1. Geraldine

    Geraldine Registered User

    Oct 17, 2003
    143
    Nottingham
    Talking about crying - mentioned in an earlier thread. My Mum is in final stage Alzheimer's losing weight, recently not knowing when to swallow, looking very frail. I am hurtling towards the menopause with my hormones all over the place. I am also tackling the Court of Protection annual accounts form. I consequently spend a lot of each day in tears through one thing and another. Sunday was a very bad day - as if I did not have enough to cry about - The Railway Children was on ....Daddy my Daddy always does it for me and the little girl Kirsty with the life limiting heart condition was on Sports Personality of the Year - cue more floods of tears!

    regards as ever

    Geraldine
     
  2. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Geraldine, just your post did it for me! I had my insides wrenched 3 years ago, hysterectomy by their demand or I wouldn't be here now. Since then, been through same as you although didn't have to do actual accounts, don't know why? You are obviously feeling very vulnerable. If you need to talk, we are here and we are non judgemental as there are many ways to deal with each problem. You just take what you want from what we give if you know what I mean. End stage is so hard, no one can say when, how long, etc. Nightmare or what!! You have every right to cry my love, I am crying with you. There are no easy answers, but please share, it helped me and it will stop you feeling so alone. Thinking of you, love She. XX
     
  3. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Geraldine
    don't worry about crying ,we all do it.
    I think sometimes if I didn't I would explode.
    It's all this lousy disease coupled with anger ,depression and frustration.
    Come and talk when you feel the need
    Norman
     
  4. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Norm, love you lots, you say it all, love She. XX
     
  5. freefairy

    freefairy Registered User

    Nov 2, 2004
    31
    Colchester
    Hi All

    I find i cry much more at things i never would have in the past, people see me as a strong person but inside i am as soft as can be, even some of the adverts get it for me!!

    I buried my dear friend on monday, only 3 months ago he was well, but after falling and not being able to get up he was sent to hospital where they discovered his brain was riddled with tumors, they operated but wasn't able to help him. :(

    Dad is still in hospital (2 weeks today), If only mum would take the rest she so deserves, but being someone who has depression herself, is finding life without dad there with her very difficult, we are waiting for his care plan to be put in place before they will let him home, he got well after his chest infection but it seems he has another one brewing, are people with AD more prone to chest infections? i've seen a few posts where they have been mentioned.

    If we don't cry we end up being time bombs waiting to go off.

    Anger, depression and frustration, Norman you got it in one.

    I am so glad i discovered this site, i'm begining to feel in a world where many understand. :)

    Sheryl
     
  6. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Hi Sheryl, can only speak from own experiences, but my Mum had one after the other despite antibiotics. So sorry things are so hard right now, you have a double wammy dealing with your Dad in hospital and your Mum so lost without him. The frustration is one of the hardest I found, you can cry, but you can't sort it out with this illness, you know you can't win and thats what frustrates so round and round you go. So very sorry about the death of your dear friend, this must add greatly to your shoulder load at present. What can I say except, your friend is no longer suffering and that we at TP are here for you when you need a listening ear. Thinking of you and sending you a big hug, love She. XX
     
  7. Chesca

    Chesca Guest

    Dear Geraldine

    That's a fine old molotov cocktail of emotional upheaval you're going through. I am familiar with that desolation, two out of three, no paperwork though. We're all with you, don't forget. This time of year doesn't help either, when families are supposed to draw together as we look forward to the new year. For many of us the new year will be the same as the old, that's the impotence of the situation.

    I thought as time went by it would be easier in that I would become more accepting and resigned to the inevitability of it all. Big mistake, that! As time goes on it has become harder and I break out in fresh places, too. I've stopped raging against it most of the time and just go with the tears. It helps to have somebody handy for a reassuring hug - but if the passing window cleaner is all that's available, be careful, people may talk!

    Isn't it one of the ironies of life that the ravages of caring for somebody you love with AD, invariably occurs at the time of life for the carer when the menopause hits, the children have all left home or your looking forward to spending the future doing a little of what you had always planned for this time. Then Bang! your hormones decide it's party time just when you need your wits about you and all of your emotional reserves. Trying to deal with madness when your own sanity has taken temporary leave!

    You ARE a glutton for punishment, too! The Railway Children. I watched Polyanna a couple of weeks ago and cried throughout - my Mum took me to see this when I was small. I was wrecked. One of the things I CAN'T do is listen to music which, for somebody brought up to it and trained to play it, is a big missing chunk of me.

    We'll get there, honey. Somehow.

    Take good care of yourself, we need you too.
    Chesca
    X
     
  8. barraf

    barraf Registered User

    Mar 27, 2004
    308
    Huddersfield
    We all cry, some in public some in private but no matter where we are all affected.

    My crying is mainly brought on by a feeling of impotence caused by this dreadful disease. I can fight officialdom and physical difficulties but in AD there is nothing substantial to fight. It is like trying to hold back steam with your bare hands, it just slips through your fingers.

    Just when we should be enjoying our retirement and each other's company with no real restrictions, this horrible blight comes along and ruins what could have been some of the happiest days of our lives.

    We know it can only get worse so there is no wonder we are reduced to tears. My only consolation is that Margaret doesn't seem to worry and she never cries. So at least one of us seems to escape the full brunt of Alzheimer's.

    A wet eyed Barraf
     
  9. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Baraff
    snap
    Norman
     
  10. Emma-Rebecca

    Emma-Rebecca Registered User

    Dec 17, 2004
    10
    Devon
    After so many years of holding back tears and pretending to myself that I'm fine and everything else is fine, I have discovered since my Grandma's death that crying is like a safety valve for me. I thought people would think I had lost the plot but they generally don't. Most people want to help. I have discovered that I am better off embracing it and accepting it. I broke down in the street the other day outside Woolworths. A woman did actually stop and ask me if I was ok, she was lovely. Restored my faith in human nature.

    Love Emma
     
  11. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Emma, just goes to show we are all human. If we see another in trouble and we reach out a hand, it is worth more than any other thing we could do at that moment. To help each other and to try to understand, don't come easy, but it's a wonderful gift if you can give it and a lifeline to receive. Love She. XX
     
  12. freefairy

    freefairy Registered User

    Nov 2, 2004
    31
    Colchester
    Hello Emma

    We all cry at times, believe me, i've shed many a tear recently. Only a few days i shed a tear or two at work (not the best place to cry believe me!) but the smallest of things can set any of us off.

    These rooms have really helped me, knowing there's others here who understand is a godsend.

    Take care
    Sheryl x
     
  13. Kriss

    Kriss Registered User

    May 20, 2004
    513
    Shropshire
    Just gone off blubbing again! I'm trying so hard to believe that Christmas can be better this year but it's so hard. I haven't posted much over the past few weeks. Can't hold it together long enough. The second anniversary of Dad's passing was only days ago and I feel it should be getting easier but its not. Got to face up to our last visit pre-Christmas to Aunty tomorrow knowing this will be the first year she hasn't been with us on the day in my memory. Hearing that Susan has just lost her Dad brings it all back and I wonder how many others in the world are going through this and maybe much worse as I write.

    I probably need a good shaking don't I! See we're all at it in different ways. Ok going to mop up now, will probably feel better till tomorrow at least!

    Goodnight all

    Kriss
     
  14. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Kriss, you are more in need of a hug than a shake girl, so I'm sending you one now XX. Don't forget we are all trying to meet here for a darn good Christmas blubb,(well at least then we will all have a shoulder won't we!) on Christmas eve , I think Cheska said midnight if my memory is serving me. Love She.XX
     
  15. nikita

    nikita Registered User

    Jul 31, 2004
    92
    whenever i read these posts i have a good cry it just helps you put a smile on your face. it is always harder at this time of year,
     
  16. gladys

    gladys Registered User

    Dec 21, 2004
    13
    usa
    When I first learned of my mum's (starting to talk like you, my friends across the pond) problems, back about 6 months ago, I would cry all the way home from her house after tucking her in for the night. It seems like that is all I did for a long time, but it has eased up a bit. I think it's good to cry, get it out, and then I can move on, tho' I'm still sad alot of the time. I never let my mum see my sadness, only my joy and happiness (mostly faked).

    Love,
    Gladys
     
  17. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Hi Gladys, yes, I know what you mean about a cheery front alright. But, don't be afraid to share things that you would have shared in the past with your Mum even if they are sad. When our dogs died, Mum cried with us and felt part of it. When my son was really down, my Mum was the one who sat and quietly held his hand even though she had severe dementia and was in a wheelchair. She was still my Mum if you know what I mean, all her love and caring ways, the darn disease couldn't take it all away completely and it was good to have her share with us even if it was a tear or two at times. Love She. XX
     

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