Cripes! Read on had the SW round today MIL not happy bunny when care home mentioned

[Donkeyshere]

Well today the SW came today and me and the OH had the Care Home discussion with him and went into the MIL - yesterday she had a moment of clarity she was yes I know you do so much and I need to go into a home - well today it was gone and basically we wanted rid of her - she wasn't a nuisance and what did we do for her - I wont go on - I went outside the annex and said just seeing to the dogs and had a melt down got it together went back in - so the long and short of it is the SW sees our side and will put the wheels in motion for the Care Home. I still feel sick and the G &T is not touching the sides!

 

[canary]

Im sorry you had to have a melt down and still feel sick, but at least the SW can see your side of the problem now.

Im afraid that it is almost impossible for most people with dementia to see someone elses view point. Your MIL had a moment of clarity, but as you have found, it never lasts.
Do not feel guilty - you know that being in a care home would be the best thing for her (even if she mostly cannot understand this) and the SW agrees.

 

[Donkeyshere]

Thanks @canary I know - TP has been a saviour so I knew what to expect good or bad.

 

[TNJJ]

Thanks @canary I know - TP has been a saviour so I knew what to expect good or bad.

Dad did the same. Agreed he needed a home. Went in for respite. Then when asked by the home would he like to stay.The answer was no.Usual fluctuating capacity issue so home he went. Still there but with more carers not me.
I can sympathise with the meltdown as I was at breaking point too. I could take no more so hence more carers. Have a G&T on me or two.

 

[Palerider]

I always find a gin martini better than G&T -but has to be cold and with a twist

 

[Jale]

I think it was on the cards that things would not go totally problem free, but at least you have the SW on your side. Best wishes for the next stage

 

[annielou]

Its good that the SW saw the same as you that MIL needs a care home now. I suppose not too surprising, but such a shame MIL wasn't having one of those moments of clarity when SW came. Why do they never happen in front of other people ?!?
My mum often says when she is sad and worried about her memory when its just me they should put me in a home, but the rest of the time and every time anyone else is here such as memory workers or social workers, she says they are not putting me in a home I dont need one I can manage on my own.
Good luck with it all x

 

[Donkeyshere]

Hi MIL not mentioned care home at all - shes already forgotten about it so we are just keeping quiet until we have to - I think we might have to do a few of those "white love lies"!

 

[Donkeyshere]

Its good that the SW saw the same as you that MIL needs a care home now. I suppose not too surprising, but such a shame MIL wasn't having one of those moments of clarity when SW came. Why do they never happen in front of other people ?!?
My mum often says when she is sad and worried about her memory when its just me they should put me in a home, but the rest of the time and every time anyone else is here such as memory workers or social workers, she says they are not putting me in a home I dont need one I can manage on my own.
Good luck with it all x

We have exactly the same!

 

[MaNaAk]

Dad didn't he was going into a home and he had completed two weeks of respite before coming home and having another fall. I called the ambulance and on the way to the hospital the paramedics were saying that my caring days were over and the words care home were mentioned. At this point dad started shaking his head and saying 'no' although he didn't realise that he had just spent time in a care home. When he finally went back in he settled down immediately because he saw his friends again.

MaNaAk