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Crazy Care Home situation

bensusu

New member
Apr 15, 2020
9
My Mum has been in a,care home since June and now we been told no visits due to government regs...is this care homes for all of England, does anyone know, I'm fuming and so worried for my mum, she will wonder where we are
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
686
That's a bit of a hot topic at the moment, @bensusu . Some care homes have allowed only outdoor distanced visits (with masks) for a while, a few seem to have managed to allow indoor distanced visits (with masks) recently, some have allowed only window visits (with masks, although goodness knows why you need a mask for a window visit), some have not allowed any visits. Some which were allowing some visits are now not allowing any visits. I haven't seen my mum since March. Her care home were allowing outdoor visits with masks for a while but have now closed to visitors altogether as a precaution.
 

bensusu

New member
Apr 15, 2020
9
That's a bit of a hot topic at the moment, @bensusu . Some care homes have allowed only outdoor distanced visits (with masks) for a while, a few seem to have managed to allow indoor distanced visits (with masks) recently, some have allowed only window visits (with masks, although goodness knows why you need a mask for a window visit), some have not allowed any visits. Some which were allowing some visits are now not allowing any visits. I haven't seen my mum since March. Her care home were allowing outdoor visits with masks for a while but have now closed to visitors altogether as a precaution.
Its ridiculous, they may think they protecting them, but they are not, they are slowly killing them, as will die much sooner of other illnesses bought on by loneliness and no interaction with family, I just dispair with stupid rules and,stupid people
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
507
No worries @Kellyr , I'm like that too, and I notice that @nitram has posted a link, thanks for that. I quite agree @bensusu , it's so cruel.
If you haven't done so there is a Facebook group Rights For Residents , where they have lots of suggestions about what you can do to get publicity for the in humane visiting restrictions, and hopefully get the Government to do something to facilitate indoor visits.
If you don't do Facebook you can email rightsforresidents@gmail.com
They have template letters to support people in emailing their MP, Matt Hancock etc
 

bensusu

New member
Apr 15, 2020
9
No worries @Kellyr , I'm like that too, and I notice that @nitram has posted a link, thanks for that. I quite agree @bensusu , it's so cruel.
If you haven't done so there is a Facebook group Rights For Residents , where they have lots of suggestions about what you can do to get publicity for the in humane visiting restrictions, and hopefully get the Government to do something to facilitate indoor visits.
If you don't do Facebook you can email rightsforresidents@gmail.com
They have template letters to support people in emailing their MP, Matt Hancock etc
Thank you for the information, I just feel so helpless and down about it all x
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
507
Yes @bensusu I know how you feel, I do too.
But I do believe that there is more coverage on our loved ones plight with Johns campaign, big charity's campaigning, some MPs raising the subject live in Parliament, stories in the press, and even on News at Ten. The story is getting out there now so the Government must surely do something. If you look at Rights for Residents you will see just what is going on behind the scenes, and take hope with this.
The more people who join, the more lobbying MPs etc, the more the Government can't hope it can get away with doing nothing to get us our indoor visits. Please take comfort from this X
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
507
Boris was on Look East Friday evening saying " if there's a way (for safe care home visits) I'll look into it" Tho he then ignored the presenters suggestion of testing and ppe for family!
I hope he will do this and put pressure on Matt and Helen Whately, but fear it may be an empty promise
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,294
There is a safe way, but it requires a bit of investment by the CHs. My mother's CH has never done garden/window visits, so I haven't seen her since March, but they are intending to start visits within the next week.

They have spent the summer repurposing the conservatory as a visiting room, it now has a floor to ceiling glass screen dividing it into two. Visitors will enter directly from outdoors and stay in 'their half', residents access it from the lounge and stay in the other half. There is an intercom to allow visitor and resident to speak to each other. So it's comfortable, no need for PPE, and an environment which the resident is accustomed to. There seems to be no risk to the residents as the visitors are kept completely separate.
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
507
So sorry to hear @Sirena that your mum's care home hasn't done garden or window visits so it has been such a long time since you saw your mum.
I was lucky to see my mum in her care home garden over the summer when the weather was good, and no need to wear ppe as it was outside . I have booked a visit for next week , but have told the manager it is too cold for her outside so it will have to be a window visit. I suppose I should consider myself "fortunate" that mum's room is on the ground floor.
It sounds like your mum's care home has worked hard to provide a solution that will mean indoor visits can go ahead.
I still hope the government will provide testing as I feel this will be the only safe way I can hold her hand and hug her (as staff can do) . I can't bear the thought of not being able to do this for at least a further 6 months, mum may not make it until then, with our frail, elderly , nobody knows.
 

Hazara8

Registered User
Apr 6, 2015
535
So sorry to hear @Sirena that your mum's care home hasn't done garden or window visits so it has been such a long time since you saw your mum.
I was lucky to see my mum in her care home garden over the summer when the weather was good, and no need to wear ppe as it was outside . I have booked a visit for next week , but have told the manager it is too cold for her outside so it will have to be a window visit. I suppose I should consider myself "fortunate" that mum's room is on the ground floor.
It sounds like your mum's care home has worked hard to provide a solution that will mean indoor visits can go ahead.
I still hope the government will provide testing as I feel this will be the only safe way I can hold her hand and hug her (as staff can do) . I can't bear the thought of not being able to do this for at least a further 6 months, mum may not make it until then, with our frail, elderly , nobody knows.
 

Hazara8

Registered User
Apr 6, 2015
535
This is such a very challenging situation because a priority simply has to focus on protection for all, otherwise it is irresponsible. Yet, there is perhaps still a lack of true understanding of the depths of feelings which relate to this area of Care, whereby the totally vulnerable live on a knife edge mentally and physically, wholly reliant on the very specific type of care which is not given due consideration owing to a lack of understanding, simply because dementia conjures up an image of age- related inevitability and all that entails. But it is of course far far more complex and significant than that. To a certain extent one can say that someone living in a Care Home with advanced dementia and who does not actually register the 'here and now' might not be affected in the way that generates anxiety or distress as in someone possessed of cognition, albeit fragmented. This is when personal needs become very challenging. Do l need to visit? Much like those first and early days when transition into Care is often made more amenable if one refrains from visiting whilst " settling " takes place. But then one knows that this is temporary and future visits and interaction will come about shortly. The psychology of that sustains the otherwise pangs of despair and helplessness which can be traumatic.
So Care in the deepest sense and which knows no boundaries finds this current situation unacceptable because when that Care is balanced on the knife edge of life and death you look to what the ultimate meaning of that Care represents. The one living with dementia is the same person as long before Covid-19 and almost by definition requires increased Care if anything. We are all related and as social beings cannot exist in isolation. Compassion is a fundamental which we as human beings can demonstrate like no other living thing and when somebody just like ourselves falls prey to such a disease as dementia our instincts enable something very special to take place because we care. In this age of innovation and technical wonders, surely it must be possible to make provision for this Care to continue subject to responsible adaptation. And yes, there is understandable attention brought to bear on students and their welfare in all of this. But holidays, Christmas, recreation and everything of that nature which is subject to unfortunate restrictions, does not compare to the precious and fleeting moment of communication between two people who have borne the often life-changing journey of dementia and which touches the heart of what humanity truly means. That humanity requires voice and action because wherever there is a will there is a way .
 

Baker17

Registered User
Mar 9, 2016
755
There is to be an item broadcast on BBC just after 8am tomorrow about care home visits, they have interviewed several people from RIghts for Residents
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
507
Yes @Hazara8 , definitely protection for all. There has to be a balance taking all aspects into account, not just the current government focus on physical health. The WHO ( no, not the pop group!) defined health as ..... a state of complete physical, mental and social well being and not merely the absence of disease or other physical impairment.
I like to visit , as this brings my mum comfort and pleasure. I wouldn't want to bring harm to her, or any of the other residents in her care home by doing this, which is why I appeal to the government to help all care homes facilitate indoor visits safely.
Great publicity by rights for residents @Baker17 . Is this BBC Breakfast? Fingers crossed it goes ahead.
 

Baker17

Registered User
Mar 9, 2016
755
Yes @Hazara8 , definitely protection for all. There has to be a balance taking all aspects into account, not just the current government focus on physical health. The WHO ( no, not the pop group!) defined health as ..... a state of complete physical, mental and social well being and not merely the absence of disease or other physical impairment.
I like to visit , as this brings my mum comfort and pleasure. I wouldn't want to bring harm to her, or any of the other residents in her care home by doing this, which is why I appeal to the government to help all care homes facilitate indoor visits safely.
Great publicity by rights for residents @Baker17 . Is this BBC Breakfast? Fingers crossed it goes ahead.
@anxious annie yes it is BBC breakfast.