Hi I'm wondering if my mum would benefit from having a cuddly toy. I believe it can help with anxiety and help to calm someone down. Has anyone any experience of this and if so is there a toy you could recommend? My mum is 91 and in all honesty was never a one for soft toys. So I'm not sure if its a good idea or not. I've just seen the Japanese cuddly robot on TV. I don't think we could run to that its over $4000.
cuddly toy
- Thread starter greasysprout
- Start date
Hi Greasysprout and welcome to TP.
I have used soft toys for a long time and yes it does have a soothing and comforting effect in different situations.
I bought a very soft, small but very efficient toy dog and it cost approx $5.00
It is a distraction and a good way to talk about something.
If your Mom was never a 'soft toy' person maybe you could just get a nice knee blanket or shall with her favourite colours.
All the best
I have used soft toys for a long time and yes it does have a soothing and comforting effect in different situations.
I bought a very soft, small but very efficient toy dog and it cost approx $5.00
It is a distraction and a good way to talk about something.
If your Mom was never a 'soft toy' person maybe you could just get a nice knee blanket or shall with her favourite colours.
All the best
Hi!
I'm sorry I have no experience of cuddly toys for dementia sufferers. I do know that others have used these with a lot of success. I hope someone will be along soon to share their experience.
This is one of the other threads which discusses doll therapy -
http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?62821-Too-degrading
I'm sorry I have no experience of cuddly toys for dementia sufferers. I do know that others have used these with a lot of success. I hope someone will be along soon to share their experience.
This is one of the other threads which discusses doll therapy -
http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?62821-Too-degrading
There is such a thing as doll therapy that can work as you are suggesting. A baby doll with a blanket to wrap it in can work wonders. Introduce it by holding it on your knee. When you see a spark of interest then offer her a chance to hold the baby. Then you can ask her to mind the baby for a few minutes while you nip to the shops. You don't need to spend a lot of money. Many charity shops have dolls and baby blankets for next to nothing. It really is a case of nothing ventured nothing gained. If it does work then it can bring companionship and comfort and something for them to feel responsible for.
Fiona
Fiona
My mother has a menagerie of small stuffed toys that live on a trolley next to her chair, plus three that she has on her bed. We've always talked to our dolls and toys in our family. I think the reasoning is that if you love a toy and cuddle and talk to it then it develops a personality. In Margery Williams' book The Velveteen Rabbit, the Skin Horse explains how a toy becomes Real: http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/1602074-the-velveteen-rabbit
MIL was never a soft toy person and when I suggested getting her a lifelike stuffed dog or cat she was scornful of the idea. This was when her cat died and she said how much she missed having something to talk to. She said she wouldn't want to talk to a toy, wouldn't enjoy stroking it, and would just keep being upset when she saw it and realised it wasn't 'real', i.e. alive.
When MIL went into hospital 6 months ago her daughter brought in a couple of stuffed toys that she had bought at the charity shop (knowing that they would probably have to be thrown away or boil washed, so no point in spending a lot of money). MIL was embarrassed with the toys, kept trying to give them away, and didn't like them. After a few weeks she started to carry one around with her in her hands, or tuck it inside her cardigan, or put it in her trousers pocket. In the 2 care homes she has been in since she seems to have developed much more comfort from the toys. She took a dislike to one of them so it was replaced by a couple of different ones, all quite cheaply from the charity shop.
She does get comfort from them but won't admit it and gets annoyed if unsuspecting people ask about their names or where they came from. How they heck would she know? She's never seen them before. One of the grandchildren must have left them behind. Here, take it away, do you want it?
MIL was never a soft toy person and when I suggested getting her a lifelike stuffed dog or cat she was scornful of the idea. This was when her cat died and she said how much she missed having something to talk to. She said she wouldn't want to talk to a toy, wouldn't enjoy stroking it, and would just keep being upset when she saw it and realised it wasn't 'real', i.e. alive.
When MIL went into hospital 6 months ago her daughter brought in a couple of stuffed toys that she had bought at the charity shop (knowing that they would probably have to be thrown away or boil washed, so no point in spending a lot of money). MIL was embarrassed with the toys, kept trying to give them away, and didn't like them. After a few weeks she started to carry one around with her in her hands, or tuck it inside her cardigan, or put it in her trousers pocket. In the 2 care homes she has been in since she seems to have developed much more comfort from the toys. She took a dislike to one of them so it was replaced by a couple of different ones, all quite cheaply from the charity shop.
She does get comfort from them but won't admit it and gets annoyed if unsuspecting people ask about their names or where they came from. How they heck would she know? She's never seen them before. One of the grandchildren must have left them behind. Here, take it away, do you want it?
I gave my husband quite a realistic looking stuffed dog. It's beautifully soft and looks very like our golden retriever did as a puppy and he seems to think it's real. He really loves it even though it is now smaller and less fluffy and less stuffed due to the number of washings the home laundry have put him through!
A baby doll might be a lovely idea; have seen residents in my mothers CH carrying dolls around and it seems to give them great comfort.
If your mother is a 'cat' person there is a very realistic range of toys called FurReal. They sell a lifesize cat that looks so realistic. It can be brushed or stroked and can be animated with batteries but that is not a practical option. They are really lovely toys and do a range of different animals. Am sure you could get one second hand on ebay if you did not want to fork out for a brand new one, just to see how she reacts. They are also a talking point for the staff if the toy is kept in the room etc. Am sure she would love something to cuddle and fuss over.
If your mother is a 'cat' person there is a very realistic range of toys called FurReal. They sell a lifesize cat that looks so realistic. It can be brushed or stroked and can be animated with batteries but that is not a practical option. They are really lovely toys and do a range of different animals. Am sure you could get one second hand on ebay if you did not want to fork out for a brand new one, just to see how she reacts. They are also a talking point for the staff if the toy is kept in the room etc. Am sure she would love something to cuddle and fuss over.
Hi Greasysprout,
My M also was never into soft toys or dolls and had always been negative about people who had them.
However last year I popped a small soft rabbit and small teddy in each of her egg boxes we gave her for easter, with a ready answer that they must have just come with the eggs!!. The toys ended up in her drawer then I think she gave one to a carer or visiting child.
So I agree don't spend too much in case it doesn't work.
This easter my son gave her a larger Lamb, to sit on the bed and surprisingly that stayed on her bed - helped by the lovely carers and the fact that it was my son who gave it. It may have disappeared now (I am only able to visit a few times a year) but she seemed tickled by it!
The plan is to try again, for as she deteriorates I think when she's not mobile a soft toy may give comfort.
So I'd say it's definitely worth a try
best wishes
Meercat
My M also was never into soft toys or dolls and had always been negative about people who had them.
However last year I popped a small soft rabbit and small teddy in each of her egg boxes we gave her for easter, with a ready answer that they must have just come with the eggs!!. The toys ended up in her drawer then I think she gave one to a carer or visiting child.
So I agree don't spend too much in case it doesn't work.
This easter my son gave her a larger Lamb, to sit on the bed and surprisingly that stayed on her bed - helped by the lovely carers and the fact that it was my son who gave it. It may have disappeared now (I am only able to visit a few times a year) but she seemed tickled by it!
The plan is to try again, for as she deteriorates I think when she's not mobile a soft toy may give comfort.
So I'd say it's definitely worth a try
best wishes
Meercat
Hi my mum loves her cuddly toys which have now blossomed to 4 of them. We even have to go and buy them clothes - we have a drawer full of baby clothes but she loves dressing them and when she goes to bed I can hear her talking to them. One I specifically like is a teddy who has a lavender bean bag which you putinto microwave for a minute and the teddy is lovely and warm and mum cuddles it-lavender is calming - sometimes it works ! I keep saying if you get any more you wont fit into your bed! I know it seems babyish but mum cuddles them, sings to them and they do no harm whatsoever.
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I got my mum a cute smiling buddha made from resin (ie not soft but a little statue. 15 bucks at the chemist.) It talks to her. I don't know if she talks back but it seems to be comforting and has stayed put for a couple of months now. Mums 89. Another lady has a couple of dolls, one of which is herself and any mag with pics help her form a story about the various things the dolls get up to.
Go for something inexpensive, because it may get lost or she may not have interest in it. You could try 3 things:
Baby doll
Animal (cat or dog soft toy)
Teddy
One might be a hit, or she might choose different ones on different days.
Baby doll
Animal (cat or dog soft toy)
Teddy
One might be a hit, or she might choose different ones on different days.
I took in a small dog at first but it wasn't lifelike and my husband didn't relate to it at all. The one he has now is much larger, the size of a real retriever puppy and so very soft. He does seem to love it. As it's getting so thin due to the frequent washings in the home machine, I'm on the lookout for a replacement!
Thank you for all your posts and suggestions. I was thinking that it was a bit degrading to offer my mum a doll or cuddly toy. On reflection it might be more about me not wanting to see my mum with a toy. I think I'll have a look in the charity shops and see if there is anything suitable and give it a try.
