• Expert Q&A: Rare dementias - Tues 3 March, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of rare dementias. It will be hosted by Nikki and Seb from Rare Dementia Support. If you have any questions about rare dementias, they will be here to answer them on Tuesday 3 March between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

crisis here too

connie

Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
9,519
Frinton-on-Sea
David, just picked up your post.

Mum is now in the best place to be properly treated for the pneumonia.
Try not to worry too much about the unusual heartbeat until you have more info.
Thinking about you at this difficult time.

Please let us know how mum gets on. Take care of yourself, Connie
 

Loiner

Registered User
Oct 29, 2005
73
Leeds, UK
erm, i just rang up, she's still in casualty, i was told it wouldn't be long for bed so I came home at 3:30, and er... feel guilty now, lol
 

connie

Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
9,519
Frinton-on-Sea
David, no guilt trips, thats an order. She is in good hands, and there is nothing practical you can do.
Try and get a good nights rest, ready to see mum tomorrow. Fingers crossed for you . Connie
 

Jude

Registered User
Dec 11, 2003
2,287
66
Tully, Qld, Australia
Dear David,

Absolutely no point in you staying awake and fretting. You need to sleep to deal with what's happening during the daytime. Am thinking of you.

Jude
 

Loiner

Registered User
Oct 29, 2005
73
Leeds, UK
actually they found her a bed, on a surgical ward, male side, at 00:30am
not good service imho
they'll transfer her to an appropriate ward, when they have a bed
now, I am off to bed
ni ni

David
 

Loiner

Registered User
Oct 29, 2005
73
Leeds, UK
I am so ******* angry pardon my language its unbelievable. They moved her at 3am to another ward.
I just rang them up, the new ward and was grilled by the sister of the ward. She was saying mum was in a 'right state' and covered in pressure sores. mum has one prssure sore i missed on lower right leg at back, fair enough, what she calls the other pressure sores are tears in the skin, her skin is so thin it can rip from simple movement as the ambulance crew found out yesterday they ended up putting 3 swab patches on where they tore her while moving.

She talked to my brother and has a meeting with him at dinnertime, this is the same brother who hasn't visited for a yr, and cause he's a nurse thinks he take over her treatment whenever she is in hospital, he really hacked off mums consultant on her regular ward last year.
I am the next of kin, not him, and am about ready to blow a fuse

David
 
I

inmyname

Guest
What does your brother stand to gain out of this ?

Dont like to be suspicous but have seen this kind of thing quite often if a relative wants to gain something later .
 

connie

Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
9,519
Frinton-on-Sea
Dear David, of course you are angry..........angry with said brother ( there seems to be at least one like that in every family)............angry at your mum's treatment over the bed situation ( but at least she is settled now).

Channel the anger into energy to change the things you are in control of, and try to rise above the rest. You know you are doing your very best for mum.

Take care now, Connie
 

Loiner

Registered User
Oct 29, 2005
73
Leeds, UK
I've been down and had quite a 'chat' with this sister of the ward, I blew all her points out of the water, and pointed out I was insulted to be acused of not looking after mum properly, then it was the "oh I didn't mean to imply..." etc etc
half of mums prob like being dehydrated was from being on a hospital trolley for 14hrs and not being able to ask for a drink.....
I dealt with it all like that
I also informed them tho my brother would probably be trying to tell them what he wanted he has no right over mums care.
I am angry at being upset like this, and fed up, the district nurse sister backs me 100% so least i have that support but if I get any more **** i complain

David
 

connie

Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
9,519
Frinton-on-Sea
Well done David. You seem to have dealt with today's issues in a very reasonable way. Please let us know how mum progresses. Connie
 

Kathleen

Registered User
Mar 12, 2005
639
65
West Sussex
David

You seem to be doing an excellent job of looking after your Mum.

As for your dear brother, I have one like that, money first, Mum second. At least we know we are doing our very best for our Mums because we love them and want to help all we can.

Keep up the good work

Kathleen
 

Loiner

Registered User
Oct 29, 2005
73
Leeds, UK
thanks all, Kathleen, money where my bro is concerned is he has it, we don't.
Mum, just b4 she had the incident that caused the dementia told me a story from 1940 when my uncle phillip married aunty venus (the other one with dementia) and her family held the wedding.
Mum said they treated them as if they were riff raff, barely tolerated.
On the train back she asked why and my grandad said " because they don't know any better, but we do", mum said my bro was just like that family, ashamed to have relations without money, mind u he's always been like that.
He made it clear, its my job, and fine I wouldn't have changed a thing ovr the past 14yrs, but he isn't stepping in now cause he thinks he can show other ppl he looks good and knows what he's talking about as a unit manager for a few psychiatric wards.
I let him know mum was in hospital, not so he can tell staff what he wants, but so he can visit mum if anything happened it would not be right, but then I think family comes first, even the bad ones

hugs
David
 

Kathleen

Registered User
Mar 12, 2005
639
65
West Sussex
Loiner

Perhaps we should have been siblings, we seem to both be in the same position and think alike.

Family and friends are the most precious possesions we have. I have never been a materialistic person, which is just as well, or I would be one unhappy bunny.

We seem to lurch along just about keeping our heads above water, but I am blessed with happy memories of my beloved Dad,a lovely Mum battling AD, and a fantastic husband, children and grand-children.

Hope your Mum has a speedy recovery,

Kathleen
 

Loiner

Registered User
Oct 29, 2005
73
Leeds, UK
just got word from hospital mum is worse, so am going down to see her. they've moved her bed next to the nurses station so they can keep an eye on her.

David
 

Loiner

Registered User
Oct 29, 2005
73
Leeds, UK
I had to leave when visiting ended so, they don't think its so bad, or they'd of let me stay. She's not responding to antibiotics and her urine output is almost nil, fungers xxed

hugs
David
 

connie

Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
9,519
Frinton-on-Sea
David, just read your last posting. You are right to feel that they would not have let you go if things had been critical. We will all have our fingers crossed, and those of us who pray will add you to our prayers.

Keep us informed please, we do care. Love Connie
 

Loiner

Registered User
Oct 29, 2005
73
Leeds, UK
just been to see her, she's responding they say to the antibiotics which is good in fact she was a little bit, grumpy, not seen that often with her.
I did mention to staff, leaving her glasses off and hearing out will get less response when they want cooperation.
in daylight tho she looks a right state, both her hands are black and blue from blood samples and pulled out iv's. her arms are similar from handling i expect, she bruises and tears so easily now.
 

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