1. 99purdy

    99purdy Registered User

    Oct 31, 2014
    129
    Hi everybody, help/advice needed if possible. Everything ready for COP application, COP1, COP1A, COP3, COP4 all completed and duplicated. Copies of will and deeds attached all in duplicate? Hope all OK up to now. How did you post to Court was it just normal 1st class or registered post? Thanks x
     
  2. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,397
    Female
    South coast
    I sent mine registered post - just to make sure
    I also made photocopies of all the forms - just in case

    Im a belt and braces girl
     
  3. Dibs

    Dibs Registered User

    Jun 19, 2009
    1,900
    Hampshire
    Hi
    I also sent my application by registered post and took copies of everything.
    Dibs (Deborah)
     
  4. 99purdy

    99purdy Registered User

    Oct 31, 2014
    129
    Thank you so much for your help. I will send registered post. X
     
  5. Jesskle66

    Jesskle66 Registered User

    Jul 5, 2014
    99
    Did mine for my mum with a solicitor and he said it was posted yesterday. Will be interesting to see if we progress at the same pace, purdy.
     
  6. Kazza72

    Kazza72 Registered User

    Feb 10, 2015
    202
    West London
    Just out of interest, how long does it take to get CoP set up?


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  7. Jesskle66

    Jesskle66 Registered User

    Jul 5, 2014
    99
    My solicitor said it will be roughly 4 months after the paperwork goes in. There are various steps that need to happen, such as informing others close to my mum that I am applying, serving my mum with papers and trying to see if she will sign. Fat chance of that as her paranoia is rampant and she thinks we are stealing her money anyway.
     
  8. Kazza72

    Kazza72 Registered User

    Feb 10, 2015
    202
    West London
    Sorry to hear that jess. Don't think I will be able to apply as me and my brother had a huge falling out around 4 years ago after I called the police as his feral family were rinsing my my mum so I think my brother would oppose my application ... It will be tit for tat....might just get the court to appoint a deputy themselves then


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  9. Jesskle66

    Jesskle66 Registered User

    Jul 5, 2014
    99
    Kazza, you don't need to give details of family members who no longer have contact with your mum. It is only people who have regular contact who need to be informed, in my case one of my sisters and a couple of mum's friends.
     
  10. Kazza72

    Kazza72 Registered User

    Feb 10, 2015
    202
    West London
    So that would be no one then. Believe it or not but no one has kept contact :(


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  11. 99purdy

    99purdy Registered User

    Oct 31, 2014
    129
    Hi Jess, could be interesting. I was initially using a solicitor but due to his costs being too expensive I decided to go it alone. So hi ho let's hope I got it right. The Doctor lost the cop3 forms and everything that can go wrong has! Will keep you posted! Kazza I have had the similar problem and have just named friends who have visited regularly. Not really bothered I am prepared to stand up in any court and tell my story. If it is incorrect then the worst case scenario is do it again. As long as Dad is ok that is all that matters. Good luck to everybody. Xq
     
  12. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,397
    Female
    South coast
    There is a phone number you can use is there are any queries about anything you are unsure about. Ive used it a couple of times and the lady on the other end is actually very helpful.
     
  13. Jesskle66

    Jesskle66 Registered User

    Jul 5, 2014
    99
    Solicitor's letter came today that COP have accepted the application and I now have to serve papers on y mum. I know it is absolutely necessary in order to ensure that everything is done correctly but I am totally distraught at the thought. There is a time limit and it has to be done by May 18th. I am thinking that it is best to go with my (one supportive) sister and ask for a nurse to be there to witness it ( mum is sectioned). She is highly paranoid and has accused me of stealing before so that adds another interesting element to it all. As she has also been very violent with me I am dreading it.
     
  14. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,397
    Female
    South coast
    My solicitor said to me that you have to explain the form in terms that she can understand, which gives you a lot of wiggle room. ;)
    Mum accused me of stealing from her too and point blank refused to sign PoA - hence the CoP.
    I got one of the nurses to witness it too - done discretely while she was giving her a cup of tea (good distraction) - and I told mum that i was applying to make it legal that I could pay her bills for her. She seemed quite happy about that.
     
  15. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,624
    USA
    Jesskle, I'm in the States, where we have a different procedure, but I wanted to offer words of support and encouragement. I'm sorry this is so upsetting and of course you are distraught, given what you've described.

    Definitely have a nurse or other staff member there with you. They can be a great distraction as well as support (and some people report their family members behave better with non-family around). Also have someone there to support YOU. And if possible, do something nice for yourself afterwards or later that day (chocolate in the car counts if there's no time for anything else).

    Otherwise I wish you luck, and creative thinking. I like canary's story of how she told her mum she was making it legal to pay the bills! When my mother starts to yell at me about "what have you done with my house" I calmly reply that I have cleaned out the refrigerator so the food wouldn't spoil. Inevitably she replies, oh, good idea and then I distract her. (And I did clean out the fridge...along with the closets, the living room, the bedrooms, the bathrooms and we're still cleaning it all out!)

    I hope you find an approach that works for you. Good luck!
     
  16. Jesskle66

    Jesskle66 Registered User

    Jul 5, 2014
    99
    Thanks so much for the support, canary and Amy. Great idea to have a staff member there and I really like the way you explained it, canary. Will let you know how it goes!
     
  17. 99purdy

    99purdy Registered User

    Oct 31, 2014
    129
    Hi everybody, just to add I finally posted my application,by special delivery, on the 30th, so few days after Jess. I will have exactly the same problem. Dad will not understand then accuse me of all sorts! What a dreadful, miserable illness this is. Hope all goes well Jess.
     
  18. Jesskle66

    Jesskle66 Registered User

    Jul 5, 2014
    99
    Well I took the step of serving papers on my mum today. It went as expected, but being prepared for it definitely helped. Thanks to all who posted suggestions on how to handle it. I did say it was so I could pay her bills for her and had a member of staff with me as well as my sister. Initial response was 'I can pay my own bills' then 'I don't have any money' then swearing at me and trying to hit me. So a usual visit! I doubt very much if she will read the documentation, even though I said she should and to speak to her advocate if she was unhappy with it. A huge relief to get it behind me. Good luck when it comes to that next step purdy.
     
  19. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,397
    Female
    South coast
    Im glad it went OK, even if not well. jesskie. Be warned you will have to serve her with further papers as CoP progresses. Just do the same thing again.

    By now you should have sent off all the forms back to the court saying everyone has been informed and there will be a wait while they see if anyone objects. Assuming there are no objections then you will have to wait for a date for the court hearing (which you shouldnt need to attend) and the court will write to you for the court fees.
     
  20. sue38

    sue38 Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    10,856
    Wigan, Lancs
    It's not an easy thing to do - we spend our time avoiding conversations that may become confrontational, practising compassionate communication and yet this conversation breaks all those rules. I'm glad it's done and behind you.

    You mentioned earlier in the thread about your mum signing. As you perhaps know your mum doesn't need to sign anything, but you have to sign a form confirming that you have served her.

    One way of explaining it is to say that you're asking a judge to make the decision of whether it's a good idea for you to deal with their financial affairs. This may deflect some of the blame from you.
     

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