CPN / OT Assessment - Deflated

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Tender Face, Aug 23, 2007.

  1. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    NW England
    Well I know I've been hyper/sleepless etc etc recently ..... think I pinned so much hope on the CPN / OT assessment today ... (I'm afraid I still believe that one day my fairy and her magic wand will come :eek: ) .... but feel I've ended up with more on my plate rather than less ...... yes, they agree more day care is best way forward for mum - and me ....... will chase up Social Services referral ... going to arrange detector service (alarms thru to warden centre stuff) .... They get two action points which is a matter of making a couple of telephone calls ...... (absolutely lovely people ... not decrying them personally!)

    Me - I got a list of things to do .... to add to the existing ........

    New lock to get ... handyman to arrange (and time off work to arrange for him to attend) .... need ribbon for keys ... need new signs near doors .... need to sort out different ways for her to manage cash even for the corner shop ...... need to arrange time off work while detectors fitted ...... suggestion we repeat eye test .....(more time off work) ..... etc etc

    Great they come up with ideas (even if I did feel foolish I should have already thought of some of them myself) ... but who gets to do them all? Yours truly, as per .......

    I know it's all short term stuff but just feel the 'treadmill' of errands and jobs never ends ......

    OT suggested I needed to think about 'getting people in' to do some of the things I do - e.g laundry, shopping .... to which I replied "What I really want is for someone to step in and do the worrying and the organising ....... "

    Sorry, just weary and having a 'sorry for myself' moment ......

    Thanks for listening, Karen, x
  2. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    near London
    You deserve one after all that. I recognise the treadmill aspect very well.

    Take care
  3. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    Dont know what you have to do tonight Karen, but try and forget the 'to do ' list, and give yourself a treat - a bubble bath, a glass of wine, anhour in the garden, fall asleep in front of the telly - doesnt matter what it is, as long as it is something for you.

    Take care.
    Love Helen
  4. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    Sorry you have had such a wearing day. You do sound as if YOU NEED RESPITE - so why not think about that for a change.

    I cannot resist my own angle - you did at least get an assessment. No one has been near us now for 9 mths (I think in Derbyshire they are supposed to do one every 6!!!???). BUT I think why bother - there is no magic wand and they cannot produce any answers for me anyway.

    Try a couple of glasses before you go to bed - maybe you will get more sleep then.

    Take care Jan
  5. DickG

    DickG Registered User

    Feb 26, 2006
    I agree with Jan, you need respite! Get some ASAP, everything can wait for you for a change. Tell the SWs that you are at the end of your tether and they may have to step in if there is an emergency, lie or do what ever is necessary - you need respite.


  6. Lucille

    Lucille Registered User

    Sep 10, 2005
    Hi Karen
    Sorry things didn't go as you expected. Chin up. As Helen and Beckyjan said, bouteille de vin! ... or at least a couple of glasses! :)

    By the way, nobody else can do the worrying, only us carers, such is our lot.

    Am surprised and disappointed for you that CPN team didn't come prepared with input from Social Services, in that an SW wasn't part of the visit. Certainly, when mum and I set off on this road, the SW and CPN came to the first meeting. It was that visit that kicked off input from a local care agency. They in turn offered to do things for mum, like shopping and washing. Of course, mum doesn't need any help because 'there's nothing wrong with me'. So, she does the shopping (repeatedly) and I do her washing when I visit, but I just drop it off at the laundrette and leave it for a service wash. At first, I was doing all her washing as well as my own, but my place was turning into a steaming, condensated dwelling:p so I thought, why bother? OK, it's not done as regularly as when mum was well, but so what? Nothing is as it was. The drop in carers also pick up mum's tablets on a Monday morning and (try and ensure) she takes them each day. Not always possible if she's gone out!

    I know it seems like you are doing everything (you are :p ) but stick with it, girl. You've done brilliantly so far and I take my hat off to you.

  7. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    #7 Margarita, Aug 23, 2007
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2007
    Could you not give corner shop man say £100 for 2 weeks , give him a note book with your mother name on , so he can write down every thing you mother buy , then you check on it every 2 weeks , any money left over is carried over to following week , giving them less, till you average out how much your mother spend a week

    Just that is what I had to organized for my brother corner shop also restaurant/ cafe . restaurant he has a budget of £7 a day times 14 , because I do it every two weeks.

    phone social services tell them what OT SAID , they can get a woman in to do laundry, shopping .
  8. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    leigh lancashire
    Hi Tenderface,I feel for you with your situation.What more can life throw at you?You see I am not actually in this situation.mum cares for dad but has found it a struggle lately.Especially when she got stuck in the bath!I contacted S/S and the O/T was in touch within24 hours.That was 2 weeks ago.Today everything has been done,grab rails all over the place ,raised toilet seats,bath hoist.The O/T was very nice and said on leaving if you need anything at all please contact me.She had a quiet word with me and suggested that mum needs more help than she will admit even though i do a lot its time we both had the weight took off us for a while.She said to contact our local Age Concern as they offer a new service that provides personal hygiene care,shopping,escorting..the list goes on.Just wondering do you have this offerred in your area,mum is considering it as i am away in october for a week and she will need the help.Just a thought.love elainex
  9. Kayla

    Kayla Registered User

    May 14, 2006
    Dear Karen,
    I think you are in a similar position to how I was about three years ago. I felt as though I was at breaking point, but Mum did have a cleaner, who helped her to change the bed and do the laundry, so I didn't have to worry too much about Mum's washing. We also arranged for a carer to come in and help with bathing and odd jobs in the house and garden. She brought her little girl with her and Mum enjoyed the child's company.
    I still did all the shopping, but as time went by, I needed to write the shopping lists too. When Mum went into the Care Home, her tins of polish and boxes of foil and clingfilm lasted us for about two years!
    Does your mother have any neighbours or friends, who could pop in and have a cup of tea with her, while some of the workmen are in the house? Perhaps there is some kind of befriending service in your area, run by Age Concern or a charity.
    It does sound as if you need a break as soon as possible. Maybe your mother could be persuaded to have a little "holiday". There is a Care Home near us, in the countryside, which is almost like a hotel and it always has a few spare rooms for respite, because they are too small for long term use. The residents even have a glass of sherry with their Sunday Lunch!
    Take care of yourself and try to delegate if possible.
  10. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    Newport, Gwent
    Hiya Kaz

    It seems the meeting went well, but as you said, you ended up with yet another list. But take heart, once the ‘list’ is done, you should be sorted out for a while. Good suggestion to contact the Social Worker re: laundry and shopping, I’m sure that would give you a bit more time with your family, and also take something off the ever growing list. That is assuming that mum will go along with any new arrangements!!

    Chin up chuck.


    Cate xxxx
  11. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    NW England
    Doing cartwheels!!!!!

    Well, apart from being pleased with myself for getting most of the 'Back to School' stuff organised today for my 'Beloved Little Bag of Teenage Hormones'! :D .... got locksmith and optician for mum arranged .... (off the list and into diary! :rolleyes: ) ... we've officially been allocated a social worker - well not quite ..... paperwork and stuff ..... but am promised within two weeks - on basis of CPN referral (why previous one was not so important I don't even care about!!!!) mum will have at least an extra day in day care every week!!!!!!

    Thanks everyone for lots of ideas and support - I'll come back to them all later - but for now I gotta go - the keyboard is awash with tears of relief .... I feel I'm finally getting somewhere ........

    God bless every CPN and OT!!!!!!:D ;)

    Love, Karen, x
  12. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    near London
    Great stuff Karen.

    At the time management course I attended ages ago, the best thing I learned was how to eat an Elephant - ie deal with BIG tasks.

    ... you do it one bite at a time. Before you know it, the elephant is half gone.

    Methinks youe elephant is visibly reducing in size

  13. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    NW England
    Ta Brucie!

    Was that tasks or tusks? :D

    Sorry, broaching on hysteria, I know :eek: .... will go have a lie down in a dark room!!!:D

    Isn't it amazing how life can take on a whole different perspective in so little time??? Just knowing help is forthcoming ......

    'What a difference day makes' as they say! :)

    Love, Karen, x
  14. sue38

    sue38 Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    Wigan, Lancs
    Hi Karen,

    Great news that things are finally moving and you can start to see the benefits of your persistence.

    I went on a time management course once (also a long time ago) and at the start we are all given a round piece of card called a 'tooit'. We were all puzzled by this until it was explained that we could never again use the excuse 'I'll do it when I get around to it' as we all now had 'a round tooit'. :D
  15. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    near London
    Hi Karen
    Now you're being daft. You don't eat the tusks - you keep them to the end to pick your teeth with!
    thats a great one!

    I turned up a day late to my time management course. [yes, really]
  16. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    Newport, Gwent
    Hi Kaz

    Fantastic news, another day in day care, so one less day to worry about for you. That is amazing news. Corrrrr what will you do with all that extra time, enjoy yourself, and your family I hope.

    Thrilled for you honey.


    Cate xxxxxx
  17. Lynne

    Lynne Registered User

    Jun 3, 2005
    Hi Karen

    Have to admit that my heart sank when I read your initial posting, and I'm SO glad that it all led to some tangible progress.

    Hopefully when you get a human face to fit your 'virtual' social worker, things may get better still. (Where's the smiley for 'fingers crossed'?) :rolleyes:

    All the best

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