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Dad continued

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,600
cornwall
I went and saw dad yesterday. He was pleased to see me. I explained that I had cancelled the carers for lunch and tea so we could have no interruptions. Dad will not eat if the carer is coming as he will wait for them,even whilst I am there.(New thing as before it never bothered him). He is eating but not so much as before . He has lost weight. Not a huge amount but enough to see in his face and bottom..Plus he had on clothes that used to not fit him .
I was asked to try and get him weighed. That was a palaver as dad can no longer weight bear on his own.. I couldn’t manage it . He used to sit on the scales down at the home but no longer goes there. So I will try OT today as they do loan equipment (dad already has loads)and see if they do the sit on scales.Otherwise not sure how to do it unless I try a big postal scales(like the vets)as dad could see that and maybe that will work.
Whilst there I also found mouldy yeast buns out of date. So I took a photo. Plus I washed dads hair (Nobody had done it as I hadn’t asked in over a month )Personally I feel I shouldn’t have to ask as it’s part of personal care but hey ho!.I also took a photo of dads head as he has a sore on it and no body had body mapped it.(carers should be body mapping any marks on body or head.)I had also spoken to dad’s doctor about ensure drinks for dad when he is not hungry.They arrived 😀I told dad what I had done and why. I always like things put in place ,just in case. You never know. I emailed all the photo’s to the care company. Apparently all is now on the system and app for them to document everything.
There was a bonus that 2new members of staff documented that dad has a discharge (infection) and will keep an eye on it.
Funny how nobody in this last month reported it.(I had already done so and sent photos to doctor)This is just a moan and groan narrative.
I took dad in the garden which he loved and we were sat listening to the birds. He did get upset though as he cannot go out or do what he used to do. But there was nothing I could say to that. We all on here know that it is not going to get better.
But I did cheer him up a bit when I said that mum and my daughter were coming over for his birthday (15th) with a cake.Plus I actually managed to get an Asda delivery booked for the 11th😀Not too bad a day really.
 

Moggymad

Registered User
May 12, 2017
500
You have an awful lot on your plate @TNJJ so I am pleased that there was something positive from the carers & that overall you had a not too bad a day! The hair washing was something I found I had to keep asking homecarers to do. Like you I considered it was part of personal care. The carer said it wasn't done because mum couldn't be showered ( shower in bath & unable to get in). Some strange logic. Mouldy food not good. It's interesting it's the newer carers who noticed infection. Hope things improve & you feel better supported in caring for your dad.
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,600
cornwall
You have an awful lot on your plate @TNJJ so I am pleased that there was something positive from the carers & that overall you had a not too bad a day! The hair washing was something I found I had to keep asking homecarers to do. Like you I considered it was part of personal care. The carer said it wasn't done because mum couldn't be showered ( shower in bath & unable to get in). Some strange logic. Mouldy food not good. It's interesting it's the newer carers who noticed infection. Hope things improve & you feel better supported in caring for your dad.
Thanks. Dad cannot get into the shower either but I bought all the gadgets that they asked me to get for hair washing in the bed.Lets hope it improves 😀
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,600
cornwall
The cleaner who used to be a carer is coming Monday to try and get dad weighed with me. He has lost some muscle mass so when walking his knees are bending. So he will end up on the floor if not careful.It also looks like dads skin cancer is back on his scalp. Sent a photo to the doctor as it is sore..
Let’s hope for a better day.
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,600
cornwall
You are having a rough time ATM @TNJJ . I hope for a better day for you too
xx
Thanks@Canary. I know I shouldn’t say it but I just want things over now.I know it’s still a long path and it sounds awful but I do. Dad is suffering now. Not in pain but with mental health.Awful to watch and as his kidneys are getting worse (now34efgr) alongside his heart failure the body with the mind is an ongoing battle.
I’m no different to anyone else on here with their (PWD) .I hope I have not offended anyone with what I have said.Not everyone thinks like me.
 

Starbright

Registered User
Apr 8, 2018
526
@TNJJ My oh had rapid response carers for 6 weeks after surgery just before Christmas and one of the carers used to use a soapy face cloth to wash his hair and then rinse in the same way ... hope that makes sense. Although don’t know if that would be ok given your dads skin problem.
((( hugs))) take care. ....A x
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
1,923
Thanks@Canary. I know I shouldn’t say it but I just want things over now.I know it’s still a long path and it sounds awful but I do. Dad is suffering now. Not in pain but with mental health.Awful to watch and as his kidneys are getting worse (now34efgr) alongside his heart failure the body with the mind is an ongoing battle.
I’m no different to anyone else on here with their (PWD) .I hope I have not offended anyone with what I have said.Not everyone thinks like me.
I understand your feeling that way @TNJJ I felt the same with dad especially during the last year. Wanting it over is perfectly normal so don't feel guilty, I am sure that many others on here feel the same. It's the final long drawn out decline that is so hard to watch especially as there is nothing that you can do to make things better.

I stopped weighing dad towards the end. I could see that he was emaciated and it was clear that he would not be able to regain weight again so there seemed no point although I did try to get some nourishment into him for a while. He had lost huge amounts of weight on previous occasions and I had managed to get it back on him but once he had the hospital bed it was clear that he would not regain weight as he could only manage a teaspoon of food at a time and then he was full.

It is an extremely hard and difficult time and I can only wish you strength and some peace of mind.
 

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