thanks all, Kathleen, money where my bro is concerned is he has it, we don't.
Mum, just b4 she had the incident that caused the dementia told me a story from 1940 when my uncle phillip married aunty venus (the other one with dementia) and her family held the wedding.
Mum said they treated them as if they were riff raff, barely tolerated.
On the train back she asked why and my grandad said " because they don't know any better, but we do", mum said my bro was just like that family, ashamed to have relations without money, mind u he's always been like that.
He made it clear, its my job, and fine I wouldn't have changed a thing ovr the past 14yrs, but he isn't stepping in now cause he thinks he can show other ppl he looks good and knows what he's talking about as a unit manager for a few psychiatric wards.
I let him know mum was in hospital, not so he can tell staff what he wants, but so he can visit mum if anything happened it would not be right, but then I think family comes first, even the bad ones
hugs
David