COVID-19. Possibly better to let my 97 year old mum be at home, even though it increases her risk of infection?

Fi Cole

New member
Jul 10, 2020
2
Can't cope talking to mum through a window anymore. Seriously considering taking her out of residential care and managing at home - anyone else?
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
410
I agree with @canary. I haven't even tried a visit since lock-down but biding my time and hoping that some kind of "normal" visit will be possible before long. If you take your mum out now and it doesn't work out, it could be really difficult to recover the situation.
 

Louise7

Registered User
Mar 25, 2016
2,265
Welcome to the forum @Fi Cole The current situation is hard for everyone with relatives in care homes but updated guidance on visitors being allowed to visit inside care homes is due very soon - within the next few days according to Matt Hancock. I can understand that bringing your mum home will be better for you in terms of not having to speak through a window but as you have said yourself, you will be increasing her risk of infection, plus any change of surroundings can be very stressful for someone with dementia. Also, your mum is currently being looked after by a team of people so you'd need to think very carefully about how you would manage her care on your own, particularly at a time when it may be quite difficult to get a suitable care package put in place. It's worth waiting for a little while longer to see what the updated guidance says before making a decision.
 

Fi Cole

New member
Jul 10, 2020
2
Welcome to the forum @Fi Cole The current situation is hard for everyone with relatives in care homes but updated guidance on visitors being allowed to visit inside care homes is due very soon - within the next few days according to Matt Hancock. I can understand that bringing your mum home will be better for you in terms of not having to speak through a window but as you have said yourself, you will be increasing her risk of infection, plus any change of surroundings can be very stressful for someone with dementia. Also, your mum is currently being looked after by a team of people so you'd need to think very carefully about how you would manage her care on your own, particularly at a time when it may be quite difficult to get a suitable care package put in place. It's worth waiting for a little while longer to see what the updated guidance says before making a decision.
Thanks @canary @Louise7 and @lemonbalm - I'm new to forums and it feels great to have some help with this dilemma that plagues me daily.
If I'm able to become a key worker through the new guidelines, I wonder if I might (with care) be allowed to take her out for a walk around a nearby lake, which I know is what she's yearning to do. It's the lack of freedom that upsets her.
 

Louise7

Registered User
Mar 25, 2016
2,265
If I'm able to become a key worker through the new guidelines, I wonder if I might (with care) be allowed to take her out for a walk around a nearby lake, which I know is what she's yearning to do.
Fingers crossed for you. At the moment I can visit mum for an hour a week in the garden, from 2 meters away. She can't walk but just to be able to push her around the garden in her chair to look at the flowers but be lovely.
 

Susan11

Registered User
Nov 18, 2018
2,319
I've been told no visits until the end of July and then it will be for half an hour and you have to have had test with a negative result . I don't know how you get a test if you have no symptoms and Mum's home is a three and half hour drive away. It's a long way to go for a half hour visit.
 

nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
20,621
North Manchester
I don't know how you get a test if you have no symptoms
I understood that the current proposal is to designate people wanting to visit somebody in a care home as essential (key) workers meaning they could apply for a test, includes self test at home with supplied kit.
https://www.gov.uk/apply-coronavirus-test-essential-workers .

End of July makes some sense as that is when shielding is scheduled to be paused, there are likely to be many people shielding in a care home.
 
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Susan11

Registered User
Nov 18, 2018
2,319
I understood that the current proposal is to designate people wanting to visit somebody in a care home as essential (key) workers meaning they could apply for a test, includes self test at home with supplied kit.
https://www.gov.uk/apply-coronavirus-test-essential-workers .

End of July makes some sense as that is when shielding is scheduled to be paused, there are likely to be many people shielding in a car home.
 

Susan11

Registered User
Nov 18, 2018
2,319
thanks. I'll do some more research. I'm hoping I can make a special case to stay longer than half an hour but as they're making appointments I think that will be unlikely.