Dad demanding cash in carehome

Nais

New member
Apr 23, 2019
1
Hi
My dad is in a carehome. They don’t want him to have money and I understand the reasons. However dad is very insistent that I leave him money. He has ‘lost’ one wallet with £20 and I’ve reluctant to give him more but dread going to visit as he is obsessed with wanting cash - notes especially.
Have other members any suggestions please ? Thankyou
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,351
Kent
Cash does make people feel secure. My husband used to refuse food at meal times because he said he had no money to pay for it.

Would your dad accept you giving money to the manager to hold for him?

I did give my husband a wallet with a couple of £5 notes. It didn`t last long and the staff were embarrassed.

It`s a difficult one isn`t it.

The time did come when my husband forgot about holding his own money.
 

pipd

Registered User
Apr 12, 2015
78
Leigh on Sea Essex
I have heard of others giving their loved ones fake money to have in their purses or wallets in care homes just to satisfy the need to have cash. Might be worth a try.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,300
South coast
I used to give mum fake money and she was very happy with it
You can get some from ebay and amazon (among other places) - it is considered toy money for children, but most PWDs couldnt tell the difference.
You can also get napkins with images of £10 and £20 printed on them. I cut them out, used them for mum and was surprised that she accepted them.
I have also heard of people colour photocopying notes and pasting the 2 sides of the images together.

Take your pick - they are all cheap and easy to replace when they got lost. It just gives them a sense of security knowing that they have some "money" on them.
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
597
High Peak
Cash does make people feel secure. My husband used to refuse food at meal times because he said he had no money to pay for it.

Would your dad accept you giving money to the manager to hold for him?

I did give my husband a wallet with a couple of £5 notes. It didn`t last long and the staff were embarrassed.

It`s a difficult one isn`t it.

The time did come when my husband forgot about holding his own money.
This is so familiar! Mum says she goes out 'to town' on the bus (she doesn't) and complained she had no money to pay her fare. Ditto when they come round with the forms that you have to sign and you have to give money (huh?) and she - poor woman - doesn't have a penny to her name.

When she first went in the care home she had about £40 in her purse in notes plus a few coins. All gone - lost/hidden/nicked/flushed - who knows? (Mum recently had her jewellery stolen but that's another story.)

So I'm now working with dementia rather than against it and have purchased some 'old money' (easily found on eBay and elsewhere.) I have a few old green pound notes and several ten shilling notes. As mum is very much living in the past, this has worked and if they do go missing it doesn't matter.