniest bit of empathy for him. It was his birthday a few weeks ago, and when i went round with a card and present, she was just shouting at him, saying how she hopes he drops dead!!! poor man was trying to repair a chair she had been complaining about, totally ignoring her vile outburst at him!! she just kept repeating she would just burn the house down and she wished he would drop dead. Yesterday after his diagnosis, i went round to take his blood pressure as the lady from the centre had asked me, mum just kept going on about her own blood pressure, and her back ache!! didnt ask me about what had been said in the assessment with dad!!! i just ignored her, and then she stormed off in a huff saying "its always dad, never me"!! this is not true!! she gets alot of attention about her complaints, and my dad just stands by quietly!!! i realised yesterday, my mother is a narcissist, with zero empathy, everything has to be about her, or she has a meltdown, she doesnt care about anyone really. My daughters dont really like going round there as she always slags off their other grandma, and their father!!!!! she has always been nasty at times, but am wondering if anyone else has experience of this dreadful behaviour? its really making me feel quite low. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this!! i hope it makes sense!!! xxx
He is 86, and has been steadily declining over the last couple of years. I took him to the GP as i was concerned he seemed unable to make decisions, was confused outside of the home and appeared a bit withdrawn. He had a brain scan and has been assessed with the Memory Assessment people, yesterday they put all the tests he's had together and made the diagnosis.
I am at a loss as to what to do, my mum, who has a few health conditions of her own, doesnt seem in the slightest bit empathetic towards my dad. She constantly shouts at him all the time, tells him he is lazy and there is nothing wrong with him, threatens to throw herself into the sea, talks about nothing but how much he gets on her nerves and how she has to do everything!! i tell her he cannot help it, but she doesnt appear to have the tiniest bit of empathy for him. It was his birthday a few weeks ago, and when i went round with a card and present, she was just shouting at him, saying how she hopes he drops dead!!! poor man was trying to repair a chair she had been complaining about, totally ignoring her vile outburst at him!! she just kept repeating she would just burn the house down and she wished he would drop dead. Yesterday after his diagnosis, i went round to take his blood pressure as the lady from the centre had asked me, mum just kept going on about her own blood pressure, and her back ache!! didnt ask me about what had been said in the assessment with dad!!! i just ignored her, and then she stormed off in a huff saying "its always dad, never me"!! this is not true!! she gets alot of attention about her complaints, and my dad just stands by quietly!!! i realised yesterday, my mother is a narcissist, with zero empathy, everything has to be about her, or she has a meltdown, she doesnt care about anyone really. My daughters dont really like going round there as she always slags off their other grandma, and their father!!!!! she has always been nasty at times, but am wondering if anyone else has experience of this dreadful behaviour? its really making me feel quite low. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this!! i hope it makes sense!!! xxx