Creating Night Time Routine

Greyone

Registered User
Sep 11, 2013
391
UK
I'm trying to see if it is possible for my family to create a night time routine to get my mother to bed in an hour at a sensible time of night.

Despite many people saying you have to go with the flow, I think this is important so that she can take comfort from having a routine to follow. Being a carer and son I find it difficult to be persuasive in a non threatening way. My dad who did not suffer from Dementia was most insistent he stayed up till late and as a consequence we occasionally fell over and needed us to pick him up. So I'm eager not to go down this route with mum and to get her and keep her in good habits in the hope that the family will find this beneficial and it will help sustain good habits and her wellbeing for longer.

My initial thoughts are:
1) That I need to speak with a sense of urgency so we just take up the entire evening because its available.
2) Encourage a lot of chatter thereby distracting us from the task and slowing us down.
3) Allowing mum to get side tracked thereby deflecting us from our purpose.
4) Allow us to get distracted with 2ndry tasks thereby slowing us down.
5) Perform our tasks in the right order so we stand the best chance of success. i.e into nightie then loo then bathroom then straight to bed.

I am most eager to hear from any one who has tried this route and either succeeded or failed. I'll post more detail as my plan progresses (hopefully).
 

barny

Registered User
Jan 20, 2006
199
Herts
Hi grey one
As I am sure you know everyone's dementia journey is unique and do not follow the same paths. My mum had dementia for 15 years and lived with us. I had young children at the time and also worked so it was important to me that there were "routines". I was always quite strict about things such as getting up time and going to bed times. Most of the time this worked well although there were a few hiccoughs along the way. Rather than trying to be persuasive just use simple statements. If you meet resistance just go away and try again 5mins later. My mum was definitely better with a structured day. With the support of my wonderful family mum was able to stay at home until the end. Good luck.
 

Greyone

Registered User
Sep 11, 2013
391
UK
I am so glad to hear that your mother was able to say with you to the end and that you had the support of a family. I'm learning that simplicity is very important so that I don't have to keep repeating and explaining myself and well certainly keep at it with your 5 minute rule. Thanks Barny
 

Greyone

Registered User
Sep 11, 2013
391
UK
No I didn't see that article but I find it very interesting. Thanks for the info Creativesarah
 

love.dad.but..

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
4,469
Kent
Some of the ideas are good ones but for my dad his days and nights flipped a long time ago and when we were still looking after him in his home he lost understanding and acceptance of routine. I stood many a time at 2.30am us both looking out of his bedroom me saying look its dark and nightime
dad saying no its daytime! So he couldn't pick up on visual or verbal clues. He has been in a care home for 6 months still walks a lot during the night...they were sure that setting a routine he would revert back to our normality and I thought you can try but I doubt it....they have now conceded they can't. Dads dementia presentation is so compulsive and set....he will probably always do these things.However I wish you good luck....dad got to the stage at home of going to bed at 4pm and nothing we could do or say would stop him and then he would be up at 9pm ready for the 'day' during the night he would then be awake sleeping pills made no difference often waking us up 30 times a night.:eek:
 

jaymor

Volunteer Moderator
Jul 14, 2006
12,661
England
My husband only had a 12 hour day starting at 8am. Day went as well as we could make it re the time and then we hit 8pm and we were back to 8am. Why were we not going out, we always went out in the morning? Why are we going to bed at 11, we have not had lunch yet. This went on all through the night, showing him the darkness, the absense of traffic made no sense to him it was day time and we should be out and about.

A routine for us was impossible. It would be lovely if you could get a routine in place for your Mum, sadly I failed miserably.
 

Greyone

Registered User
Sep 11, 2013
391
UK
What you say is certainly a cautionary tale that I'll fully take on board. Going by what you say we're about as far as the first fence so I will consider us lucky. As I write I'm making the 5 minutes visits to check on progress.
 

Greyone

Registered User
Sep 11, 2013
391
UK
I realise now that I'm on a slippery slope, not too slippery, but slightly slippery.
I'm trying not to give in to the inevitable yet.
 

love.dad.but..

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
4,469
Kent
Good luck I hope you manage to stay at the first fence....for us Dad quickly jumped all the fences.....fell off his horse and the wheels fell off the carriage! I wish you well