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Crazy Care Home situation

blueorchid

Registered User
Feb 18, 2016
56
I was trying to get my mother moved closer to me so I could see her. Even if it was through a window. As 5 mins down the road is better than driving a 170 mile round trip for the same 5 minutes 'viewing'.

The new home is not even allowing window visits. So I'm in the bonkers situation where I'm going to have to make the decision to leave her 85 miles away as I can see her there but can't if she's 5 mins down the road.

Pretty dangerous virus if it can penetrate glass!! Why are people not using common sense? This situation is insane.
 

None the Wiser

Registered User
Feb 3, 2020
116
I think it’s dreadful. Life is difficult enough anyway. My husband has gone into respite care and isn’t sleeping and wandering all day. If I could visit it may help him to settle. It certainly would allow me to know a bit more of what’s going on for him. I insisted that he went somewhere where he wouldn’t have to be isolated in his own room for two weeks, but there is no visiting allowed.
 

Louise7

Registered User
Mar 25, 2016
2,468
Mum's home has been allowing both garden and indoors visits (lasting an hour) for the last few months but this was reduced last week to just garden and window visits only on instruction from the local Director of Public health, due to increased infection rates locally. I have now been contacted by the home to say that they are in full 'lockdown' as they have a covid case. All residents are being kept on their own floor to prevent the spread of infection so as mum is on the second floor I won't be able to see her via a window. Those on the ground floor have also had window visits 'paused' as the only way that visitors can access the room windows is by going onto the care home premises and through the garden area. Even when window visits were allowed in local care homes the Director of Public Health still advised that PPE should be worn and social distancing maintained. My understanding is that this was to prevent the potential risk of visitors spreading the infection to residents/staff/other visitors - and vice versa - not because it was thought that the virus could get through glass.

I think the only way to ensure safe care home visiting is for visitors to have the same level of testing as the staff, which is supposed to be weekly, and until the testing issues have been sorted unfortunately not much is likely to change. Staff at mum's home are also changing their clothing when entering/leaving the home at the start and end of their shifts as part of infection control procedures.
 

blueorchid

Registered User
Feb 18, 2016
56
Even when window visits were allowed in local care homes the Director of Public Health still advised that PPE should be worn and social distancing maintained. My understanding is that this was to prevent the potential risk of visitors spreading the infection to residents/staff/other visitors - and vice versa - not because it was thought that the virus could get through glass.
At the new home down the road, the one that's saying no to window visits, the windows are 10 feet from the pavement. You wouldn't even need to go onto their property.
 

Louise7

Registered User
Mar 25, 2016
2,468
At the new home down the road, the one that's saying no to window visits, the windows are 10 feet from the pavement.
Did the manager of the new home explain why they are not allowing window visits - is it because of local health instructions or their own visiting restriction?
 

Kellyr

Registered User
Aug 8, 2020
80
@blueorchid I agree with you, this is insanity and the restictions that are being tightened every week (with or without an increase in infections) is absurd. My experience is alot of it is making life more simple for the c/homes whilst totally disregarding whats best for residents and families
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
508
These restrictions seem rather OTT to me, the risks with having a window visit would surely be less than the risk to the residents mental health deteriorating through lack of any contact with loved ones.
Of course, I would wear ppe etc if this was what the home required for my mum to be allowed a window visit
 

CardiffGirlInEssex

Registered User
Oct 6, 2018
206
It's not only care homes. My 93 year old dad, who does not have dementia, is in a long stay elderly rehab ward in a hospital in Cardiff. Whereas it was possible to book a 20 minute visit once per week (not that I actually got to see him as he's not currently mobile so couldn't be got into a wheelchair to be brought to the visiting room) all visits are now cancelled for the foreseeable future. He is too deaf to hear me on the phone or through FaceTime. He is likely to be there for months. At least he is able to read emails but so far has not been able to respond using his iPad. It's plain cruel, and also counterproductive because if I could be present when the physios are trying to help him I know I could calm him down and their job would be easier. I despair. Meanwhile I have to hope that my visits to Mum, PWD on her own in their house, won't be reported by some busybody. Actually I'm not too worried about that, they fit the reasonable excuses definition and her neighbours are lovely, but it is extra stressful.
 

Louise7

Registered User
Mar 25, 2016
2,468
My experience is alot of it is making life more simple for the c/homes whilst totally disregarding whats best for residents and families
That may be your personal experience but not all care homes are like that, others have been actively doing what they can to reunite residents with family. Did you see the newspaper article a few days ago that referred to one care home chain that is allowing a family member to stay for free for 2 weeks in a room adjacent to a new resident when they move in, to help settle them? Another chain is one of two that is now allowing relatives in provided they have tested negative and meet certain criteria:

“it was allowing relatives into homes to have contact with their loved ones if they judged that it was needed to maintain their health and if test results showed the family member was not carrying the virus. A small cohort of relatives – one or two per home – have so far signed up and, like staff, are tested on a weekly basis. The homes only admit visitors after detailed conversations about their need to socially distance outside the home, limit interactions and wear masks. A relative living with three sons in their 20s, for instance, was unlikely to be accepted because they would pose too much of an infection risk”.


https://www.theguardian.com/world/2...to-care-homes-in-england-amid-covid-lockdowns
 

Henkerann

Registered User
Aug 28, 2019
21
suffolk
My Mum is in very assisted living with dementia. Lockdown began on 17th March. In July garden visits started limited to 1 hour. This was governed by the weather many of the residents felt cold outside bearing in mind they had been inside for weeks. My Mum then had to go to hospital and after 48 hours I was able to visit every day. Once back in her flat she had to be isolated for 2 weeks. Getting booked in for a visit after that was difficult as only two residents could have a visitor at one time.
My Mum had to go back to hospital two weeks ago, when she was discharged she would have had to be isolated again for 2 weeks but this didn't happen as she was dropped off at about 3,30pm by ambulance, apparently the crew put her onto a commode and left. When the carers arrived, she had no strength to get up, they couldn't use force and called 999. The paramedic phoned me at 11.00pm and was really sorry, he had been diverted numerous times, he took her back to hospital with pressure sores and possibly a prolapsed bowel from sitting for so long.
48 hours in hospital and I was able to visit again. Mum was in hospital 4 days and returned home yesterday. I was not alowed to see her home and reassure her where she was. If I had been able to be with her none of this would have happened. ( Hospitql complaints are supposed to be looking into this.)
I have written to my local MP, no response, signed a petition, no response. I am now considering contacting the newspapers, BBC or anyone who may listen.
It is, as I put in my letter to MP easily resolved with visits from one named family member who has their temperature taken before entering, wears a mask and goes straight to their loved ones room / flat.
Don't take window / garden visits as the answer, they need contact with those that care and not to be just brushed aside as a risk. Is it a case of the government wanting hospital beds free and carehomes being frightened of being sued if coronavirus takes them. I for one would happily sign a disclaimer if it meant being able to see my Mum.
This whole situation is scandalous and avoidable.
 

Henkerann

Registered User
Aug 28, 2019
21
suffolk
Another consideration for everyone, whilst I have sympathy for the thousands of students being threatened with Christmas not with their families, what about our loved ones. There is only myself and Mum in our family.
 

Louise7

Registered User
Mar 25, 2016
2,468
Another consideration for everyone, whilst I have sympathy for the thousands of students being threatened with Christmas not with their families, what about our loved ones. There is only myself and Mum in our family.
I must admit that when I read some of the media comments about the impact that not being able to see their family will have on students mental health/wellbeing, and students complaining that they have been 'locked up against their will', I did think of the current care home position. There are also some calls for students to be 'mass tested' and I hope that if it does happen it wouldn't mean a shortage of testing in other areas that need it such as care homes.
 

Lynmax

Registered User
Nov 1, 2016
579
Hmm, made me think! I might contact my MP yet again about the lack of visiting in care homes, linking to the situation regarding students - if elderly people are isolated and locked in for six months then why do people think it is scandalous that students have to suffer for just two weeks?
 

Louise7

Registered User
Mar 25, 2016
2,468
if elderly people are isolated and locked in for six months then why do people think it is scandalous that students have to suffer for just two weeks?
I think that it's age related as from experience some people do seem to think that the elderly don't matter...............
 

Henkerann

Registered User
Aug 28, 2019
21
suffolk
All of these issues around corvid are personal to those involved but surely anyone can see that elderly people are literally passing away with broken hearts. Their time is precious at least students have their whole life in front of them if they follow the guidelines and be careful. There has been two new young student ladies on BBC news, they a credit to their parents, in the face of adversity, smiling, upbeat and making the best of it.
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
508
So sorry to hear of your experiences @CardiffGirlInEssex and @Henkerann .
My MP and my mums MP have replied to my email (after I sent several), but sadly both just say that the Government is "keeping residents safe/minimising risks", but no empathy whatsoever or suggestions about how family visits could be made safe.
I belong to Rights for Residents group on Facebook, who are encouraging people to contact local media/BBC etc with their stories.
They have a petition which now has 125,000 signatures, which surely can't be ignored.
If you haven't signed this one, as I know there are a few about, please do
www.change.org/Please-Let-Me-See-My-Family
 

Kellyr

Registered User
Aug 8, 2020
80
That may be your personal experience but not all care homes are like that, others have been actively doing what they can to reunite residents with family. Did you see the newspaper article a few days ago that referred to one care home chain that is allowing a family member to stay for free for 2 weeks in a room adjacent to a new resident when they move in, to help settle them? Another chain is one of two that is now allowing relatives in provided they have tested negative and meet certain criteria:

“it was allowing relatives into homes to have contact with their loved ones if they judged that it was needed to maintain their health and if test results showed the family member was not carrying the virus. A small cohort of relatives – one or two per home – have so far signed up and, like staff, are tested on a weekly basis. The homes only admit visitors after detailed conversations about their need to socially distance outside the home, limit interactions and wear masks. A relative living with three sons in their 20s, for instance, was unlikely to be accepted because they would pose too much of an infection risk”.


https://www.theguardian.com/world/2...to-care-homes-in-england-amid-covid-lockdowns
Thanks @Louise7. I might pluck up the courage to show this to my Mums home..
 

Kellyr

Registered User
Aug 8, 2020
80
Everyone who signed the Rights for Residents Facebook petition should sign the Government petition as you need over 100k signatures for it to be debated in Parliament and there are currently only about 1k !
 

Bunty2410

Registered User
Apr 28, 2020
56
My Mum is in very assisted living with dementia. Lockdown began on 17th March. In July garden visits started limited to 1 hour. This was governed by the weather many of the residents felt cold outside bearing in mind they had been inside for weeks. My Mum then had to go to hospital and after 48 hours I was able to visit every day. Once back in her flat she had to be isolated for 2 weeks. Getting booked in for a visit after that was difficult as only two residents could have a visitor at one time.
My Mum had to go back to hospital two weeks ago, when she was discharged she would have had to be isolated again for 2 weeks but this didn't happen as she was dropped off at about 3,30pm by ambulance, apparently the crew put her onto a commode and left. When the carers arrived, she had no strength to get up, they couldn't use force and called 999. The paramedic phoned me at 11.00pm and was really sorry, he had been diverted numerous times, he took her back to hospital with pressure sores and possibly a prolapsed bowel from sitting for so long.
48 hours in hospital and I was able to visit again. Mum was in hospital 4 days and returned home yesterday. I was not alowed to see her home and reassure her where she was. If I had been able to be with her none of this would have happened. ( Hospitql complaints are supposed to be looking into this.)
I have written to my local MP, no response, signed a petition, no response. I am now considering contacting the newspapers, BBC or anyone who may listen.
It is, as I put in my letter to MP easily resolved with visits from one named family member who has their temperature taken before entering, wears a mask and goes straight to their loved ones room / flat.
Don't take window / garden visits as the answer, they need contact with those that care and not to be just brushed aside as a risk. Is it a case of the government wanting hospital beds free and carehomes being frightened of being sued if coronavirus takes them. I for one would happily sign a disclaimer if it meant being able to see my Mum.
This whole situation is scandalous and avoidable.
What has happened to your poor mother is inexcusable and shocking. Put in a formal complaint and contact the CQC