1. Scoop

    Scoop Registered User

    Nov 20, 2006
    99
    Well Dad went in for assessment just over a week ago - seems longer somehow. He had showed the night problems we had been getting at home so they are trying him on a different sleeping tablet now. Up until yesterday Mum has been dealing quite well with him being in there but she came away very upset yesterday...

    Dad had had a mishap during the night and pee'd on the floor while trying to get to the toilet ( we have had a couple of similar accidents late at night before ) so they stuck an incontinence pad in his pants:mad:, he was still wearing it at 11am yesterday, was unshaven and didn't have his glasses. After inspecting dad in the middle of the lounge :mad: the nurse took dad off and removed the pad, they found his glasses in his drawer etc. He didn't look cared for at all, certainly not with any dignity :(

    After she left she burst into tears and very nearly went back to demand she took him home.

    I am currently waiting a call back from his specialist there to find out what is going on, it's hard enough leaving him there for 2 weeks but the last thing we need is encouraging things like incontinence ( Those that have potty trained kids know you don't put a nappy on for convenience as it helps none! )

    Feel so sorry for mum, she was at a real low last night when she should be taking it easy.. she just wants him home but knows she can't look after him 24/7 (rock and hard place comes to mind)

    To top it off I have just started treatment for shingles:( Not confirmed yet as no rash has appeared, apparently I will know in the next 24hours (Side of my face and over my head) Really hope that doesn't develop!

    On the good side I completed training and qualified as a first aider at work this work, didn't realise how stressful that would be on top of everything else :eek: but it's done and will no doubt be of benefit along the way. Got a great sense of achievement from it.

    Going to start looking into the local care homes now too, intially for respite but ultimatley the time will come, need to be prepared.

    Oh for a quiet life, wife is expecting in 3 1/2 weeks now :eek:


    Scott
     
  2. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    3,388
    Buckinghamshire
    Dear Scott,
    I know that feeling when I saw my husband in exactly the same state as your Dad. When Peter was at home and double incontinent,he was always clean, shaven and I am disabled. So I did kick up one big stink with all involved.
    So sorry to hear that you could have shingles-very painful.
    It must be very stressful with your wife expecting soon without all the addition stress brought on by incompetent people.
    Good luck in passing your First Aid Course.
    I wish you all the best in finding a Care Home .That is hard enough to do finding the best one that you can
    Take care of yourself.
    Best wishes
    Christine
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,664
    Kent
    I`m so sorry about your father`s treatment Scott and can understand your mother`s tears.

    Your father going in for an assessment should have given your mother the opportunity to recharge her batteries. Instead she has to witness the neglect of a very vulnerable man. It is unacceptable and yet seems to happen to so many.

    And you could do without shingles.

    Well done on qualifying as a First Aider.

    Take care xx
     
  4. TinaT

    TinaT Registered User

    Sep 27, 2006
    7,095
    Bolton
    My personal experiences have mirrored your own situation. As Syliva says, this low level neglect should not happen in our hospitals but happens all over the country on a daily basis. The untold misery and mental anguish caused to carers is hard to bear.

    As many TP people know, Ken my husband has been on a continuous care ward for a long time now and we are waiting a placement in a good care home. Meanwhile he is on a ward with some very violent and disruptive men who are taking up 90% of the staff's time. There is not much care and companionship for the quieter souls on the ward as the nurses time is fully taken up with the violent and disruptive! I have recently been given permission to bring him home from 10am until 7pm because both the staff and the consultant realise the very difficult ward situation at present. He goes back on the ward each night and I get some uninterrupted sleep so that I can have the patience and energy to cope with him during the day.

    I have just visited yet another private care home where there are 23 patients per floor and three separate floors, each with their own dining/sitting room etc. Each floor has between 21/23 patients all of whome are at severe stages of dementia. There are 3 care assistants per floor. The charge per week for each patient is £560. For this money they provide 7 patients per carer! How they manage at lunchtimes, getting dressed and washed etc., I just do not know. How can this staffing level be sanctioned by the CSCI?.

    xxTinaT
     
  5. Scoop

    Scoop Registered User

    Nov 20, 2006
    99
    Well no call back yet so I called the ward instead, not sure who I spoke to ( having asked the name of the first person I spoke to the phoned got passed over and I forgot to ask :rolleyes: ) but she was aware of what had happened yesterday and apologised for it saying he certainly would be left with a pad in again. He was on good form and was in the background while I was on the phone and did sound bright enough ( Mum reckoned it was probably the nurse he describes as "the nice one" so he probably follows her everywhere :D).

    She did said he didn't go to sleep until 3:20 this morning though :eek: so it doesn't look like the new tablets are helping just yet:( Told Mum and I think it made her realise it's not quite the right thing to do to just bring him home just yet.

    She seemed a bit happier that I had phoned and made a point about yesterday, hopefully they may keep a better eye on him now - hopefully going to see him this weekend as long as I don't wake up tomorrow covered in spots :mad:

    Scott
     
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,664
    Kent
    Dear Scott,
    As long s your mother feels your father is being cared for, she`ll be OK. It`s the thought of him being neglected and forgotten that upsets her so much, and you too.
    I`m glad you managed to chat to a nurse who cares.
    Love xx
     
  7. Scoop

    Scoop Registered User

    Nov 20, 2006
    99
    Went to visit Dad this afternoon, he was pleased to see us - once we found him he was at the far end of the corridor on walkabouts :D it's the first time I have had chance to visit since dropping him off and I was shocked.

    Not that I think he has deteriorated significantly, clearly the every day out to the beach/gardencentre/supermarket stimulation etc isn't there so he is a bit down but what shocked me was the tricks my own mind had been playing over the 10 days, I had forgotten how bad he really is :( I was remembering my old Dad but the conversations were the same confused unfinished sentences, he does seem settled in the environment he is in (institutionalised my Mum calls it), he did ask about going home more to walk the dog than getting home :rolleyes: but there was no effort to follow us out when we left ( the opposite if anything). Infact they don't lock the lift down at all, if any patient wanted to the could press the button get in the lift and head down to the lower floor but no-one even attempts it.

    Bit of an eye opener for sure, he was clean, shaven and with glasses and no incontinence pad so that was much better! Although the pads were in Dad's room so I am guessing at nights they maybe getting used - I won't ask it won't upset me then!

    As for me.. at least no rash yet, I don't feel 100% yet but hopefully no shingles - that I didn't need!

    Cheers

    Scott
     

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