My mother is 85 and was diagnosed with dementia in 2010 although the condition manifested itself years before. Since 2012 her condition has deteriorated considerably. We are now at the stage where she's no longer washing, changing her clothes, her eating is very patchy and she's generally a bit of a danger to the household -- items left on the stove, house unsecured etc.
For reasons I cannot fathom, neither social services nor the memory clinic are helpful and the latter is downright hostile to me. Last autumn I began working with specialist solicitors to try and extricate my son and I from the house we all live in and which I own with my mother, because of their lack of support.
I have had both a needs assessment and a capacity assessment done privately. The needs assessment says Ma would be better cared for in a residential setting and the nurse who conducted it said Ma did not have capacity. The psychiatrist spent a long time with Ma this week and said she has no capacity in relation to deciding her care or managing her finances and his report will say she can't live on her own for a host of reasons ranging from risk of malnutrition through to exploitation.
Yesterday the social worker turned up to do a needs assessment for Ma. She did not do a capacity assessment but took everything Ma said at face value. Namely that Ma didn't want to leave 'her home' -- a place she barely recognises most days. I was clear: I will not and cannot look after my mother anymore as her condition is too advanced and I am knackered with responsibilities to my sick child. I told her that two independent care professionals had found my Ma lacked capacity. The social worker started going on about deprivation of liberty. The advocate piped up and said mum lacked capacity into understanding her situation and so it was now down to a best interests meeting. The social worker brushed this off and dismissed my claims of not being able to cope.
I feel that my only course is to push ahead with the CoP and throw myself on their mercy and beg them to see past an elderly woman saying 'no' to everything and help me situate her somewhere where she has access to care 24 hours a day and I can focus on helping my son get better.
I had thought this new care act was meant to take into account how we carers are doing but apparently not.
I'd appreciate the group's opinions / thoughts about going to the CoP to beg for an intervention. Yes, I'm resigned to spending my savings on this
For reasons I cannot fathom, neither social services nor the memory clinic are helpful and the latter is downright hostile to me. Last autumn I began working with specialist solicitors to try and extricate my son and I from the house we all live in and which I own with my mother, because of their lack of support.
I have had both a needs assessment and a capacity assessment done privately. The needs assessment says Ma would be better cared for in a residential setting and the nurse who conducted it said Ma did not have capacity. The psychiatrist spent a long time with Ma this week and said she has no capacity in relation to deciding her care or managing her finances and his report will say she can't live on her own for a host of reasons ranging from risk of malnutrition through to exploitation.
Yesterday the social worker turned up to do a needs assessment for Ma. She did not do a capacity assessment but took everything Ma said at face value. Namely that Ma didn't want to leave 'her home' -- a place she barely recognises most days. I was clear: I will not and cannot look after my mother anymore as her condition is too advanced and I am knackered with responsibilities to my sick child. I told her that two independent care professionals had found my Ma lacked capacity. The social worker started going on about deprivation of liberty. The advocate piped up and said mum lacked capacity into understanding her situation and so it was now down to a best interests meeting. The social worker brushed this off and dismissed my claims of not being able to cope.
I feel that my only course is to push ahead with the CoP and throw myself on their mercy and beg them to see past an elderly woman saying 'no' to everything and help me situate her somewhere where she has access to care 24 hours a day and I can focus on helping my son get better.
I had thought this new care act was meant to take into account how we carers are doing but apparently not.
I'd appreciate the group's opinions / thoughts about going to the CoP to beg for an intervention. Yes, I'm resigned to spending my savings on this
